


Of Wolves and Elves

by Felandris



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol & Isabela, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Book: Dragon Age - The Masked Empire, Drunk Lavellan, Every companion, F/M, Lavellan's Past, Love Triangles, Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, aqua magus, somewhat gamebased
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:25:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 64,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8419576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felandris/pseuds/Felandris
Summary: What happens when History student Ellana Lavellan forgets about her training as a First and drinks half bottle of Aqua Magus?Kissing a stranger at the back of a bar of course!





	1. Aqua Magus

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the modern City of New Amaranthine!  
> This is my first attempt to write fanfiction! I've been thinking about it for a while so here is my take! Hope you enjoy it, guys!  
> All Chapters have been updated (some minor changes and corrections)  
> (Rated Mature for some later chapters)
> 
> A reminder that I will be taking Elven words and phrases that are not canon from Lingojam.

The air put little cold kisses on her cheeks when she looked at the huge clock tower.

_She’s late, again…_

She didn’t mind, though. The rainy weather brought back memories of her clan. It was one of those days that made city people think before leaving the comfort of their home. However, Ellana never gave much thought to it.

She couldn’t tell whether it was inherited by her mother or cultivated by years of wandering around the rainy mountains. Rain always made her storm out of her house, minding not her mother’s constant warnings about catching a cold. Despite the countless coughs and sneezes, she couldn’t resist the feeling of tiny drops landing on her skin and the smell of earth reeking into her nostrils.

The memory put a little smile of her lips. She let her eyes wander at the old clock tower again enjoying the weather, when a short man asked her if she could take a picture of him and his wife.

“Thank you.”

She observed them giggling over the photo. Their smiles were kind. She had never seen Humans smile that way. They always seemed too troubled to enjoy themselves. Despite their politeness towards her, she felt like a stranger. The city was huge, though. An ‘outcast’ like her should probably fit it. If not, then… that was a problem for another day.

“Hey!” The sudden voice made her turn away from the dwarf couple. “Ellana!”

She watched the girl with the short black hair at the distance approaching her.

“Hey.”

“You enjoy our perfect weather, don’t you?”

“It’s not that bad…”

“Try living here for three years and then talk to me, again! I feel like deep mushrooms will sprout out of my armpits!”

Ellana couldn’t resist chuckling but the girl seemed to enjoy it. There were only a few people that could make her feel so comfortable.

“How do you feel?”

“Like the Dread Wolf is going to snatch me any time now!”

“What’s this, again?" Her voice was curious “I always forget! Merrill told me once but—“

“The short version?”

Ellana’s fingers ran cautiously through her green scarf, thinking of the old stories her mother had told her.

“Maker, yes!”

“Elven god, traitor, locked away our gods, terrifying wolf with six eyes, all red.”

“That’s it! Do you think there’s an actual dog out there, stalking and kidnapping Dalish virgins?”

“Why not? The goddess Mythal was said to be able to turn into a dragon. There are many stories of wanderers saying that they saw an old lady transform into a powerful beast. I’m not sure about the kidnapping virgins part, though.”

“You have to teach me that! Please Ellana! A dragon! Imagine that! I could be the first to earn the title of Fireball Champion!”

She suddenly felt her hand squeezing her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Marian. It’s impossible. But even if I knew how, it would need the skills of a professional Shapeshifter to do it.”

“Crap!”

She finally released her shoulder, picturing herself turning into a mighty beast that breathed fire. Ellana could also picture it. She had understood from her tomboyish look and harsh words that Marian was nothing close to a lady of the court. She guessed that Kirkwall had that effect. So many riots and attacks happened every year that it was only natural that the children of Kirkwall would turn out to be fighters rather than courtesans and courtiers.

“Are you in for tonight?”

“What’s tonight?”

“The Grey Wardens are playing at the bar I’m working! Nine o’clock sharp! Be there.”

“I don’t know…”

“Of course you do! Do you have anything better to do tomorrow? It’s Friday, Ellana! And you’ll have company until I finish work. Remember Isabela? Theron? He is the lead guitarist!”

“She made sure of it…” She recalled the first time she’d met her because the name Theron meant nothing to her. She’d met Isabela at a café Marian used to hang out. She had been so elegant in her office clothes, strict but exotic at the same. She’d told her she worked for a company that exported ships at the Docks. Or something like that.

However, the next time they had gone out for a drink, she looked more like a pirate than a businesswoman. Drinking one shot after the other, cursing in terms Ellana couldn’t understand, asking her where she could buy a parrot and kissing strangers...

Those were the highlights of their night.

“Come on! Do it for me!”

“Fine."

She didn’t have anything else to do and she hadn’t even attended so many classes to have tons of reading. It was her first time in a big city, away from the forest, the camp and her responsibilities as a First.

She surely felt lucky that she was allowed to come here. Winning a scholarship in the University of New Amaranthine was a first among her clan. She couldn’t have asked for anything else. Despite the relevantly small number of elves throughout the University, it was good to see that dwarves and Qunari had their fair share.

“Thedas to Ellana! What are you thinking?”

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about my clan…”

“Ah. I know that feeling.”

Marian stopped outside the huge building of the Department of History and Foreign Cultures. "Don’t let that affect your mood. I was in the same position some years ago. I know it’s tough. Okay?"

Ellana nodded feeling embarrassed for letting her homesickness show. But Marian was right.

“See you after my afternoon practice then!” She smiled at her, again, taking a glimpse at her watch. "Shit! I’m late.”

Ellana saw her running away towards the sports facilities. She wondered how Marian and her had started hanging out in the first place. She was clearly quite popular as Captain of the Fireball team. Ellana found it difficult to see how tossing a ball around demanded so many hours of practice. But she would be happy to go to Marian’s first match and find out what it was about.

 

“Please complete this form and place your signature here.”

“Of course.” Ellana murmured picking a pencil from the tin case on the woman’s desk.

“It’s Ellana Lavellan, student number 1264002, female, elf origin?”

“Yes.”

“Great. Just fill in your details and the new module you wish to attend.”

The woman had already completed ‘New Haven, New Thedas: Andrastianism and the World in the Years of the Inquisition’ in one of the boxes and with elegant letters Ellana wrote her new choice next to it.

“A World Turned Upside Down: Fade, Myth and Fact in the Making of Ancient Arlathan? Are you sure about it?”

Her voice made Ellana’s eyes turn away from the sheet.

“I— yes. Is there a problem?”

Mother Giselle was an excellent professor, so it didn’t have to do with that. In fact, it was a last-minute change when she had found out that she had totally missed that a module on Elven Culture existed.

“I’m sorry. Where are my manners. I’m not implying anything, it’s just…“ She cleared her throat. “The Professor is a bit… faddy, if you like.”

“Faddy?” She slowly placed the pencil back looking at the woman’s sun-kissed face.

“Well… many students usually change it after one or two lectures.” Her accent made Ellana feel a bit worried. It couldn’t mean that it was bad. Elven history was probably a bit too much for some Andrastians. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you nervous. Just that you can change it again if you don’t like it.”

“Thank you, Miss Montilyet.” She handed her the sheet feeling quite confident about her decision.

“Josephine’s fine. We are not so far apart. Age I mean.”

“Of course. Have you been working here long?”

“Is it too obvious?” She chuckled. “Two years. I came here after graduating from the University of Antiva. Have you ever visited Antiva City?”

“No. My clan never travelled that far away from the Free Marches. But I’d like to go some day.”

“I see. If you go, make sure to take sunscreen with you. The Antivan sun can burn you up in a second.”

Ellana finally saw her placing the form aside and then stood up tidying her skirt. The woman seemed really nice for someone she’d met a few weeks ago. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to drop by or contact me. I’ll be glad to help. Do you have the secretary’s number?”

She always felt happy when people were nice to her. She preferred it from comments about her ears anyway. Ellana left Josephine’s office silently after nodding and walked through the crowded corridor when she finally found the right Amphitheatre.

“Ellana! Here!” Someone waved at her and when she moved closer, she came across a familiar smiling face.

“Hi.” She hurried to sit and rummaged her bag for the correct textbook.

“Is it done?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure about it? Like sure  _sure_?”

“Why shouldn’t I, Krem?" She examined his face, again. 

 _New haircut_ …

“Maybe because everyone says it’s awful? If you wanted something more challenging, you should’ve picked something from Public Relations.”

“I don’t think it will be that hard. I’ve been studying Elven history since always!”

He folded his arms on his chest leaning back to take a closer look at the girl next to Ellana. “Just saying that if you have a shitty professor, then it will suck for the rest of the semester. Trust me.”

“The secretary told me I can change it again if I’m not pleased.”

“And that would be the smartest thing to do!” He stressed that last part.

Ellana was aware that he was retaking that first-year module only because he had failed it last year. Krem reassured her that the new professor must be a hundred times better than that Archdemon, Professor Calpernia.

That made her wonder about her new module.

Could it be that bad?

 

The bar was crowded when she opened the heavy door. A blend of cigarettes and alcohol flooded her nose as she walked and her eyes caught the stage on her left. Humans and Dwarfs were chatting and drinking around the bar. Some of them wore outfits that made her wonder whether Fereldan fashion only depended on Mabari and bone prints.

She had to search for the right table and when she found it, she noticed Isabela’s black curls falling gracefully onto her exposed cleavage.

“Hey!” Her voice was loud, overpowering the strange music piercing Ellana’s ears.

“Hi.”

She was exactly as she remembered her. A mixture of businesswoman and pirate, fun and business, who appreciated fine liquor and a good mischief.

“I’ve already ordered a bottle of red wine.”

“Okay.”

“You don’t have to be so tense.” Isabela’s naked arm found its way around her neck. Her strong perfume made Ellana’s nose itch a little. “Just relax, freshman. Have a little fun! Have a drink!”

“I’ll try.”

“So, how is University life going? We didn’t speak much last time.”

“It’s fine, I suppose…” Her eyes avoided Isabela’s eyes, searching the crowd of cheerful humans for some familiarity.

“Hmmm… That calls for something stronger than wine!”

She was sure that that meant no good. Especially after catching a glimpse of Isabela’s devilish smile. "Bring us a bottle of Aqua Magus instead."

The waiter seemed captivated by her face and after checking her out for a few seconds, he remembered he had a job to do.

“Aqua Magus?” Ellana’s voice was curious at first.

“I’m sure you’ll love it." She winked at her, grabbing the almost empty wine glass in front of her. It made Ellana wonder how much she had already drunk while waiting for her.

Her face was a little difficult to read. Ellana didn’t know if she wanted to just chat or mess around with her. Isabela looked like a woman who wouldn’t mind either male or female company. She just wanted to have a good time.

Ellana’s stomach twisted a little. She didn’t want to end up throwing up in a corner or doing something more embarrassing than that.

She finally took her eyes away from Isabela’s glass when the music stopped and the band appeared on stage. A dwarf, a human... and an elf?

“The elf boy is Theron!” Isabela whispered in her ear, attracting her attention from the longish black hair and elven features. "He’s a Dalish like you. He’s delicious, isn’t he?"

Ellana’s fingers reached unconsciously for her face. Humans found Dalish with vallaslin amusing. It was a rare sight that caused a million questions she always tried to avoid. The process of getting those tattoos was already painful enough to recall.

“Do you know him?”

Ellana wished she’d asked something else instead. _A Dalish without vallaslin?_

“Marian’s friend.” Isabela’s eyes sparkled. “I wish I’d done something with him but he had a girlfriend when I first met him.” She pushed her glass to her lips trying to determine if Ellana looked interested enough to know more about him. “I’m sure this place must have some good muscle. How do you like them? Tall, short, with extraordinary  _qualifications_?”

“Excuse me?”

“How do you like them? You seem to be the I-like-my-own-people kind of girl but I needed to ask. What about Qunari? You know they have many hidden talents… down there, right?”

“Oh… I— well—“ She didn’t really want to talk about such a delicate matter with her. It wasn’t even the right place to do it. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Maker’s balls!" Her mouth was too close to her ear that it sent chills down her spine. “Are you a…  _virgin?_ ”

Ellana tried to shush her but Isabella was already smiling weirdly at her.

“I was focused on my studies…”

“Studies? Haven’t you lived your life a little? Done something crazy enough to remember and laugh about it?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Well, guess what?”

Her voice made Ellana question the rest of their night out.

“I’ll regret that…” She reassured herself but Isabela didn’t seem to notice the hints of slight disapproval.

“We are drinking the whole Aqua Magus!”

That didn’t sound good.

 

“Ellana! Are you alright?”

“Yessss! Whyyy?”

“How much did you give her, Isabela?”

Marian’s voice echoed in Ellana’s head like a bell. The music, though, was making her body synch with the rest of the bar denizens.

“Relax. It’s only half a bottle!”

“You gave Aqua Magus to a freshman!?”

“She has to live a little! Look at her all happy and dancy!”

“Ellana?” Marian reached out to her. “Do you want to go to the bathroom? Do you need some air?”

“Just let her have some fun, mom! Fancy another drink, El? I know you do!”

“Nooo! I want to dancee!” Ellana looked at them shaking her head in bliss. Some hair escaped on her shoulders from the neat ponytail tickling her neck.

“Bathroom it is.”

Marian stood up and forced Ellana to follow her through the crowd. She knew she was okay but her body and mouth acted on their own. She could feel people bumping onto her as they danced and she tried not to lose Marian out of her sight.

Unfortunately, it happened.

She found herself in the middle of the room surrounded by strangers drinking and dancing. The lights were dim and she could find neither Marian nor the bathroom. She allowed herself to be carried away by the music until she saw a door at the distance. She thought it was the bathroom and clumsily moved through, forgetting about her manners.

She was wrong, again.

It wasn’t the bathroom but the door to the back alley. The cold air made her head feel lighter and she closed the door to rest her body on it for a while. Everything was hazy and she tried hard not to let the dizziness carry her away. She felt happy. Or at least that was the drink making all the thinking.

Ellana liked it. Never had she let herself so loose. It was like she could do everything she hadn’t done so far.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted, though. Someone was trying to open the door but she was blocking it. She moved clumsily forwards, her stomach twisting, and a person appeared, allowing the sea of voices to break out momentarily. Ellana could see that  _he_  was examining her. A  _he_  because of the clothes, she thought.

Black pants and a white shirt…

He asked her something but she murmured something else looking at the cigarette on his hand. He tried again but Ellana was already lost in her own colourful world of wild decisions. She saw him walking away and for a reason her head had picked she followed him biting her lower lip.

Ellana murmured something to him and when the stranger turned around she pinned him on the wall next to her. Her lips pressed onto the stranger’s fiercely. He was caught by surprise, trying carefully to push her back, but she didn’t seem to care.

That sudden freedom forced her fingers to explore the stranger’s face, feeling its softness and demanding from him to give back.

A few seconds passed with her lips still on his.

_Wh—_

She drew back still squeezing the soft fabric of his shirt in annoyance when the stranger didn’t react to her kiss. She hadn’t managed to make the kiss deeper. Her face and ears were burning and she finally released his shirt when she saw pointy ears in the darkness. Everything else was a blur, a beautiful but hazy dream that she wouldn’t recall in the morning.

She imagined herself going inside and telling Marian that she’d kissed a stranger. Then they would laugh about it and have another drink until it was time to go.

However, she found herself pinned on the wall next to her. Dizziness won, again, and the stranger’s lips felt warm and heavy on hers. His hands found her waist and she tried to breathe. She allowed him to touch her tongue and as they swirled together she felt parts of her body responding to the strange sensation.

Her fingers tried to reach his neck but she didn’t manage to do it when she realised.

_Shit!_

She broke the kiss and headed inside without looking back as a moment of clarity occurred to her. Her cheeks where burning and her heart was racing. The fresh air was quickly replaced by stuffiness and the smell of alcohol. She moved through the crowd in a hurry thinking what had just happened.

“Ellana! Where were you?” Marian shouted when she saw her. She wanted to scold her but her face made her shush.

“Can we leave?”

 

Thirty minutes later Marian was carrying an exhausted Ellana inside her empty Dorm.

She stayed until she had fallen asleep, checking her in case she needed anything. Marian sat on her couch thinking that she’d kill Isabela for giving her one of the strongest things they had at the bar.

She had come to care for her. Ellana was a Dalish, all alone in a city full of stupid people. Somehow the naïve elven girl reminded her of herself when she’d come here to work and later attend University. She was all alone. Her father was long dead, her mother murdered by a psychopath Mage, her brother killed during an outlaw ambush while on patrol…

Marian finally saw Ellana open her eyes when the smell of coffee flooded her nostrils. It was terrible at first and made her stomach feel strange.

She attempted to stand up but a nasty headache spread on her forehead. She wanted to sleep more, forever if possible, but seeing Marian there in her work outfit made her jump out of bed.

“Good morning.”

“What? Where?”

“Do you remember what happened yesterday?”

“I— Aqua Magus… Isabela—“ Ellana’s eyes narrowed, trying hard to remember how much she’d drunk.

“Exactly. Isabela and Aqua Magus is a bad combination. I’m sorry on her behalf. If you—“

“Marian?” Her voice wasn’t angry, not even a little remorseful. “It was the best night.” Her smile confused her.

“Best night? Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Ellana’s head hurt like hell, her eyes and throat felt sore and her feet needed some more rest, but she had fun. A kind of fun she was never able to have at her camp. Not like that.

“That’s…good. But I have to ask, what happened? You seemed quite… stressed.”

“Stressed?” She sank deep into thinking. There should have been a reason she had a good time. “I was—“ She tried hard to remember and Marian waited to hear what she had got herself into. “I can’t quite remember…”

“I see. So, whatever  _bad_  thing you did will stay there…”

Marian chuckled lightly as she tried to guess whether Ellana had got into a bar fight or done something nastier even for her to guess.

“Bad?”

“You drank half a bottle of Aqua Magus with Isabela.  _Bad_  is the best thing that could happen, Ellana.”

“Creators!” She tried to stand up still wearing her night out clothes. “I can’t remember!”

“Don’t worry. The worst thing that could have happened in there was you throwing up all over the place. Does it ring a bell?"

It didn’t. But her stomach still remembered the amount of liquor she had devoured and forced her to run into the bathroom.

“Ellana?” Marian’s voice was worried but when she heard her throwing up it was for the best. “Do you want me to order lunch?”

She came back looking like a mess and sat on the couch next to Marian to rest her head.

“Thank you for staying.”

“It’s nothing. You never leave a friend drinking Aqua Magus with Isabela alone.”

 _A friend?_  That echoed nicely into Ellana’s head.

“Ma serannas.”

Marian could guess what that meant. Ellana leaned slowly on her shoulder and fell asleep while listening to the sound of her clock ticking. She needed that and Marian didn’t really mind. It felt nice for a change to know that she had acquired a new friend.

“No need for that.”

 

The weekend after their night at the bar was quiet. Ellana had woken up after some hours, finding a note from Marian to call her if she needed anything. She was still feeling her head heavy and decided that a cold shower could fix that.

Something had totally disarrayed her magic. If she could, she would’ve gone out and practise her spells. However, she was aware that casting spells in the city without a reason was forbidden. She really missed the freedom of the forest. Maybe, if she could find the time, she could visit one of those Sparring Facilities to blow some steam.

After her shower, Ellana walked to her kitchen and found her teapot. She had some Elfroot tea her mother had given her before leaving. She poured water from the tap and with a gentle move she placed the teapot on her palm.

Little flames sprang from it, circling the teapot. It didn’t burn her. It felt like a summer breeze that flooded her with warmth. At least making tea using magic wasn’t illegal.

The smell was familiar and relaxing and when she had her first sip her mind cleared a little. It was when everything came back to her. Following Marian to the bathroom. The door. The dark alley and him… The stranger she had kissed! Not only that. The stranger that had kissed her back.

She recalled the excitement and her heart raced. She quickly put the tea aside and searched for her phone, then found the right contact and waited for her to answer.

“Hey! Did you finally wake up?”

“Marian… I remembered what happened.”

“Really? Was it that bad?”

“I kissed a stranger!”

“You did what?"

“It’s not funny, Marian!”

“But,” Some chuckles escaped her mouth. “it is! Do you remember the face? Was it a man?”

“I think it was a man.” A sudden knot moved down from her throat to her stomach. “Creators! I don’t remember what he looked like!”

“I see.” Her voice was still playful. “A name perhaps?”

“No. Nothing!”

“Do you think he knows what you look like?”

“I don’t think so. It was probably dark…”

“That’s good. You don’t want a stranger asking around for you.”

“You think?” Ellana’s voice was serious, but softened as she recalled the unfamiliar sensation of the stranger’s lips on hers.

“So… how was it?”

She didn’t answer until a few seconds had passed.

“It was… my first kiss…”

“Oh Ellana…” Her voice finally turned from playful to compassionate. “I’m going to kill Isabela!”

“No! I mean… it wasn’t that bad. If you don’t consider the fact that he was a total stranger at the back of a bar… and I was drunk.”

“Yeah… it doesn’t sound that good.”

“But…” she made a little pause. "It was kind of nice." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ma serannas: Thank you
> 
> Also, ma serannas for reading! :)
> 
> This is an updated version with some changes.


	2. Questioning Beliefs

Ellana spent her Sunday thinking about the stranger and their fierce kiss.

She also caught herself feeling excited, something that should not be there. Distracting herself with some reading for tomorrow’s class was the only thing she could do. She had already missed the first three classes and didn’t know how her new professor would react to that. If he was as _faddy_ as Josephine had suggested, then she had to prepare herself for the worst.

Her fingers slid on some glossy pictures of huge mosaics from the Ancient Temple of Mythal. She enjoyed the myths and legends of her People more than anything. The History of Arlathan and its ways was always something that amazed her.

Stories of the gods, interpretations, everything was in her head. Only one story caused uneasiness, though. Fen’Harel’s betrayal always made her feel like there was something crawling on her skin. As much as she tried to convince herself it was just a story, her dreams were somehow perturbed by dark figures with red eyes that dripped poison.

As a First, Ellana knew stories that books didn’t even dare to tell. She knew that because of the Dread Wolf the Dalish had lost the voices of their gods, dooming them into ages of unbearable silence.

She knew it was difficult, but maybe it was time to stop thinking like a frightened da’len and try to be the wise fearless Keeper the clan needed.

 

Ellana was on the sixth floor, searching for the correct room when she finally saw the numbers on the door. It was already ten minutes past ten, but he wouldn’t make a scene about that, she thought.

Ellana knocked gently twice and after seconds of unbearable silence, a voice finally answered her. She opened it slowly only to reveal a small classroom with individual desks. The worst part was over but the voice startled her as she closed the door behind her.

“You are Miss Lavellan, are you not?”

“Yes.” She turned around to face the source of the coldish voice.

He was leaning on his desk, a slim figure holding a thick book in a brown suit, old tie and leather shoes. He wasn’t looking at her, though.

“You know how to tell the time, do you not?” His voice gave her chills this time as embarrassment rooted in her heart. Of course he had an issue about being late, Ellana thought anew.

“I— do.” Her voice was a low sound of embarrassment and nervousness that tried to hide behind her smile.

“Next time I expect you to leave the comfort of your bed a bit earlier. Now, please, take a seat. The lecture has already begun and I am not going to repeat everything twice.”

She looked around the room trying not to think that some students were already staring at her. Pictures of mosaics and replicas of Elven artefacts adorned every corner along with tons of books with old covers.

Despite her politeness, Ellana felt the sudden urge to punch him in the face. He hadn’t even looked at her. How did he expect her to show respect?

There were some empty seats next to a shelf with small tree shaped artefacts in glass cases and she sat down feeling tense searching for her books silently. Her eyes locked on him. She imagined that his looks somewhat compensated for this bitterness, because he was good to look at despite the lack of hair.

His features, the thick lips and pointy ears, reminded her of those portrayals of ancient elves. He wasn’t Dalish, though. No vallaslin. Maybe he was an outcast like Theron. He started talking again with the same tone that hinted at snobbish wisdom.

It wasn’t hard to label him. Josephine was right.

 

During the first hour there, she tried not to cause any trouble. His attitude explained why there were only twelve students attending. Ellana and another girl with short blondish hair were the only elves as well.

However, when she observed her closely, she found out that she was listening to music the whole time. He didn’t even pay attention to her and Ellana wondered if that girl had made some sort of arrangement with him.

“Since this is the first time we have a Dalish student among us, I would like to readdress the issue of Fen’Harel’s interpretation throughout Elven lore. Can you give us a description of Fen’Harel, Miss Lavellan?”

The sound of the name coming from his lips felt stranger than usual. Of course he would ask something like that.

_Readdress…_

She was sure he enjoyed terrifying young Dalish students with that.

“There is little knowledge about Fen’Harel. He did not care for the People. Elgar’nan and Mythal created the world as we know it, Andruil taught elves the Ways of the Hunter, Sylaise and June gave them fire and crafting, but Fen'Harel kept to himself and plotted the betrayal of all the gods. After Arlathan’s destruction, when the gods could no longer hear the prayers, it is said that Fen’Harel spent centuries in a far corner of the earth, giggling madly and hugging himself in glee."

“A very accurate recitation of Gisharel’s  _Gods’ Triumphant Walk into the Fade_ , Miss Lavellan. But I do not need to hear something learnt by heart. I need thought and doubt. Can you do that? Are you able to question ancient lore?”

“Question ancient lore?” His words were confusing. “What else can Fen’Harel be rather than a traitor of his _People_?”

“A rebel perhaps, Miss Lavellan?” The word didn’t even seem fit for a figure that ominous.

“Rebel? No. I don’t think Fen’Harel was a rebel. A rebel with what cause? Fen’Harel tricked the old gods for reasons of his own! They saw him as a brother and trusted him when he said that they must keep to the heavens while he arranged a truce.”

“You structure your arguments based on the unquestionable bibliography of a Dalish Keeper, again.”

“Do you have a problem with the Dalish, professor?” She caught herself getting frustrated by his attitude. 

“I do not explore the ways of the Dalish in this course, Miss Lavellan, but the structures of Elven Culture and History. My opinion on the matter is of little importance. I want to hear your perceptions not Gisharel’s.”

“Is it so hard to share?" She could see him losing a bit of his cool remoteness. She had triggered something only she seemed to have noticed. The rest of the students, the shemlens at least, had probably picked it to get to know a culture facing extinction. They didn’t care as she did. For them, all those were stories and legends that excited their imaginations.

But for her…

“I believe that myths and legends are far apart from facts, Miss Lavellan. Once given the weight of History, legends mask themselves as facts rather than exaggerated stories.” His eyes pierced hers, making her regret asking.

“Elven History says that Fen’Harel sealed the gods away so they could never again walk among the People. He brought an age of silence for all elves!”

“This is what lore and oral tradition says.” He finally turned his gaze away from her. “But did anyone ask why he did it?”

Nobody spoke.

“Because giggling madly and hugging himself in glee apparently satisfied him. He was nothing more than a traitor who found joy in  _our_  People’s suffering.”

“Of course.” She saw a quick smile forming on his lips, disappearing as fast as it took to blink, though. “What the Dalish cannot fully understand is interpreted as evil practices and joy at seeing the world falling into raw chaos? Does the legend even try to expand on Fen’Harel’s motives? Does it explain Fen’Harel’s complexity and motivation? Do you accept that the Old gods were perfect in any sense? There is no sense of doubt in those stories. The Dalish just memorise them without even questioning their validity. Perhaps it is easier. But it also shows that they fear what they cannot fully understand, forcing it to assume the mantle of the evil persona. What if the stories about the Old gods were wrong, Miss Lavellan? What if they were the traitors?”

There was a knot in her throat, pressing, hurting, suffocating…

What sort of class was that? What sort of Elf questioned the Elven Culture? The legends? The stories? Everything that defined their identity?

“I can’t answer that…” She murmured embarrassed by the lack of finding an answer to shut him up.

“I thought so.” He gave her a look of disapproval without hesitating and grabbed a piece of broken chalk from the blackboard.

The low sound of chattering filled his ears and when he turned around, he came across something that had never happened to one of his classes before. Despite how annoying he was, how crass and direct, nobody had ever picked their stuff and left in the middle of his lecture.

There was silence after the door shut. Then he carried on with his lecture thinking nothing else but his notes.

 

Ellana had crawled into the cafeteria on the fourth floor still feeling his words haunting her.

Nobody else was there apart from some students that had skipped their classes. She hadn’t even touched the muffin she had bought, but kept staring at it thinking seriously about going to the secretary’s office and changing back to Mother Giselle’s module. It was simple as that. However, something in his voice had the exact opposite effect. She thought about all the stories she was told, about everything concerning Fen’Harel’s betrayal.

It made no sense. Fen’Harel the good guy? Like that could ever be possible, she had thought.

It was only when a familiar face sat across her that she stopped torturing herself with things that made her head hurt.

“Are you eating that?” Her voice had a particular colour.

“What?”

“The muffin? Are you going to stare at it long?”

“I— no. You can have it.” She looked at two blue eyes and a light smirk and then passed it to her. One hour ago, she had wondered about that particular face. Now it was in front of her, ready to give her all the answers she ever needed.

“Sera’s the name, by the way.” She said and then devoured the muffin at once. Ellana thought that for a petit girl she sure had an appetite. She didn’t seem Dalish. Her face was empty and her voice sounded Fereldan. Denerim perhaps.

“Ellana.” She whispered still looking at her.

“Just screw him. His head crammed up a long time ago. That’s why he’s an arse!”

“The Professor you mean?”

“Pffft!” She grimaced “No, the Archdemon!” Her voice was playful. “Of course, I mean him!”

“Is he that bad?”

“That was just being polite. He wasn’t even trying to piss you off. He is worse than you think!” She folded her arms on her red tunic. Something on her seemed quite comforting. 

“Why did you choose his module, then?”

“I didn’t have much of a choice. My benefactor’s idea. Pffft. If not for her I would’ve put an arrow up his arse!” That had made her day. An arrow would’ve been perfect! “Do you have a scholarship?”

“Is it so obvious?” Ellana’s voice was calmer. “You?”

“I’m here only because of the National Archery team. Taking all those stupid courses and stuff was the student counsellor’s idea.” Her eyes narrowed. “Somehow she has eyes and ears everywhere! I think she’s a friggin spy!”

“A spy?” She laughed questioning the girl’s ability to judge people. “Who is she?”

“Leliana Nightingale! Your best friend or your worst enemy! Seriously!”

“Thank you for the information, I guess.”

“Maker! You have to chill a bit!”

“Maker?” Her voice was genuinely curious about that.

“Yes. Maker! Is there a problem?”

“No, no. I meant… you are Andrastian?”

“Because I’m an elf? Maker and his bride, Elven gods with teeth and stuff. It doesn’t make a big difference to me. You on the other hand. Don’t be such an elfy elf.”

“I see.”

“I’ll have to go back to that arse-biscuit’s class. He’ll report me… again, if I don’t show up.” Her face was honest.

“Again?”

“You aren’t the first troublemaker into that arse-fucking class! See ya later.”

“Thank you.”

“No need.” She stuck out her tongue for a second and then disappeared, leaving Ellana alone with her thoughts. It was nice for a change to meet more elves. Especially ones that had a unique perception of things.

The professor, though, didn’t count

 

Ellana decided not to change modules.

She would try to cope with it and try to see the point of such fierce ‘rebellion’ against the old stories. However, if things got out of hand, she could figure it out then. Sera’s advice to chill some hours ago had stuck in her mind. People here weren’t her clan. It wasn’t her obligation to act super nice to them if they didn’t act the same.

So, she decided. Whatever happened from now on, she would deal with it. She was already destined to live that kind of life after finishing her studies. Why not give herself a break from all of it?

The rest of her classes were quiet. She had shown a particular interest in _Slavery in Tevinter during the Early Years_ , simply because slavery was something her clan had carried as a dark page in their history for centuries. The professor was very good as well. She thought he was maybe too kind for a Tevinter and gossip was already going around about that man.

She’d heard that he couldn't learn much in the way of spells, and his father had brought in tutors to teach him history, art, music and literature when he was young. He looked like a very decent man in her opinion.

Ellana pressed the elevator button to the eight-floor holding her notes tightly. His office was next to the Ancient History Archives and she kept thinking about what she needed to tell him about the individual projects they had discussed in class last time.

She finally left the elevator when the door opened and she came across a perfect silence that felt both soothing and eerie. She looked at her notes again,  _Room 804_ , and walked at the corridor silently. A large glass door leading to a sort of waiting room with leather sofas was the place she needed to be. When she entered, though, three doors were waiting for her inside. She looked at the names and finally found the one with the name _Prof. Felix Alexius_ on it knocking lightly and opening before receiving an answer.

Alexius didn’t mind students visiting his office for clarifications or a nice friendly chat and Ellana had really liked that about him.

“Professor Alexius I—“ She stared at the man looking outside the window. It was too late to take it back and leave, though.

“Miss Lavellan.” His voice had that absurd coldness.

“The name on the door—“ She tried to stay quiet but failed. “Fenedhis…”

“Inana mar av, sathan." The words coming from his mouth surprised her.

“Ma dirtha Elven?" Her confusion was only surpassed by her curiosity.

“Vin.” The ancient language had a weird echo when it left his lips, again. The slight difference in his pronunciation made the words feel alive for a language long fragmented and forgotten. “Ahn ma nuven’in?”

He gave away hints of strictness and she took the time to look at him for a few seconds before answering. Those eyes were full of something she couldn’t yet define. Maybe it was well-mannered aversion. Clearly, he wasn’t fond of the Dalish and, as it seemed, he wasn’t fond of her.

“I— Ir abelas. Isn’t this Professor Alexius’s office?”

“No.”

“But the door—“

“Because the door has a name on it, it doesn’t mean it is the one you are seeking, Miss Lavellan.”

Her eyes narrowed to his cryptic sentence. "Fine. Could you tell me where is Professor Alexius’s office, then?"

“Room 812.”

“It wasn’t that hard.” The words escaped her mouth. She really shouldn’t initiate some sort of rivalry between her and a professor whose module she had just taken. But she was stubborn. She wouldn’t change it, again, yet he was free to act as he pleased.

Ellana finally turned around silently and opened the door at once, minding not to hear his answer, whether good or bad. If he wanted war, then she would gladly give him a fine battle he’d never forget.

           

“I’m sorry for not updating the office change, Ellana.” The Tevinter accent echoed in the small room. “Did you have trouble finding me?”

“A little.”

“I hope my colleague was helpful." His weird smile made sure that he wasn’t the most famous person in the University.

“He isn’t likable, is he?”

“If only you were the first to say that.” He gave her another smile and then fixed his glasses. He was young enough to talk to her more casually. “He is rather… picky. I think that’s the word. If not, then a pain in the neck should do.”

She couldn’t keep her grin when his reassurance reached her ears. At least, Ellana was glad the rest around here shared the same feeling. “He’s that bad?”

“You picked his module, right? You’ll tell me.” He fixed his notes and finally crossed his long fingers on top of them. "But you are not here for the good old gossip. Let’s talk about your project, alright?"

“Of course.”

“One last thing, though… good luck.”

That explained everything.

 

Ellana was back to her room after visiting the library and the convenience store. It was a long day indeed and his harsh words were still lingering in her mind, reminding her that she shouldn’t allow herself to get caught into something similar, again. She put away her groceries thinking about tomorrow morning and turned on the TV to cover the silence of her room. After taking a hot shower and preparing her salad, she sat down and watched the news with little interest.

“There was an attack at New Haven this afternoon. Casualties have yet to be confirmed. The annual pilgrimage to the Temple of Sacred Ashes has been cancelled and citizens have been asked to stay inside their homes until further notice. The police have employed a special Templar Unit to investigate the attack. There are sources reporting that a newly formed organization has taken full responsibility of the events. Commander Delrin Barris will give us more information after the break …”

The words stayed in her mind and the report that magic had been involved apart from the explosives, planted there only to cover up the use of forbidden magical practices, gave her a clear idea of what happened outside the Dalish camps. She felt alerted but safe that New Haven was far away from New Amaranthine. Such attacks, where rogue mages were involved, added a new stone to the Human’s wall of doubt for magic. Mages misusing their abilities were dangerous and she knew it.

Ellana placed the salad aside, grabbed her phone and started texting when a knock on her door startled her. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Nevertheless, she fixed her robe, hiding away her shorts and legs and then asked who it was before opening.

“Hey. Sorry for such an unexpected visit. I’m Theron, again. Hi. Marian’s friend? We played at the Merchant’s Guild on Friday.”

“Hi. Yes, I remember you.”

“Yes.”

“Do you need anything?” She tried to hide her surprise.

“Yes. I’m sorry. It isn’t a big deal, though. I just moved here. I got admitted into a training program from Maryden’s Young Artist Foundation. They posted the results later than expected so… here I am. Marian told me you live here as well so… Oh… I’m blabbing about it, aren’t I?” His smile was kind and she noticed that his ears were a bit red. “I just wanted to say hi and maybe ask if you know how to use the washing machine.”

“Welcome to Ameridan’s.” Ellana smiled instead of feeling weird about the sudden encounter. “It’s nice to see more elves around here.”

Theron just smiled, passing a hand through his hair before getting himself to stop acting nervously before her. “For the washing machine, you just have to check the program and then insert the coin. It’s tricky.”

“Really? That explains why I’ve lost two wash’s worth!” He kept smiling more casually now. “Thanks. Ellana, right?”

She nodded at him trying to think what Isabela had told her about him. He was pretty handsome and talented. She could give him that.

“I’ll go grab some beer with some friends from the group. Do you want to come? If you don’t have anything else to do, of course.”

“Oh. I’d love to but it was a really long day. So—“

“Oh… Yes. Another time perhaps? I’m at room 305 if you need anything. See you around!”

He left and she closed the door thinking of how lucky she must have been to have someone, even a friend’s friend, around. It surely made her feel a bit safer but he was still a stranger.

 

The following Monday she caught herself feeling pretty anxious despite her decision to play that little game of his and win. She had made sure to be there on time but that resulted in being half an hour early. The classroom was unlocked and she decided to wait inside. Ellana left her bag on her desk and wandered around, checking the replicas of Halla statues and some of his artefacts lying all over the shelves.

If only he was more student-friendly. That could have been the best module. But no. She knew exactly what would happen today. He seemed too willing to nag her and test her patience. After all, it was his territory.

She left the replicas alone and decided to sit gently onto his desk to take a good look at the campus. Somewhere at the distance Marian was practicing her Fireball moves. She would meet her afterwards for a quick coffee, and with the thought of the sweet hot beverage in front of her, she watched students coming and going fixing her skirt and linen shirt.

“Ma’din emma dhama.” The voice made her stand up from the desk clumsily, bringing some papers lying on it down to the floor. The sound of a quick apology reached his ears with difficulty and she started gathering her mess quickly until a pair of leather shoes stood in front of her.

“Ir abelas…” She murmured, again, trying to gather every single piece of paper from the cold floor. When she finally stood on her feet, she found herself a bit too close to him and took a step back nervously, almost throwing the papers back on the desk.

“In the future, please use your desk for any activity.” His voice, that indifferent and cold noise, vexed her more she expected. Swallowing her words wasn’t easy and she finally returned to her desk, observing the way he put the pieces of paper back into a neat stack. Ellana caught herself examining his hands searching in the leather bag for his books, enjoying the way he moved. The way he placed everything one next to the other in an orderly fashion felt almost ritualistic, and the well-shaped knuckles only gave him an artistic feeling that she couldn’t ignore.

“If you wish to attend more of my lectures, I have to insist on being both punctual and respectful.”

“And if I’m not, professor, are you going to expel me from this module?” She didn’t notice what she had just started.

“I might, if you are not willing to respect the rules of this department.” He said looking at his notes, noticing not how frowned her face was.

“Department rules or  _your_ rules?"

That could easily turn into a fight. It wasn’t her smartest move, but she didn’t mind. He wasn’t old enough to feel like she was being disrespectful to a hahren. How old was he anyway? Mid-thirties? Late? Then why was he behaving like a grumpy old man?

“Let me clarify something, Miss Lavellan.”

She looked at him leaving his desk and moving closer to hers. There was something in the way he walked, the way he moved towards her ready to fight back. He reminded her of— “You are here as a student of the University. A lucky one considering your student status. Your job is to study and pass your exams, not question the staff’s practices.”

He was now in front of her desk, so close that she could see the hidden lines of his face. His lips formed a line of disapproval and his eyes kept warning her about future misdemeanours. “If you wish to be part of this class, I suggest you show respect for both the module and the one teaching it.”

“Am I forbidden to speak my mind, then?” Her big jade eyes were pinned on his cloudy ones.

“I said no such thing, Miss Lavellan. The choice of words is yours. What I am asking is to respect this classroom and behave accordingly.”

“Fine.” She folded her arms on her chest, waiting for the wolf-like gaze to turn away from her.

He added nothing else and turned away to his desk obviously not convinced. If he could look back, he would’ve come across Ellana’s desire to punch him and then leave his module for good.

Sera was right, she thought instead, letting her fists clench the wooden surface of her desk instead of something else.

He was an arse and apparently, he had a problem with her being a Dalish that willed to talk back and defend her clan.

 

Ellana had found out the hard way that Marian had kept talking about, that Mondays were the worst days of the week, was true. His lectures weren’t turning any joyful despite her efforts to keep her tense nerves at bay. She had kept her temper at any cost, swallowing her pride every single time he would say something different from the stories she had grown up with.

It felt odd to listen to him indirectly accusing the Dalish of remembering their History wrong, because that was exactly what he was doing and the rest didn’t seem to either mind or understand that little game between them.

During the previous weeks, he had given their first assignment and she was glad to finish it on time. She wasn’t worried about it, well, maybe a bit, but she was quite confident in her work.

“I’ll be handing your feedback in my office. Room 804, for those who are still confused about its whereabouts.”

After his announcement, she picked her bag and jacket and stood up. However, his voice didn’t let her go far. “A word, Miss Lavellan?”

Oh she had come to hate the way he said ‘Miss Lavellan’ every single time he was about to scold her for something.

"Fine! I’ll be waiting for you at the cafeteria…” Sera whispered and fixed her headphones, minding not to listen to what he had to tell her. Murmuring something bad about him, Sera finally took off, leaving Ellana alone with him.

“Is something the matter, professor?”

“I have your essay here. You will not need to come to my office to collect your feedback, Miss Lavellan.”

“Excuse me?” She asked him confused moving closer to his desk.

“I am willing to give you a chance to rewrite everything and resubmit within two weeks.”

“What?” Her voice was higher, full of anger and confusion. So, he had failed her.

“Second chances are rare in my classes. I suggest you take this opportunity.” His hand gave her the essay. There was nothing marked on it, not even corrections or suggestions.

“What is the meaning of this? Are you failing me without even pointing out my mistakes? Without any feedback?”

“There are no mistakes, Miss Lavellan. Your essay is perfect both grammatically and syntactically. Your ideas, though, are lacking. I have reassured you that if I wished to read Gisharel’s books, I would have gone straight to the library. But I do not want that. I believe you have misunderstood what we are doing in here.”

She tried to keep it together, but, in the end, she failed to keep all those feelings piling up.

“What’s your problem?” She almost yelled at him unable to understand his recent behaviour. “You’ve been cornering and insulting me with every chance since the beginning of this module. It’s only me, though, isn’t it? Is it because I’m a First? A Dalish? An Elf even?”

His mouth didn’t even flinch. Yet his eyes were filled with fury.

“Are you done, Miss Lavellan?” He finally said insisting on her taking her essay back.

“Are you so crass?” Ellana shouted finally pulling her work from his hand. She left from the classroom fast, almost running to the cafeteria to find Sera. She feared that if she had stayed any longer, she would have Firebolted the hell out of him and she would’ve been right to do it.

 

“Whoa! What did his sorry arse say?”

“I can’t believe him! He hates me! He really does! But he gave me a second chance to write my essay! But failed me without even pointing out my mistakes!”

“Yeah… you make no sense… but it happens…” Ellana looked at her angrily. “Fine… he hates you. I told you he crammed up his head a long time ago! I also told you to screw him.”

“But I can’t!” She almost growled. “I hate him!”

“Why not change his stupid module then?”

“It’s too late for that…” She sighed, regretting her choice to keep it.

“Fuck ‘im!” Sera insisted. "If you don’t want to do the stupid essay, just don’t do the friggin essay! If you fail his crappy module just pick a new one next year.”

“Yeah… I guess…”

“Friggin done!” She said the same annoyed as Ellana. “Do you want to go out tonight? Blow off some steam?”

“Creators, yes!”

“Should we go to that place? Merchant’s something something?”

“Yes. A friend’s band will be also playing there tonight.”

“A friend’s or a  _friend’s_?”

“Sera! He’s just a friend… who happens to stay at Ameridan’s as well.”

“A friend and at the same dorm. That makes booty calls easier." She laughed and Ellana tried to shush her. “Angry you is quite amusing!”

“It was just a coincidence!”

“That friend in your pants, won’t be one, though!” She continued and Ellana gave her an irritated look to stop before someone listened to them. “Speaking of pants. There goes Mr. Grumpy Pants.” She pointed behind them at the stairs. Ellana turned cautiously, looking at the Professor going down with his mobile on ear. “I wonder who is crazy enough to call him. I bet he’s too annoying to have friends or… a lady friend!”

Ellana didn’t want to comment on that. Not even think of him— who could stand someone like him?

“Sera! Tonight. Nine o’clock. Okay?”

“Sure, sure. Can I tell a friend as well?”

“Yes.”

“It will be tons of fun!”

 

When she entered the bar, it wasn’t as crowded as last time. Well, she didn’t want to recall that night now. She quickly found Sera sitting around a large table with a man she’d never seen before.

“Hey there!” Sera smiled at her. “Nice!” She complimented her appearance and Ellana down next to the man with the funny moustache.

“I’m Dorian, since Sera won’t make introductions.”

“Ellana.” She smiled at him. He looked fun to hang out. The moustache had that effect.

“So you’re Sera’s friend. She’s talked to me about you. How you hate a specific  _elf_.”

“Sera!” Ellana turned her face to her, trying to make her understand that a stranger didn’t have to know about her doings.

“Don’t feel bad, Ellana. You are neither the first nor the last person to hate his guts. Myself included.”

“Huh? You know him?”

“Unfortunately, I had the pleasure. A friend if you can say. One of those you’d gladly exchange for a pot of gold, a bottle of ale or throw under the bus.”

It was good to know.

“Where did you meet him?”

“Well, let’s say I had to share a room with him while studying. It wasn’t like how you are now. Every single brat having his own bathroom. No offence, dear.”

“Seriously?” Her voice was full of enthusiasm. On the other side of the table Sera was smiling, looking at how Ellana’s face had finally brightened. “Is this your doing?” Ellana looked at her, again, with eyes full of gratefulness.

“Well, it makes you feel better, innit?”      

They all laughed before Dorian spoke.

“I hope I’m not here simply to throw dirt at Solas.”

 _Solas…_  the name echoed weirdly in her ears. She had never used it to address him. A simple and objective ‘professor’ did the job. Or ‘Grumpy Pants’, that was way better.

“Of course not, Dori!” Sera raised her glass. “But, feel free to tell Ellana any story you like. The funny ones first.” She giggled, drinking some more from her glass. “Just tell her that he always had that I-have-a-stick-up-my-arse look! It’ll make her feel better!”

“Of course. That never changes.” He looked at Sera nodding him. “You get used to it eventually…”

“How long did it take you to like him then?” More interesting questions were at the tip of her tongue, but she shouldn’t hurry and pop them all at once.

“Well… Let’s say I’m still trying.”

She laughed, feeling like her problem was going away. “Do you see him often?”

“I see him every fucking day!”

“Why’s that?”

“I was unfortunate enough to rent a flat next to his building. And he has very specific rules about noise after eleven. I can see him from my window.”    

“Come on! Seriously?”

“Is this the face of a man lying?” Dorian pointed at his face and both Ellana and Sera burst into laughter. It was good for a change to make fun of him. “I’m only thankful that he is away most of the day. I had to figure out when he goes to the University and when at the Institute in order to arrange my  _business_.”

“Institute?”

“Institute of Foreign Cultures, I think.” That place suited him more than a bar anyway. “He studies some sort of elven artefact.”

“Not surprising at all…” Sera murmured and had another sip.

 

When Ellana’s drink arrived, they all drank together waiting for Marian to finish work. Theron and his band were still performing and she couldn’t but admire the way he moved on stage.

“So, Ellana, how is the city treating you?” Dorian asked her.

“It’s okay, I guess.” She thought about it a little. “Honestly, I expected it to be worse, you know. Because of these.” She pointed at her ears and Sera laughed loudly to her remark.

“Ah, yes.” He smiled, his moustache moving with his lips. “I know that feeling.”

“But you are human, aren’t you?”

“Forgot to add Tevinter.”

“And creepy Magister!" Sera added. “They are afraid of you, Dori!”

Ellana couldn’t hide her smile.

“And...” Dorian spoke again. “If you add my failed sexual orientation, as my father repeated countlessly, I’d say, I, myself, am a minority as well. An exotic sight!”

“But you are better than those arse-biscuits!” Sera added with another smile.

Finding out about Dorian’s sexual preferences didn’t bother her. But she imagined that humans really considered that a big deal.

“Of course I am! Better than anyone and, don’t forget, even more handsome!”

Ellana agreed to that. He must’ve been the most likable Human (Tevinter) Mage she’d ever met. After Marian of course.

“Back home,” She started. “I am a sort of celebrity myself…”

“Is that so?" His moustache danced again.

“Yes. But not the kind you have here. It’s more of a responsibility rather than a simple title.”

“I think I know what you’re talking about!” He murmured trying to remember. "You are a First, soon to be Keeper, right?"

“Bingo.”

“My friend,” his eyes were sparkling “I think we need more drinks!”

           

After some rounds, Marian joined the three of them along with a rather familiar Dwarven face. Ellana was sure she knew him from somewhere but she couldn’t remember.

“Varric!” Dorian exclaimed when they joined them.

“If it’s not my favourite Magister!” He joked. “How have you been, Sparkler?”

“You know. Scaring people and stuff.”

“Varric?” Marian interrupted them with a little gesture. “This is my friend, Ellana.”

“A Dalish like Daisy? Nice to meet you.” His voice echoed nicely in Ellana’s ears.

“Nice— Wait! You are that writer!” She exclaimed excitedly when she finally recalled his face. “Hard in Hightown with Donnen Brennokovic?”

“Someone has been reading in her free time!” He was pleased that his books had ended up even at an isolated Dalish camp. At least he imagined that.

“It’s a funny story. How one of your books ended up in our camp! Clan Lavellan is usually open to human travellers who want supplies and a place to sleep at night. So, one night, a man came over, so famished that he ate one third of our supplies. When he realised it, he offered our Keeper your book in exchange. Food for thought, he’d said and since then everyone in the clan has been borrowing it from our clan’s library to find out what it was about.”

“Food for thought?” Varric shouted. “That was a good one! Did you get a name?”

She nodded negatively. If she told her clan she had met Varric Tethras in person, they would be thrilled.

Being surrounded by so many different people wasn’t that bad after all. And definitely the presence of Varric, a dwarf, and Sera, another elf, made her feel more comfortable than two months ago.

“Ellana,” Varric attracted her attention. “I’ll have a little party for my birthday in two weeks. You are welcome to come if you like.”

“I— Thank you. But I won’t know anybody…”

“Don’t be silly!” Marian gave her a little hug sitting next to her. “You already know us! Plus, our party boy!”

“Seriously, Hawke?” Varric complained. “Party boy?”

“It’ll be a good opportunity to meet some new people.” Marian continued.

“Where will it take place?” Ellana had forgotten to ask.

“My bar! Nine o’clock.”

“You own a bar? Where?”

“Right here!” He gave her the brightest of smiles. Well, that could explain why Marian goofed around while working.

“You know Josephine from the secretary’s, right?”

Ellana nodded.

“She’ll also come.”

“How do you know all these people, exactly?” Ellana wondered looking at Varric’s beardless face.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m cooperating with the Department of Business Administration and Marketing. It gives you certain connections.”

“In our University?”

“Of course. I’m sure they want me for the gold rather than the skills, though. Yes. Definitely that!”

“Thank you so much for the invitation. I’ll really try to make it. I have that stupid essay I have to rewrite…”

“Chuckles!” Sera almost yelled at Varric and he gave Ellana the I-am-deeply-sorry look. 

“Chuckles?” She looked at them.

“Yes. Chuckles is the pain of the History Department.”

“You know him as well?”

“Well, he was Sparkler’s roommate when I met them. So, it was rather inevitable. Does he still hold a grudge about that prank?”

“Like he ever forgets!” Dorian’s voice hinted at some great scheme that would definitely be a great story for another day. “You were on good terms with him. Have you kept any contact?”

“He came by the bar one night. Not sure when exactly." Varric replied making Ellana feel that the next line would be _"He’s coming, too"._

“He? Has a social life? A bar? What kind of Lyrium did he take this time?”

“Well, everyone needs a good drink once in a while. Some conversation, too. Chuckles may seem like a big scary dog, but he’s quite enjoyable if you know how to handle him.”

Sera was looking at Ellana the whole time, confirming that there was surely an invitation for him as well. He was the last person she would like to see at a night out. It wasn’t her decision to make, though.

 _A big scary dog_ …

That reminded her of someone…

Well… Shit…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt like Solas should be around 35-38!  
> Thank you so much for the Kudos on the first chapter! :3
> 
> Fenedhis: Crap (I prefer that to some other more vulgar translations)  
> Inana mar av, sathan: Watch your tongue/words, please  
> Ma dirtha Elven?: You speak Elven?  
> Vin: Yes  
> Ma’din emma dhama: You shouldn't sit there  
> Ahn ma nuven’in: What do you need?  
> Ir abelas: I'm sorry
> 
> This is an updated version of Chapter 2 :D


	3. The Place Where the Sky was Held Back

Ellana had to find herself in the Fade for over two months.

That was exactly how long she was away from her camp. But that night, after returning from Varric’s bar, one of the four he owned around the city, her mind felt at ease. Making friends was always what she wanted but never was able to do.

Back in her clan, she had grown up isolated from the rest of the children. Playing and going for hunting wasn’t part of her job description. It was nice for a change and she had really come to like Sera and Marian’s friends. For a moment, Ellana wondered what sort of people she would have the pleasure to meet at the party. Preferably not that specific  _one_.

Her dreams made her forget about it. The endless forests of the Free Marches chased away dreariness at once.

The next day was also quiet. She attended her classes, had lunch, and finally visited the library for material on Elven History. She returned to her room in the afternoon, carrying four heavy tomes on Arlathan and the Elven Pantheon. When she was comfortable in her pajamas, she placed the books next to her laptop and finally picked the essay from her envelope.

She read it once, twice, thrice... She really thought it was good enough. An average mark would do if he didn’t want to give her more. The ideas were good and she had numerous sources but… He wanted her to rewrite it, not correct some parts that might have been weak or inconsistent.

It was infuriating. Like she didn’t have other essays to write and material to read for the rest of her classes.

She read it again, making minor adjustments here and there. Picking Fen’Harel wasn’t a good idea after all. She should have taken the hint that he didn’t care for her opinion on the matter. But there wasn’t something more to be said since sticking it to him had become a priority.

“That’s it!” She suddenly exclaimed. “It’s like he’s asking me to cheat!”

She quickly opened her browser and searched for historical sites including the words elven, elven gods and Dread Wolf. The truth was that if he had suspected even in the slightest what she could do, it would be a major problem. Hopefully, he just hated her guts and that was it!

She quickly found a list of places that contained the words she had typed, both Elven gods and the Dread Wolf…

“Fenedhis!” She leaned back on her chair disappointed by what she’d seen on the screen.

The nearest place having to do with Fen’Harel was the Temple of Mythal, which she couldn’t even visit because the tickets were limited and too expensive for her to buy.

Then again… there was a place that held elven artefacts in the mountains. A museum of some sort inside an old fortress.

She wondered if it was worth it. To plan such a trip for a stupid essay might seem absurd. Her  _gift_  shouldn’t be used for personal benefit either. More importantly, that specific talent shouldn’t be used at all! She would be vulnerable to demons if she entered the Fade at will. A Dreamer like her knew the risks.

She quickly picked her phone and called Marian without giving much thought to it.

“Hey there.”

“Hi.” She tried to find the correct words. “Have you ever been to Skyhold?”

“What? I don’t think so—“ She yawned a little. “Is it that castle up west?”

“Yes. Somewhere in the Frostback Mountains. It’s one and a half hours to Emprise Du Lion by plane and one hour from there by bus."

“And why are you telling me all these, Ellana?”

“I was thinking—“ She hesitated a little trying to evaluate her decision. _Crap_! “Going to the Castle for the weekend. It’s a museum actually. It won’t cost much. The tickets include accommodation at the Castle’s inn. So—“

“Is this a proposal?”

“I guess it is… I just thought—“

“That you’d like some company, right?”

“Yes… but it’s— I’m not—“ She felt a bit embarrassed. Maybe it was a bit soon to invite a new friend to a trip.

“So, when are we flying?” Her voice had something sweet.

“You are coming? You don’t have to if you don’t want to!” Ellana felt the need to say that.

“But I want. Some fresh air will do some good, right? I’m not the museum type but I’d love to try the local drinks!” Ellana heard her laughing a bit before yawning again. “We are friends now, Ellana. You don’t have to feel bad inviting me to do stuff.”

“Okay.” She smiled at her phone and after some more chatting they hung up. Ellana quickly turned to her laptop and searched for tickets to Emprise Du Lion. Luckily, their student discount was a god-sent gift, so they wouldn’t have to cancel it because it was too expensive.

She didn’t want to spent her scholarship money on silly things, but this one should be worth it.

 

The next day she found Marian at the empty cafeteria on the fourth floor in order to plan their trip. She could see that Ellana’s face was way too excited, so she was pleased that she’d agreed to go.

It was good that there were buses leaving from EDL Airport directly to Skyhold.

“It’ll be an adventure!” Marian had a sip from her coffee. “But I have to ask. Why go that far so suddenly for just a castle?”

“Well…” Ellana spoke lowly. “I want to do some research. The essay…”

“Ah. That specific essay?” Ellana leaned back on her chair bringing her coffee to her lips.

“It’s just— I need to—“

“Stick it to the man?”

“No!” She insisted at first. "Well, yes! But it will be a nice trip. Don’t you think? Please tell me that it will!”

“Chill, Ellana. I’m messing with you a little. I think it will be nice to go. I read that Skyhold was built on ancient elven ground and the magic has seep into the stone. As a mage, I’m intrigued to see if what they say is true.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to.”

She knew she didn’t but it was coming naturally. “So, do you think it will be cold up there?”

“Like hell it will!” Marian remarked and they both burst into laughter.

 

* * *

Ellana found herself at EDL Airport along with a fully clothed Marian next to her.

“Look at it!” Marian was overexcited when little snowflakes started landing on their coats. Ellana could tell by the way she had grabbed her phone to take photos of the airport turning white.

“I hope the streets are open.” Ellana murmured a little concerned and Marian took a photo of her to make her snap out of the fears of unfortunate travelling events.

“You worry too much! Just enjoy it! It’s like a mini vacation! I was so busy the past few years that I’d forgotten how it is to go on a trip with friends!”

After some minutes, they moved towards the buses for their one-hour drive to the old Castle. Ellana could feel the difference. Her heart was restless. She hadn’t been that excited since… she couldn’t really remember.

She started braiding her hair while Marian was snoring next to her. The reasons she had decided to act so impulsively swirled in her mind. An essay wasn’t the actual reason. Questioning her beliefs, though, definitely was. She never cared to question the ancient knowledge of the past. But now, one of her kin had placed a little doubt in her heart.

She kept looking outside as snow was falling on the hills. She liked it. Not like Marian did, but she enjoyed the way everything was covered by a thin layer of white. Finally, she decided to listen to some music until they reached their destination. The combination of the engine roaring and the slow melody made her yawn and after a while she was sleeping next to Marian peacefully.

 

“It’s amazing! Look at it!” Marian grabbed Ellana’s arm, excited by the magnificent view.

“It’s better than the pictures.” Ellana tried not to drop her gloves on the snowy courtyard. There were people there, cleaning the rocky stairs that led to the upper yard. Both of them moved carefully, watching their every step and finally saw the old inn ahead.

“I hope they serve something strong enough to warm us!”

“Some tea would be nice.” Ellana wondered receiving Marian’s weird gaze at once. “I’m not drinking alcohol, again! Do you want me running around naked or something?”

“Nobody wants that.”

When they reached the old wooden inn, the warmth from the fireplace relieved their frozen bodies. At the reception, they were greeted by an old woman with pointy ears and Ellana, feeling more comfortable talking to one of her kin, spoke first.

“We have a reservation to the name Lavellan.”

“Lavellan?” Her old eyes examined her face. “Let me check, da’len.”

Something about the woman’s voice reminded her of her mother. She wondered when she’d be able to visit her. “One room, two guests. Room 208. Second floor. Take the stairs.”

Ellana nodded and the woman finally gave her their key. They took their bags and walked upstairs using the large wooden staircase. The smell of smoked oak and cedar wood made the place cosier and with every step, Ellana felt really proud for her decision to visit.

Maybe that was exactly what she needed in order to clear all worries from her mind. They walked towards their room when she caught a figure with the corner of her eye. A fellow traveler perhaps with a big rounded hat.

And then he disappeared.

 

* * *

 "So…" Varric’s voice echoed in the crowded bar. "What exactly are  _you_  doing here, again? We don’t actually serve tea after five on a night like this!”

“Is it wrong to have a drink once in a while, Mister Tethras?” His voice remained calm, maintaining that cool remoteness he had during his lectures.

“No. But… Come on! It’s  _you_!”

“I should note that I detest tea. So, surely, I am not here for that.”

“Then?” Varric examined his pale face trying to understand what was going on behind it.

“I may enjoy the comfort of my own home, but that does not mean one does not feel the need to socialise once in a while.”

“You’re feeling lonely, Chuckles?”

“Lonely is a term I would not use for myself, Mister Tethras. Indeed, I have a lot of friends.”

“Well, then, name one that actually has a body and can have shots!” His voice hid enthusiasm and worry at the same time. Of course the man in front of him was a difficult and, at times weird, person. He preferred spending his time in the Fade, making friends with spirits instead of real, fleshy people.

“Since when friendship demands the existence of a body? Is it not the soul you befriend rather than the flesh? Have things changed so much?” A short smile appeared on his face and then a sudden chuckle when he realised what Varric was thinking.

“So, Chuckles,” He paused a little before letting it out. “Since your friends are spirits, I was wondering, do you also have a lady friend there? Are there girl spirits?”

The absurdity of the question made him chuckle, again. Oh how he enjoyed listening to them asking questions like that. They thought too much of carnal desire that they forgot the need to satisfy the mind. He caught himself thinking about it a lot. Yet, there he was, at a bar, crowded by young people dancing and drinking.

“If I say yes, will it satisfy your curiosity?” His look was a sly declaration that he was aware of what they were gossiping.

“Well, it will surely please some ears.” He raised his glass to his lips.

“Are you referring to Sera?”

“Maker, no. She already thinks you do naughty things in the Fade.” He made him chuckle, again. Varric’s nicknames always suited the holder.

A few minutes passed with Varric waiting for him to ask. He didn’t though. “Aren’t you a little curious to know who popped the question this time?”

“Will it make a difference?”

“I suppose… not?" He looked at the crowd when a woman about his height came towards them. She looked pretty, with brown hair that reached her shoulders and chocolate brown eyes. “Excuse me, Chuckles.” He nodded moving closer to the woman. Her smile made Varric grin and before leaving with her he turned around “It’s good, once in a while, to have a  _fleshier_  company.”

Solas only nodded before losing Varric from sight. He seemed weirdly pleased for a man of his composure. But he knew who was Varric’s company so he didn’t add anything else.

He looked around for a while, listening to the awful music. He was already a fish out of water in there. He didn’t use to hang out at places like that. Well, he didn’t use to even ‘hang out’.

The Fade was an easier place to have a conversation. Away from distractions and responsibilities that never seemed to end.

He tried to move through the crowd, towards the door that led outside. His phone was ringing on his palm when he finally managed to find himself away from the annoying noises. He looked at it and his long fingers finally reached for the green button.

“Abelas?” He murmured and his voice cracked at the end.

 

* * *

Their day had begun with a tour of the throne room, the Undercroft and the quarters. They had done a good job restoring and preserving the whole thing. That shown by the number of guests it had during spring, according to the tour guide.

The Castle was huge and Ellana was still trying to figure out how the hell she could  _dream_  in there. Apparently, the inn was far too noisy for her to concentrate. She wasn’t even sure that she’d find anything but the magic on the stone was indeed strong.

The leaflet with the story of Skyhold through the ages said that there was an ancient Elven sight underneath. She could actually feel it. The leftovers of a great magic lingered on her skin every time they walked into a different room.

The tour guide, a man named Banon, led them through a door that revealed a circular room, a rotunda of sorts. It was the last room they had to visit. He started speaking but Ellana was so fascinated by the paintings that she didn’t hear the beginning.

“… On the medium and method, it is elven fresco, pigment and plaster, and it is grand. We have rarely been privileged to observe such skill as it is applied. It is considered, with long periods of study before the image emerges, whole cloth and with certainty. It speaks of how elves viewed the world, and the measured nature of their step.”

She tried to move closer to the fresco and look closely at the different things depicted on each side.

“Who’s the artist?” Ellana asked the guide without leaving the murals from her sight.

“I’m sorry. The artist’s name has never been found. Though, it is strongly suggested that due to the age of the Castle it should have been an elven painter.”

She examined carefully every single one. One depicted two elven figures. Above them two spheres, one yellow, one blue. There was also something that reminded her of a person wearing a dress made of blue flames.

“What about this one?” Someone else asked and the tour guide turned his attention to an unfinished piece behind them.

“Not much can be said about that. It is the final piece but the artist never completed it. The lines reveal the figure of a wolf, a sword and something that may or may not be a leg. The Restoration Community has tried to determine what it is, but for the time it remains quite vague. It’s up to you to decide.”

“A dragon…” Ellana murmured. She was quite sure that this wasn’t a boot or leg for sure. 

_Shemlens…_

“Did you say anything, Miss?”

“Yes. Could it be a dragon?” She said again feeling everyone’s eyes on her, Marian’s included.

“A dragon?” He looked at it again. “It could be. Yes. But samples of elven dragon depictions vary a lot from this one. It’s an excellent guess, though!”

No. She was sure it was a dragon! Of course, there was a connection here. Again! The wolf and the dragon… Fen’Harel and Mythal… But how could it? The goddess of Justice and the god of Betrayal?

She had read everything about the wolf statue found at the Temple of Mythal. One of the researchers, a woman named Morrigan something, had said that putting a statue of the Dread Wolf there was like depicting Andraste naked in the Chantry!

So, what was the meaning?

Just by looking around she felt that there were secrets floating, lingering all over the place. Yes! That was the perfect spot for a Dreamer. The only problem was how she’d manage to sneak past the guard and just lie down and fall sleep.

“If there aren’t any questions, we should move to the Garden.”

“Can we take photos?” Marian asked the forbidden question and the man pointed at the sign with the don’ts on the wall. “Fine… we’ll pay for a postcard at the gift shop.” She murmured at Ellana who was still absorbed by the sight of the unfinished mural.

Marian tried to distract her but it was pointless. Instead, she tried to see what had fascinated her so much.

It was the painting of the wolf.

 

“So, you want to sneak past the guards, in a room which is probably well-guarded in order to take a little beauty nap?”

“Yes, if you put it that way…”

“Ellana?” Her voice made her a bit intimidating. “What are you not telling me? Why did we come here? The truth.”

“It’s… Fenedhis!” She couldn’t keep her secret. “You know how mages need the aid of Lyrium to enter the Fade? Well, I don’t...”

“No. Fucking. Way!”

“Well… nobody else knows about it. Well, except for my Keeper.”

“I— Come on!” She grabbed her shoulders. “You’re not joking, are you? You can enter the Fade at will? Then what? Can you shape it?”

“Marian!” She complained because obviously her voice was an octave higher.

“Sorry! But this is… huge! I once met a half-elf who could do that. He could shape the Fade at will, Ellana! It is a very rare ability. Ancient.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t do that…” She felt bad to disappoint her. “But I can see what happened in the past, if I know where to look…  there are echoes, lingering, waiting for someone to listen to them. So, please. You have to keep it a secret.”        

“I understand." Her voice was sincere. “I shouldn’t have asked.” She cracked her another smile before getting a little more serious. “But why the sudden interest in elven murals?”

“I think I’m starting to question my clan’s beliefs.”

“And that’s bad?”

“For a soon-to-be Keeper… the worst.”

“Right… What is the plan then? We can’t just Firebolt them! Unless, you know, you are feeling like turning into a villain any time soon.”

“Marian!”

“Alright.”

“Do you know how to cast any sort of invisibility spell?” Ellana sat on her bed thinking of her options. 

_Fenedhis…_  

If they caught her they would report her back to the Office of Foreign Affairs. Maybe expel her or even send her back home. Who knew? She was never good at taking risks, though, and that sudden need to break the rules, despite fascinating, was terrifying.

“No. But I have something better." Her face lit up a bit mischievously, though.

 

When it was dark, they both found themselves walking on the other side of the Castle. Marian was sure she’d seen a wooden bridge connecting the outer wall with the tower.

There weren’t any guards on the walls, but they pretended walking silently, enjoying the cold weather until they finally found what they were looking. The maintenance bridge was there along with the guard.

“I will distract him. You go in. How difficult can it be?” Marian whispered in Ellana’s ear, leaving her behind before the guard turned around and saw them both. Ellana hid behind the sort wall, waiting for Marian’s next brilliant move.

It was a bad idea. But it made her feel excited.

“Hi. I’m searching for the Mage Tower. Is it around here or I just confused it again?”

Her new girlish voice made Ellana want to giggle. The guard said something but Marian insisted. “You don’t expect me to go there alone. It’s dark! Could you at least show me the way? Please?”

She didn’t hear what else she’d said to the guard, but it was working. Ellana slid on the bridge carefully, watching her step. There was a wooden door there but it was locked.

So, she did what she thought best at that time. She placed her hand on the knob and let her magic do the rest. The door finally opened with a creepy noise and she tried to shut it in a less noisy manner before moving to the opening in front of her.

The murals were two floors down and she silently located the stairs walking on the tips of her toes. Nobody seemed to be there and the door to the throne room was shut.

She came across numerous shelves with books and dared to move closer. They smelt and seemed old and she used her magic, a tiny blue flame that appeared on her palm to show her the way. On her left, there was an old armchair which seemed like a good place to sit and ‘take a nap’. She carefully got as comfortable as she could and surrounded by the two huge shelves on each side, she left the blue flame wither.

Whatever secrets lied under the stone would be discovered very soon, she thought. She had little time and tried to relax.

Then she was in.

           

_Where? It feels… cold. Familiar… Magic…_

Ellana opened her eyes and saw the night sky through the old window. When she turned around she thought she must’ve been in the kitchen. There were voices, moans to be more precise, and when she looked around she found herself looking at huge bronze pots. She was startled, at first. Someone was there, somewhere outside.

She tried to locate the stairs and after some seconds she found herself in the majestic throne room. It looked really old. However, not as old as she would like. She came across an old man sitting on the throne, hands crossed and eyes pinned on another man chained in front of him. He was passing judgement on his soul and she moved closer, observing the chained… elf? He looked tired, yet there was a weird look on his face.

She tried to listen, to find out a name but the words were a sound of mingled noises. She closed her eyes again, pushing herself to pierce deeper into the veil of history. When she finally walked towards the huge door, her eyes shut and it felt like a gentle aura suddenly engulfed hers. It felt warm and the voices somewhere out there were pleasant to her ears.

_Songs?_

When she found the courage to open them, she was staring at the courtyard. The sun was bright. Maybe too bright for her eyes and she made a step back. Fear suddenly surged through her body.

_The sky!_   She thought unable to process what she was witnessing.

"The sky is green!"

The words left her mouth as a curse that shouldn’t be said out loud. She moved outside, afraid of what she would come across. Every step towards the courtyard felt unbearable. There was magic everywhere. It was as if she could hear it sing, whisper in her ears like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"What?"

A sudden voice forced her to turn around and look at its source. There was a figure, thin and bodiless, floating above the ground. “A demon?”

The figure didn’t answer but continued humming something that Ellana couldn’t understand. It was something that despite being incomprehensible, carried the rhythm of unbearable sorrow. She tried to move closer and ask again, but when she did the figure vanished into thin air.

She quickly decided to go back to the room with the murals. If her dream could give her answers, they were definitely there. Her steps were quick and when she walked into the rotunda she realised that the murals were not the same. She had sensed that strange magic when she’d arrived.

It had felt like Veilfire. A memory that still lingered but was no longer present. She moved to the murals cautiously when—

“Fen’Harel…"

The word made her lips hurt. There weren’t multiple murals. Only one. A man with a black wolf’s head. A mage holding a wooden staff casting some sort of spell to three elves in front of him. The image felt strange. How could such a thing exist without anyone noticing? Her mind tried to find an explanation. None was adequate, though. Behind the wolf figure there were two elves with faces free of vallaslin.

_Was that some sort of ritual? A hint? Something lost through the centuries?_

The questions made her head hurt. Why was the Dread Wolf removing vallaslin? An insult to the gods? Was he trying—

_What was he trying to do?_

She knew well that the vallaslin honoured their gods. But the Dread Wolf? No vallaslin existed to show the People’s honour to him. And if they existed, they were forgotten after the Great Betrayal. Ellana dared to touch the dried paint, triggering a voice whispering in the darkness.

“Who’s there?” She quickly retreated “Can you hear me?”

No-one appeared, but she could now understand what the whispers said.

“Mala… revas… Ar… lasa… mala… revas…”

It didn’t make any sense.

“What do you mean?" She shouted. “Spirit? Who is free?” She tried to look around, but nothing stood under the fading light of the torches. “Answer me!”

She gave up eventually, her eyes turning to the wolf. She was sure. It was the Dread Wolf…

She was trying to understand when the stone shook under her feet. She panicked and ran towards the wooden door, finding herself outside the Castle. There was something happening. A loud noise and then… the Sky… Parting, clearing. Something in the sky was absorbing it.

“Stop it!” She tried to cover her ears. The voices were screaming. They were in pain.

She started running towards the Tower, turning right and trying not to fall. There was something at the balcony where the quarters were. A green beam and someone standing there. She couldn’t see them clearly. It was too bright for her to handle. She pushed herself to stay conscious, running towards the edge of the wall to see what was happening.

And then she saw it.

What nobody had witnessed for thousands of years.

What every Keeper desired to discover and what marked the beginning of the silent ages that had to come…

It was him, the Dread Wolf, standing at the balcony with his wooden staff, his head covered by a black hood that resembled a wolf’s head with red eyes, looking up as the sky was held back.

 

***

“Ellana, can you at least tell me what you saw?” Marian spoke worriedly. “You are making me worry. Please!”

“I don’t want to talk…” There was distress in her voice.

“Was it that bad?” She tried to pull the blanket from her head.

“It was a nightmare.” She resisted, finding comfort under the covers. For once in her life she couldn’t think. Her body felt like it was paralysed and it was a miracle she had returned to their room without getting caught.

Marian was waiting for her there. She was the first to witness the terror drawn on Ellana’s face. So, nightmare pretty much summarised her trip into the Fade.

“If you don’t talk to me, I can’t help you, Ellana!” She spoke again and after a long hour of Marian’s attempts to make her talk, Ellana broke.

“How would you feel if you saw your People’s greatest adversary?”

“Oh…”

“I thought so.” Her eyes were full of anger. It wasn’t Marian’s fault, though. “I’m sorry. It was just… too much. I— can’t…”

“You don’t have to apologise… I think I owe you an apology, instead.” She turned her head away from Ellana.

“No. I’m sorry—“ She finally lowered her blanket. “It’s just too much, Marian. Too much to understand. To see. To listen. Everything is just too—“

She suddenly found herself between Marian’s arms. She held her tightly, until Ellana could feel her heart beating fast.

“Marian—“

“I’m so sorry, Ellana. We shouldn’t have come here. This place… this place feels wrong—“

 

They talked and laughed and shared their greatest fears.

And despite knowing each other for so little, it felt like they could trust each other more than they thought. Marian asked nothing else about her dream. Ellana would tell her when she’d figure out what it meant.

For the time, she had to keep it inside.

Not even her Keeper, or her mother, or any other Dalish should know what she’d witnessed. There was a sorrow growing inside her. One that had always been there but never felt real.

Now it was.

The Fade could reveal such truths.

Truths that nobody searched for, not because they couldn’t but because they were afraid of the discovery.

Nevertheless, the first was also true. Not many could do what she could. They just walked in the Fade, seeing only tiny pieces of what remained. But now she had seen what it was.

If it wasn’t for that stupid class, then she would be lying peacefully on her bed. It was like he had pushed her towards the discovery of pieces of history that even memory had forsaken.

Did he know? Was it possible for him to have answers? No. It didn’t seem possible. He was an elf, though, and that filled her head with more questions.

After some hours, she was finally able to sleep. She found herself inside a soothing darkness that emptied her mind and made her fears seem small. It was actually good for her because the next morning she was a lot better. Both of them were.

They packed their bags and headed to the garden for one last cup of coffee before leaving.

“Does it snow back home?” Ellana asked Marian, looking at how the snowflakes danced in the wind.

“Sometimes.” She folded her hands under her chin. “It rains a lot, though.”

“I’ve noticed.” She copied Marian and when she realised it, they both laughed.

“So…” Marian’s voice was rather playful this time. “About what you said yesterday.” Her eyes locked on Ellana’s face.

“It’s not a big deal.” She murmured feeling a bit embarrassed that she hadn’t let it go.

“Of course it is! Wait for Isabela to find out.”

“No!” She could feel her ears getting warmer and then started picking on her napkin, tearing it into smaller pieces.

“Just joking a little.” Her usual smile had returned on her face. But that didn’t stop Ellana from feeling the way she did. “I find it rather sweet. But— you know it’s also impossible, right?"

“Of course I know that. It’s just— Creators! You won’t let that go so easily, will you?"

“Well, it’s a bad thing my memory never deceives me.” She chuckled but stopped when the waiter brought their coffees. When he left, though, she continued looking at Ellana with that same look that meant only one thing. “For the record, I’d like to add that he’s a stranger and you were drunk. And as an older friend I’ll have to add that because he was a stranger at the back of a bar you have to consider some things. However, I think it’s sooo sweet that you’re still thinking about it!”

“I’m not thinking about it that much! It was just a nice… experience. That’s all. I just said it—“

“Because you felt something!” She smiled again. “Isabela talked to me about… you know.”

“And now it’s getting weird…”

“All I wanted to say is that if you need someone to talk —“ She suddenly stopped. “Shit! I sound like Cassandra!”

“Cassandra?” She asked instead.

“You’ll meet her at the party. You’ll notice her at once. She’ll be the one scolding you about poor life choices and cheap alcohol.”

She finally saw her laughing. “Who does such things at a party taking place at a bar?’”

“Well, someone who used to work at Divine Justinia’s personal guard, perhaps?”

“Not anymore?”

“No. She does something far worse, now.” This time she was serious.

“Meaning?” Ellana couldn’t keep her curiosity.

“She’s an Inspector at the New Amaranthine Police Department…”

“Ah…”

 

“Bye-bye creepy Castle! You won’t be missed!” Marian’s words before their bus left made her think about the dream. However, she was in such a good mood that her thoughts didn’t affect her.

One of the side effects of that good mood, though, was that Marian was exceptionally chatty during their way to the airport and that seemed to have bothered a specific individual who kept ‘tsking’ when she spoke. When it finally started bothering Marian, instead, Ellana thought it was amusing.

“A weirdo at the back…” She whispered at Ellana, who had already started thinking a fight would be something inevitable.

Luckily for her, they reached the airport without an incident. But that didn’t prevent the unfortunate things from happening. Their flight wouldn’t leave for another 14 hours due to bad weather and Ellana had already started thinking how she could be home soon enough in order not to be late for Grumpy Pants’ class. At least, Sera’s nickname instantly put a smile on her face.

She was waiting patiently at the cafeteria, listening to music, when Marian finally returned from the Information Desk.

“I swear I’ll strangle him and then we’ll say hello to the Gallows!”

“Did I miss anything?" Ellana quickly removed her earphones, trying to interpret her sudden behaviour.

“I came across that annoying guy from the bus. Seems we are both flying to New Amaranthine!”

“And?”

“And we argued pretty badly at the Information Desk.” She quickly sat down, folding her arms on her chest angrily.

“About?”

“He said I didn’t let him sleep in the bus because I was too loud and that I should sit down and wait for my flight to depart like a nice little girl! Can you believe that guy?” Her voice pierced Ellana’s ears. The stranger was partially right. She kept smiling, though. “If only I could turn him into a slimy frog.”

“Well that would have certain consequences.”

“For instance?” She tried to chat in order to forget about that jerk.

“Only the Witch of the Wilds did such—“

“I know the story!” She complained. “But I wouldn’t mind turning into one if I could turn those pissing me off into nasty frogs. Think of the applications for the greater good!”

“That could save us from the trouble…”

“What?” She turned around surprised by the new voice. Ellana tried to see who had spoken but Marian stood up hastily, preventing her. “Are you stalking me now?”

“Of course not.” His voice was a deep husky noise in their ears. Then he added something else that Ellana didn’t hear. Unfortunately, Marian did and that made her raise her hand towards him. "A mage." He moved away from her towards the empty seats. "Why am I not surprised?"

“Do you have a problem with mages?” She shouted and small flames sprang from her palm.

“Marian? I think—“ Ellana tried to distract her but…

“Are you going to burn me down… mage?”

“That’s it!" She started moving towards the man in the black pants, grey T-shirt and black leather jacket. Well, he looked like a delinquent, so…

“Marian!” Ellana tried again, grabbing her arm before casting a spell. “Let it go!” She insisted looking at the airport guard glancing at them.

“Listen to your friend.” He spoke again, his green eyes looking at Marian full of indifference.

She calmed down after Ellana pointed at the guard’s awareness of magic and finally sat down, staring at the stranger sitting behind them.

“Jackass…” Marian murmured folding her arms on her chest, eyes full of disapproval.

“Well...” Ellana sat opposite to her, relieved that the guard had turned away from them. “Do you want a snack? Some water?”

“A knife?” She was still annoyed and kept staring at that pair of tense eyes opposite to her. Something about that guy felt weird. Maybe it was the brooding face, or the strange marks on his skin.

“Alright. Something less dangerous and more edible then…”

 

Marian finally left the stranger alone when her eyes felt heavy. It was already ten thirty and their flight was leaving at six thirty in the morning. Eight and a half hours to go. Ellana stared at Marian for a moment and a smile formed on her lips. She wondered if the man was still there, carrying on with their little staring contest. She didn’t want to find out, though.

She slowly turned on Marian’s tablet and searched for her Department’s online platform. She logged in with her account and searched for  _his_ module.

He had uploaded tons of extra material but luckily for her, she had read most of the bibliography back at her camp. So, she downloaded some of the articles and started reading one after the other for tomorrow’s class.

She was going to be late for sure. At least she should be prepared.

 

Some hours later, Marian was still snoring lightly opposite to her. Ellana had gone through every single thing he had uploaded and now she was taking some notes for her essay.

One week left and she hadn’t written anything new. She had convinced herself to resubmit the same essay only to see the look of great disapproval on his face. That was something.

However, that experience the day before had caused something. A little thing. A doubt…

She thought about it and then pushed the letters gently, forming sentences that echoed strangely in her mind.

Blasphemous even!

 

_— Unnamed Note_

_F.H. = rebel? Mage?_

_Struggle for freedom? Voices. Spirits. Magic._

_New mural, removed vallaslin?_

_Connection Skyhold Castle?_

_A breach in the sky, doing what?_

_Old gods the villains?_

No.

 

_Old gods the…_

 

No. She couldn’t write that down. The Creators weren’t the bad guys. Of course not!

Fen’Harel was…  

Her head hurt.

He was…

“Having trouble concentrating?” A voice suddenly startled her and she almost dropped the tablet on the floor. “Sorry for that.” She heard again, her eyes searching for the person who had spoken.

“It’s okay…”

“Sure?" He appeared next to her, his white hair was a bit tousled from sleeping. She didn’t say anything else, afraid that Marian would wake up and yell at both of them.

Ellana only nodded waiting for him to explain. “I wanted to apologise for my behaviour. This thing was between your friend and I.” He didn’t hesitate to glance at Marian’s face. “I’m Fenris. I’m going to grab some coffee from the machine. Wondered if you needed something.”

“I’m fine. Thanks.” She said lowly, trying hard not to wake her up.

He nodded quite sure that she was being polite in order not to wake her friend up. Then he smiled and started walking away, when she suddenly spoke.

“Ellana.” She paused “And this is Marian.”

“Whom are you talking to?” A whisper attracted her attention and then she faced Marian’s sleepy face.

“No-one.” She tried to smile innocently but Marian’s eyes caught the guy going away from their seats.

“Ellana! What did that guy want? Did he say anything? Bugged you?”

“No!” She looked at her narrowed eyes “He just wanted to apologise.”

“I see!” She said again, her lips a thin line of disapproval. Ellana tried to say something but Marian stood up, her sleepiness fading away.

“Hey you!” She shouted at the man and he only turned around for a second before moving forwards. Ellana saw her chasing after him and yelling something that made him laugh.

She finally focused on her notes, trying to see with what blasphemous thing she’d come up next.

They kept fighting about things that Ellana didn’t even know they had in common. And, of course, that guy, Fenris, had a problem with mages. Marian kept accusing him and Fenris kept responding in a harsher way. It was funny to see them argue, but at some point Ellana felt her head heavy. After saving and sending the notes to her e-mail, she deleted the file and put the tablet aside.

She felt a bit cold and carefully put her coat on her lap. She should at least try to get some sleep because, as it seemed, she would have to go directly to the lecture. She closed her eyes, placing her hands under her coat and then nothing.

 

She felt a hand on her shoulders some hours later.

“Wake up, Ellana. It’s time to go to the gate.”

“It is?" Ellana tried to keep her eyes open and finally managed to wake up and wear her coat. They started walking when she noticed the man sleeping on his seat. “Shouldn’t we wake him up?”

Marian glanced at her, stopping immediately in front of Ellana. She kept looking at her big eyes until she finally gave up. “Fine.” She wasn’t exactly happy to say it. Some hours ago, she was arguing with that man. “You do it.”

She shrugged and then moved towards him.

When she was close, she tried to wake him up by poking his shoulder. She felt him moving and then suddenly found her arm hurting, squeezed between fingers that had acted on their own. The man had grabbed it so fast that she hadn’t realised it until she felt the pain. However, that wasn’t what had surprised her.

The tattoos she’d noticed earlier were glowing a bright blue color. It didn’t take long to open his eyes and Ellana could feel… magic?

But he wasn’t a mage!

When he realised what he had done, he quickly released her hand and Ellana moved back hastily, rubbing her wrist.

His eyes... A solid green look that pierced through her.

Fear? Anger? Something in between.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured and after standing up, he took his bag and left Ellana wondering what had just happened. She walked towards Marian, who seemed not to have noticed the glowing part.

“Weird guy.” Ellana only said when Marian looked at her.

“Told you so!”

 

Their flight was relatively good and an hour and half later they landed at the Airport of New Amaranthine. She only saw the man while disembarking. However, she didn’t give much thought to what had happened. There was a more pressing matter at the moment. They walked together to the exit and found Marian’s car at the long-term parking space.

“Do you want me to drop you at Ameridan’s or directly to  _hell_?” She laughed while unlocking her car.

“Very funny!” She murmured, thinking that she definitely needed a shower. “Ameridan’s. You?”

“I’ll skip practice. I need some sleep because I have a presentation for  _Anatomy and Physiology of Genlocks, Hurlocks and Emissaries_ at two. Maker I hate that module!”

“It sounds delightful. What did we say you study, again?” Ellana joked and Marian drove to the city centre silently. Ellana wished she could skip the first two hours in  _hell_. If only she had that option. Instead, she took a forty-five-minute nap inside Marian’s car before she found herself in front of Ameridan’s.

She left the car in a hurry and rushed to her room for that shower after thanking her friend.

The clock was ticking and she had to be as fast as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is almost done. As always, ma serannas for reading, guys! :3
> 
> Fenedhis: Crap
> 
> This is an updated version of Chapter 3 :D


	4. Winter's Grasp

“You look like shite!” Sera’s words weren’t kind.

Ellana really wanted to sleep! Even five minutes would have been perfect.

She slowly placed her head on her folded arms, ignoring Sera’s comments. Her head filtered every voice as a muffled noise that invited her to fall asleep faster. However, when the door shut with a thud, she leaned back on her chair clumsily, rubbing her tired eyes in order to observe him move towards his desk.

 _New suit…_  She thought still a little hazy.

He said something but she didn’t bother to listen, thinking only how she’d stay awake for two more hours.

 

Solas searched for the books in his old leather bag, organising his thoughts for today’s class. He could see that everyone was present and, as he always demanded, punctual.

He sat down placing his notes and books on his desk and then gave a quick look at his students. 

 _Shemlens…_ Apart from two peculiar faces; one that didn’t give a damn about him and one that… well, one that looked ready to fall asleep right in the middle of his lecture.  

He wouldn’t allow that to happen. He couldn’t overlook it. His steps were silent, like a feline’s that had just found its target, and took his place in front of his desk.

“Before the ages were named or numbered, our people were glorious and eternal and never-changing. They felt no need to rush when life was endless. They worshipped their gods for months at a time. Decisions came after decades of debate, and an introduction could last for years. From time to time, our ancestors would drift into centuries-long slumber, but this was not death, for we know they wandered the Fade in dreams.” He read the passage from his book ever so elegantly. “Mr. Kenric, could you please expand on what Gisharel describes as ‘centuries-long slumber’?”

“Uthenera, I presume?”

“Are you answering or are you asking me, Mr. Kenric?” His eyes examined the face of the young man with the Orlesian clothes. His sense of fashion made Solas miss the days when every student was obliged to wear a uniform. It was simpler to focus on their faces then. Now their clothes attracted more attention than themselves.

“Of course. I’m sorry. It is a possible reference to the term Uthenera, a prolonged slumber practiced by ancient elves.”

“Good.” He gave him a short smile that faded away so quickly that Kenric had missed it. “Could anyone else define Uthenera according to our bibliography?” He examined his class until the girl with the big square glasses in the middle of the room raised her hand. “Yes, Miss Cousland?”

“Hassandriel defines it as an act of reverence. It is translated into ‘the long sleep’ in which an elder would retire to a chamber that was one part bed and one part tomb. The elder performing it would succumb into a slumber that lasted for centuries or, in some cases, forever.”

“Excellent.” His voice didn’t have the same enthusiasm that the word usually conveyed, but the student seemed satisfied with it. “The text, Miss Cousland referenced, was written by one of the last lords of Halamshiral before the events of the Exalted March against the Dales in 2:10-2:20 Glory. It is a commonly accepted belief by the Dalish throughout Thedas. However, such practice is not performed today. The reason?"

“The elves are no longer immortal?” Kenric suddenly added, the word echoing strangely in the room.

“So the practice of Uthenera, Mr. Kenric, was a process that demanded time?” He answered with a question as well. “Where did that infinite amount of time come from, though? Any ideas, Mr. Kenric?”

“It was in their nature, perhaps?” His question echoed weirdly in Solas’ pointy ears. He got the same answer a lot every year during his lectures.

“Then how do you explain the deaths of elves every year?” His eyes locked on Ellana’s sleepy face. She was awfully silent and that bothered him. It was clear that he waited for the right moment, building up something that would eventually force her to speak.

“Evolution, then?” Cousland hurried to answer. "Gisharel talks about the influence of humans over the elven people after their arrival from Par Vollen. If what he suggests justifies the loss of immortality, then their contact with foreign microorganisms responsible for common human diseases made the ancient elves vulnerable. It’s the theory of evolution. Their own bodies fought and lost the battle to adjust to the newly influenced environment, thus, gradually leading them to decay.”

“A well-structured argument, Miss Cousland. But how has ‘bartering and negotiating’ with humans caused the death of an entire civilization? Do you think it is biologically possible to be tainted by the humans’ brash and impatient lives? How something as extraordinary as the ability to live forever, neither age nor die by natural causes, has been influenced so greatly by evolution? Is immortality something science and biology can measure and support with data? Or the answer is rather simple, hiding in plain sight?”

“Plain sight?” Kenric seemed troubled, trying hard to understand the meaning of Solas’ words. “Are you implying that  _magic_  was the source of Elven immortality? An extraordinary force to sustain an extraordinary process?”

That seemed to attract Ellana’s attention and Solas was finally pleased with the turn of their conversation.

“Why not, Mr. Kenric?” He paused before popping the next question, his eyes glancing at Ellana’s green irises with concealed impatience.

“If the texts point out that ancient Elves, not only ancient Elven mages, were able to perform such a ritual, then it means that the gift of magic should have been accessible to everyone!”

“A very good hypothesis, Miss Cousland. Well-done. And that leads us to our next question. Since bacteria and magic are two things which science claims that cannot influence one another, what caused the loss of such a gift?” He slowly closed his book and placed it on his desk without looking. Everyone’s eyes were pinned on his face. “How do you lose something you are born with? Or this was not the case with ancient elves? If we could assume that the ancient world of Arlathan was a world flooded by magic collectively rather than individually, could something stronger than Biology have altered this balance?” He waited for a few seconds, feeling the green irises staring at him. “Considering the essence of the Fade, the high concertation of magic found at one unique place, could the Veil hold the answer to that?”

There was silence. One of those silences that couldn’t be broken with a silly joke of a bad cough.

“What you’re suggesting, professor, is that the Veil is responsible? The Chantry teaches that the Maker created it in order to seal away the demons and abominations roaming the world. But you imply that it is unnatural since an entire civilization demised after its creation? What you suggest contradicts the Chantry’s teachings by far!” Kenric’s voice had started hinting at irritation. Of course, it was and the same applied to the rest of the Andrastians in the room.

“I am aware of that, Mr. Kenric. As everyone in this class is aware of what the Veil is and  _who_  created it. However, if you are willing to let Religion out of the picture for a moment, then what can you see?”

“It’s impossible to let Religion out of the picture, professor!” He insisted and a low murmur was heard accompanying Kenric’s obvious answer.

“Do you think it is impossible to imagine a world where spirits and people could co-exist? Do you think that it is so unlikely? Who determined the essence of spirits? What really is from what it is believed to be?”

“Fear.” The tired voice caused the tip of his lips to move. Solas was waiting for that voice to speak her mind since the beginning of the lecture. “The fear of questioning one’s beliefs of the real world. The fear of being unable to use reason to define it. Such a utopic world, where magic could be as natural as breathing, is too much to handle. The extent of corruption that world would face is immeasurable and, thus, unthinkable.”

“Fear is one of the forces that prevents us from questioning fixed beliefs. Miss Lavellan’s point should make you wonder about the existence of impossible possibilities.” His eyes were full of wonder and a wisdom that Ellana was too tired to comprehend.

“So,” Ellana made a pause, thinking of her words for a few seconds. “if we consider all these, does it mean that the existence of the Veil is a temporal solution to correct this corrupted magical world? And if we omit Religion, then is it possible to assume that the Veil might be a spell, cast by someone with great abilities in order to prevent some sort of destruction? The Maker is nothing more than a powerful Mage?"

“I entertain the possibility, Miss Lavellan. In order faith to exist there must be doubt. However, imagine what that person, casting such a spell, could be.”

“A saviour?”

“No, Miss Lavellan. A spell of such power has consequences.”

“Loss of immortality… Death…” She wondered, her head already hurting.

“Thus, turning the hero into a great adversary, responsible for the demise of an entire civilisation.”

“No!” She suddenly stood up, everyone’s eyes on her bewildered face. “How can you even think about something so blasphemous!”

“Is there a problem, Miss Lavellan?” His voice was calm, though.

“Of course, there is!” She picked her bag for the second time. “I’m too tired listening to your crap about Elven Culture. You are being disrespectful! You try to elevate traitors into something they are apparently not! So, excuse me, but I’ll have to refuse listening to you.” She was angry, he could already see and hear that. But that sudden annoyance made her more attractive. Bewilderment suited her, he thought.

“Fine then, Miss Lavellan. You can leave if you think that our conversation offends you in any way. Or you can just sit down and ignore me.” His eyes followed her every move. He observed the way she put on her jacket and threw her bag on her shoulder.

However, she didn’t leave. She sat down and folded her arms on her chest. Solas had convinced himself to be patient with her. He thought that a Dalish of such potential was wasting her talents. If only he could make her see the point of his lectures.

But no.

She wouldn’t accept something different from what she was taught.

 

Ellana gladly followed his advice. She also followed Sera’s example and put her earphones, making it impossible to hear him talking. Well, that explained why Sera was able to stand two hours without saying a word or complain. It was actually working.  

What she wasn’t able to do, though, was take her angry look away from him. He should have understood by now that she felt something more than annoyance. She was offended and his constant arguments about doubting and offending the Dalish ways wasn’t helping.

Ignoring him was the best thing that had happened in his lecture. She already felt that the shemlens had already disliked her. That or they admired her courage to stand up to their professor. Nobody had done that the way she had. Well, they actually needed to pass the module and she was already flirting with failing.

When the lecture was finally over, he sat back on his chair and took a deep breath. This little rivalry between them had started tiring him a bit. The others must have been gossiping about it, he was sure of it.

The rest of the students left the classroom noisily, but Ellana was still sitting there. She had that same look on her face, the one that meant trouble.

“Miss Lavellan. A word in my office, if you please?” He leaned his body towards his desk, hands falling on the wooden surface. She was still staring.

“What is left to discuss, professor?” She finally relaxed the muscles of her face observing his hands tidying his books.

“Your behaviour.” The words sounded cold in Ellana’s ears. However, she felt so stupid to allow herself to argue with him in the middle of his lecture, and she was already too tired to think about the consequences.

“No, professor.” She finally replied, forcing him to stop tidying his notes. “There is nothing left to discuss about my behavior. Yours on the other hand…"

He observed her little tired body standing up, grabbing her bag and finally moving towards the door. When she touched the doorknob, though, it felt cold as hell. She stepped back surprised, feeling her palm cold as it bit her deeper than the cruelest winter. She turned towards him confused, only to come across his hand facing towards her direction. 

 _Winter magic_ …

“What?” She screamed at him, trying to prevent the tears from rolling on her cheeks.

There was nothing drawn on his face. Not even fear for using magic on a student of his while on University property. In fact, that coldness had started scaring her. How could he be so crass?

“Pardon my manners, Miss Lavellan.” He spoke again moving towards her. Solas’ eyes could give her the answers she desired but she decided not to stay long enough to find out. "If you let me—“

“You are insane!” Her words echoed in the empty room and before moving as close as he wanted, she used her magic to dispel his and rushed outside wondering why he had attacked her. She could go straight to the Chief of the Department and report him for harassing her. The University had a strict policy concerning that. The use of magic guaranteed his dismissal.

She didn’t mind to look behind, but if she had she would have found him staring at her from the door. His face was tense because he’d already run all possible scenarios in his mind. He was reckless.

But then again, she had made him act like that.

 

***

Solas’ apartment was the exact opposite from cosy.

Tons of books and artefacts adorned every corner of it, yet, it still managed to look so tidy. It wasn’t big, but rather practical. Everything, from his furniture to the way he had organised his wine glasses screamed that he had an issue with order. Well, that wasn’t surprising for a man like him.

He was too focused on his job and his artefacts that he rarely took into account people’s feelings. However, that specific pair of eyes had shattered a part of his serious mask.

Solas slowly grabbed one of his tall wine glasses and filled it up, devouring the ruby liquid with a single sip. He would’ve poured a second one if the doorbell hadn’t rung, and when he walked to this door, he came across a person he never expected to see.

“I’m here to see for myself how much of an asshole you can be, Solas.” The voice assaulted his pointy ears but his eyes remained the same indifferent.

“It seems—“

“It seems that you’ve crossed the line.”

“I do not seem to understand the reason of his visit, Mr. Pavus.”

“Mr. Pavus? Maker I can see what your students find so appalling in you. If I was in their shoes, I would surely have you dismissed.”

“Meaning?” His fingers squeezed the heavy door, trying to understand what had caused that specific person to show up at his door.

“Meaning you are a lucky bastard that she isn’t going to report you.”

“She?” He could make the connection now.

“Ellana! She’s a friend. So, consider yourself warned. Kaffas!”

“A friend of yours?”

That seemed to surprise him more than the fact that he’d showed up at his doorstep on her behalf. Of course, Ellana didn’t know anything about it. Dorian’s actions were impulsive. Well, Sera’s description of her before and after his lecture were pretty descriptive. She was crying, holding her hand in pain and he needed to be confronted for that.

“Yes. Since you don’t seem to understand the value of the word, remove that stick deep in your ass and apologise!”

“Good night, Mr. Pavus.” Solas only murmured with the same cold voice that could sent chill deep down one’s spine.

“Do us a favor and screw yourself…” Dorian replied in the most elegant fashion and disappeared from his doorstep. When the door finally closed, he burst into silent laughter and moved to the counter in order to finish what he had started some minutes ago.

_Foolish children…_

***

“Did you really have to tell Dorian?” Ellana’s voice was a mixture of anger, fear and embarrassment.

“Since you can’t beat some sense into that arse’s arse, I asked him to handle it for you!”

“Really? That’s all you have to say?” Ellana spoke again, sitting on her bed while tidying her first-aid kit.

“Just stop being mad already! You’re no fun.” Sera didn’t mind speaking her mind and she didn’t feel bad for telling Dorian what had happened.

“It’s just— Forget it…”

“Forget it? You could have fired his arse!” Sera spoke again trying to understand the reason behind choosing not to do it.

“I’m not that cruel…”

“Shite! What’s the reason?”

“I want to… understand.”

“Understand what? He’s an asshole! It comes to him naturally!” She was too close to her. “He bothers you because he hates the Dalish! If I were you, I’d have screwed him up pretty bad!”

“I don’t know…”

“Just change the module, if you can’t stand him.”

“I—“ She turned her eyes away from Sera’s face, touching her bandaged hand when she heard a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.”

Ellana opened at once because she knew who it was. However, what she came across made her wonder.

“I’m going to beat the hell out of him!”

Sera burst into a loud and annoying laughter when she saw Marian coming inside.

“You look like shite, too!” She had to say that out loud and Marian gave her a strict and murderous look. “Welcome to the club!”

“Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to Firebolt someone to death?”

“I can think of someone.” Sera giggled at Ellana and then lay down on her bed murmuring things to herself.

“Don’t mind her.” Ellana sat on her sofa, looking at a still angry Marian moving back and forth. “What happened to you? Something wrong at practice?”

“I can’t even say it…” Her turquoise eyes seemed darker, making Ellana assume that something serious had happened.

“It reeks of man!” Sera added, looking at the ceiling.

“Sera!” Ellana hurried to answer and something snapped inside Marian. “Marian? You are scaring me.”

“Good!” She replied passing a hand through her black hair “I’ll show him how scary I can be!”

“Who is  _he_?” Ellana couldn’t understand.

“The jerk from the airport!”

“Fenris?” She quickly recalled what had happened hours ago. However, the part of him glowing had slipped her mind completely.

“Fen-asshole!” Marian corrected her.

“What about him? Did you come across him by chance?”

“If by chance you mean that he showed up at  _my_  practice as the new player coach decided to bring…” She finally sat down next to Sera’s feet. “Then yes! It’s a fucking impossible chance!”

“Is this really happening?” Ellana’s voice was full of surprise. At least that had distracted her from her problem.

“It seems I’ll have to kill my coach as well for not letting me know! I’ll burn that Qunari’s ass.”

“There’s a Qunari roaming our campus?” Sera jumped from the mattress when she heard the word. “Horns and everything?” Her voice forced Marian to shrug a little. “Fine. Who’s that Fernis, anyway?”

“Fenris.” Ellana corrected her, making Marian more furious.

“A pain in the ass! He didn’t even respect the fact that I’m the team Captain!”

“Oh he sounds like a troublemaker!” She added again, attracting both their looks.

“This isn’t funny Sera! How can I cooperate with a jerk that doesn’t even listen? He even disapproved of my methods! Can you believe him? Can you?”

“For a start, I suggest you calm down a bit.” Ellana smiled at her. “I really need my bed.” She pointed at her hands.

“Shit! I’m sorry!” Marian stood up quickly, seconds before her magic burnt Ellana’s duvet. “What’s wrong with you? Your hand?”

“It’s a long story…” She touched the bandage with her fingers, feeling the pain spreading to her knuckles.

“The short version?”

“Sol-ass froze her hand.” Sera spoke before her.

“Froze? What do you mean froze? With magic?”

“Yes—“

Marian sat next to her and lifted her wounded hand gently.

“Does it hurt?” She was worried. “Did you go to a Healer?”

“Not that much.” She tried not to show that it was hurting like hell. “I have some herbs my clan uses for such injuries. It will heal in not time.”

“Ellana!” Marian finally released her hand. "Why did he do it? Was it on campus? Did you report him?”

“She won’t.” Sera spoke instead, attracting Marian’s attention.

“It was my fault as well…”

“Sera? What is she talking about? Were you there when it happened?”

“They were fighting… again. I can tell that. I don’t know what you two did after I left.”

“Ellana?”

“I was angry, okay?  He speaks of my People like he is some savage that doesn’t understand the seriousness of his words!” She quickly remembered his face.

Cold and solid…

“Dorian went to his house on Ellana’s behalf.” Ellana saw Sera sitting on the arm of her sofa playfully. “I can call him if you like. See what the arse had to say for himself.”

“No!” Ellana insisted. “It’s fine. I don’t want anyone else finding out or mingling into this.” She was serious, but both Marian and Sera were unable to see why she wasn’t doing anything. “I’ll sort it out.”

“Maybe Winter Grasp him a bit…” Her mischievous look reappeared. “What? He can’t get any colder than he already is, right?”

“I agree with Sera.” She looked at her satisfied face “Not the Winter Grasp part, though. Please Ellana don’t get yourself into more trouble.”

“So, shall I call Dori or not?” Sera searched for her phone.

“No!” Ellana paused pointing a finger at Sera. “I don’t want to know… This applies to both of you!”

“Fine…” Sera quickly hid her phone in her pocket, again.

Finally, she left her entire body relaxing a bit, and deciding to let the matter cool down a little, she turned her curious gaze towards Marian’s tense face.

“So… what did that Fenirs do that made you so angry? More specifically?” Sera sounded more reasonable.

“Fenris. I caught him asking my team why they thought it was a good idea to make me Captain! The more I remember it, the more I want to burn his sorry ass!”

“Well, that can be arranged. Or would you prefer bees?” Sera giggled causing Marian to laugh at her remark.

“Bees?” She wondered. “Wait a minute! There was an incident last summer at the Assistant Dean’s office. A whole beehive was found in his drawer?” Sera couldn’t hide her suspiciously broad smile. "It was you, wasn’t it? How the hell did you get the entire beehive in there?”

“I don't know. Can't remember.”

“Wait, did you have a mage help you? Some weird spell to make you invisible?”

“What? No!” She was annoyed. The truth was she didn’t like mages that much. But it was obvious that Ellana, Marian and Dorian were the only exceptions.

“But it's a beehive. Full of bees. Most people would pay attention to that!”

“That's why most people get stung!”

They both saw Sera laughing loudly. It didn’t make any sense.

But after all, that’s how Sera was.

 

Marian and Sera left some hours later after they were sure Ellana was alright. She had found herself trying to make some tea but her right hand wasn’t helping. When she finally filled her cup, she sat on her table and turned on her laptop.

She had all her notes and essay on her screen, waiting…

However, with a click she closed everything and stared at her desktop background. It was difficult to use her mouse with her right hand but managed to open her university e-mail.

Some updates, news, suggestions and… a mail from him?

She felt strange looking at the sender’s name. Her chest felt tighter and she felt the urge to delete it at once without reading. Luckily, curiosity was stronger than anger and she hesitantly pushed on the notification.

 

[No Subject

Professor Solas <solas@cul.uona.fl>                  6:54 PM (5 minutes ago)

to me

 

Miss Lavellan,

 

I would be pleased if you could meet me at my office, room 804, tomorrow after your classes in order to talk about today’s lecture.

 

Ar nuven ma son,

Solas

 

_Professor Solas_

_Professor of History and Elven Culture_

_Department of History and Foreign Cultures_

_Shartan’s Building_

_New Amaranthine AM1 2QN]_

 

She read it twice to make sure it was real.

Of course, he had bothered to send her. At least he was aware of the situation. If not, then he was as crass as Ellana thought him to be.

She minimised the page and grabbed her tea, thinking whether she should go or not. Something in the back of her mind warned her. If he had dared to attack a student, then what else was he capable of?

He was a mage after all.

Ellana finally decided to shut down her laptop without replying. She had already had enough. After the cup of tea was empty, she lay down on her soft bed, surrendering herself to dreamless sleep.

The next morning, she woke up hurting even more. So, she rushed to her bathroom, removed the bandage and put her hand under the cold running water to relieve it. When she finally felt better, she removed it slowly and let her eyes examine it. It was a bit swollen and red, and without treatment it would leave the mark of a nasty frostbite on her flesh. She tried to move her fingers but it was impossible for the time.

After some more attempts, she finally opened her cabinet and found the herbs and ointment she had told Marian about. Carefully, Ellana put a thin layer on her irritated skin, hurting with every little touch before wrapping it up.

It took her some time to get ready and when she was, she locked her room and walked to the mailboxes on the ground floor.

“Good morning, Ellana!” The voice was happy enough to attract her attention.

“Morning.” She cracked a smile before turning to her mailbox again. That was rather inevitable since he stayed there as well. Ellana didn’t mind. On the contrary, she was pleased to see his face.

“Do you have classes today?” He asked holding his mail.

“Unfortunately…” She quickly recalled that unfortunate e-mail she had been thinking about before falling asleep.

“That bad, huh?” His voice sounded funny. “Luckily, I have the best medicine for that.”

“You do?”

“I know a little coffee shop next to the sea shore. If you don’t have anything else to do at six, then—“

“I’d love to.” Her decision was fast. Well, that would frustrate a specific someone but what the hell, she didn’t feel like talking to him or seeing him today.

“Shall I pick you up from the Campus Library?”

“Sounds great.” She finally answered and after some more words and sentences that seemed to make her forget about her hand, she left her dorm, thinking only about the sea.

 

She caught herself feeling uneasy during  _The Birth of the First Blight, -395 - -203 Ancient_. Somehow, the story of Magisters trying to usurp the Maker's throne and their casting out from the Golden City for their sinful pride seemed to be quite hard to follow. Instead, she carefully placed her phone on her lap and after making sure it was on silent mode, she tapped on her browser and typed silently.

The lecturer was speaking in the Amphitheatre paying no attention to Ellana. She really wanted to listen to him but what flashed on her screen seemed more important. She had found the University webpage, her Department and after a few taps the teaching staff.

When she found his name, she tapped on it hesitantly, waiting for the page to load. There was a short biography, including his degrees and publications over the years. She read it through but it wasn’t much of a help. His publications, though, put a frown on her face.

 _Questioning the Dalish Myth: Perceptions of the ‘Dread Wolf’ from the Fall of Arlathan to the Exalted March_?  _Why is he trying so hard to ridicule the Dalish? Me?_  

She thought feeling the sharp pain on her hand. She scrolled down a bit more and found some more information about him and the Institute of Foreign Cultures that was supposed to be working with him.

 _An Eluvian?_  

Her mind tried to process the word. How did they come in possession of such an ancient Elven relic? Only once had she seen something like that. It was during the Sabrae Clan’s Annual Festival and her father had brought her along in order to see it. Something about the cold surface of the black mirror had filled her with terror and wonder. Her father had told her that the ancestors used them for communication. At least that was what the Tevinters had agreed on when they tried to unlock their secrets.

She had  kept that in mind.

The photos at the end of the page, which she came across minutes before the end of the lecture, showed a younger professor with another… Dalish? A man of similar height and weight with long brown hair tucked behind his pointy ears.

Mythal’s vallaslin covered his cheeks and forehead and Ellana wondered who could that be. Because when she looked at the professor’s face, she realised that, for the first time since she had met him, he was actually smiling.

 

Ellana didn’t touch her phone until after lunch break. Sera and Marian didn’t have any classes on Tuesday so she ate her lunch at the cafeteria silently and then left the Department to go for a walk until it was time for Alexius’ class.

The campus was beautiful. Huge old buildings surrounded by numerous trees. Luckily it was sunny and she felt that the sun sent her worries away. She walked to the huge green field, where some boys wearing black shorts and T-shirts were tossing a ball to each other. Ellana’s eyes observed them for a while and then decided to sit at the wooden bench nearby to collect her thoughts.

It wasn’t comfortable but she was fine with it and after some looks around the field in case Marian had decided to drop by she encountered a rather familiar face. He was wearing the same black uniform, long white tufts of hair escaping from his grey hat.

It took some time to notice her and when he did, Ellana noticed him waving at her. She wouldn’t mind if he greeted her. Well, not since Marian wasn’t around to start a fight with him. He was polite, even if Marian failed to see that.

“Hey.” She said when he was only a few meters away from her. The first thing she noticed was a long-sleeved shirt covering his hands and neck, despite not being that cold. She wondered if he wanted to hide something. Yes. The image of his tattoos glowing made her swallow her next sentence, though.

“Ellana, right?” He had a charming smile, she could give him that. “Your friend is not here if you’re waiting for her.”

“I know.” Her answer was short and she tried not to be weird. “I’m just taking my lunch break outside.”

“Listen…” That couldn’t be good. “I wanted to apologise if I scared you last time. I was caught by surprise.”

“I— no need…”’ That didn’t make it any better but she tried not to make a big deal out of it. “I understand.”

“Glad to hear it.” His smile had the same brooding effect, though. There was something behind his green eyes. Something that Marian had surely not noticed.

“Are they scars?” She dared to ask.

“Sort of…”

“Does it hurt?” She placed her hand on her wounded one mechanically, allowing Fenris to see it.

“Not anymore. What happened to you?”

“Accident.” She said casually, trying not to think that it was a lie. “I touched the stove.”

“It sounds bad.” He tried to smile at her.

“It’ll get better in a week or so.”

“Fenris!" The sudden voice forced him to turn around and mumble some words at his teammate.

“That’s my call. Nice catching up with you, Ellana. See you around.” He smiled again and then left. She wondered if she should talk to Marian about him. He didn’t look like a bad guy. Maybe she had judged him too fast.

She sat there for a few minutes, looking at Fenris and the rest of Marian’s team. When it actually felt a bit chilly she returned to the Department of History, waiting patiently for her next class with Alexius.

His lectures had successfully kept her mind away from things that had been torturing her for the past few day and she was grateful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! :D
> 
> I have changed Ellana's vallaslin from Mythal's [Simple Version] to June's. I've created countless Lavellan's with Mythal's vallaslin for my playthroughs. However, three days ago I found myself looking at the rest of them for a new Inky and was surprised to see that June's actually gave me a little inspiration for the upcoming Lavellan/Solas scenes (Soon!). So Ellana has June's vallaslin now. 
> 
> I should also note that the inspiration for the University of New Amaranthine comes from my trip to Dublin University's Trinity College during the summer. You should check it out! :D 
> 
> Shemlen: Humans  
> Uthenera: Long Sleep/Endless dream also translated as immortal  
> Ar nuven ma son: I wish you well
> 
> This is an updated version of Chapter 4 :D


	5. Room 804

 

Ellana had fifteen minutes before meeting Theron at the Library. Her classes were finally over and she suspected that he must have been waiting for her.

There were too many things spinning in her head after Alexius’ class was over and her hand wasn’t making it any better. There was enough time to go and listen to his apology. An explanation that would offer little comfort, though.

She hadn’t reported him for reasons she had chosen not to reveal to her friends. Trying to understand his reasons was one thing among others and the fact that he had managed to put doubt inside her head was making Ellana angry.

 _Room 804_ …

She thought again looking at the elevator. If he wasn’t an elf maybe her decision would’ve been easier.

What would he say? What could she say? Apologise and then pretend that nothing had happened in the first place? Maybe carry on with that stupid rivalry until the end of the year and then never see each other again?

It could work…

When the elevator door opened she had the opportunity to go in and deal with it. When it closed, though, she was still staring at it, thinking that it wouldn’t be wise to go to his office like this. She already felt like crying today, why give him the pleasure of witnessing that as well?

Instead, she turned around, preferring the sea rather than the storm.

 

***

It would be a lie that he wasn’t waiting for her.

In fact, it was the only thing he’d been thinking about since he convinced himself to send that e-mail. He could’ve apologised with another one and leave the matter behind, but it didn’t feel right.

His mind was already troubled and by adding one more problem to it, it gave him a headache. So, he had decided to put his faceless objectivism aside, and try to deal with it in person. And since it was his fault, allowing himself to use magic in class and hurt one of his students, he had even prepared his resignation in case she wanted to report him.

It would be easier than getting fired. Less painful and a lot easier to get rid of him without questions asked.

It was the first time that he felt unprepared and he usually knew what to say and do in every occasion.

After tidying up some of his books and artefacts, he sat on his new desk waiting for the door to open. His name was now on it, so he was sure she wouldn’t mistake it like last time she was in there. He was determined to wait until eight. Then he had to attend a meeting he couldn’t miss.

There was silence and he enjoyed it even though he always used to cover it with some classical music. A man like himself liked many things and disliked a thousand more. He was a difficult read and his awareness that dealing with him was no easy task made him even more inaccessible. That was the reason Dorian disliked him. His colleagues rarely invited him in fear that he would either decline or ruin a good night out. Fun Solas was a concept too impossible to imagine, even though they had never tried to see his other side. He didn’t mind, though.

In fact, he was used to solitude, preferred it than having to face others and try to understand their obnoxious ideas. But there he was, asking his students to share their thoughts and unique ideas on Elven Culture. He found it intriguing sometimes but they usually nodded and agreed with him.

There was no genuine doubt, only what his words had triggered.

However, the new Dalish was different from the rest. A Dalish with fixed opinions and ideas whose faith wouldn’t be shaken so easily. Looking at her face while he questioned Elven lore had awoken something in him, among other things. She had indeed sat down and listened to him talking about things that touched blasphemy and impropriety. She should have understood by now that every time he entered the classroom, Ellana was the only person he was interested in.

He slowly moved to the window, thinking about his actions, her actions... he knew that she must have finished with Alexius’ class twenty minutes ago.

Maybe the confrontation was harder than he had thought. Maybe he should’ve chosen a less intimidating location than his office.

Solas looked outside at the yard, when he saw her slim figure walking away. His eyes followed her, her figure turning smaller as she walked towards the library. There she met someone.

He saw her greeting them and then for an instant she turned around and looked at the building. Solas took a step back automatically, then move aside and sat down on his desk. His fingers reached for the cup of tea he had poured earlier, filling the small room with the relaxing smell of his black blend.

Despite the delicious taste, he detested it. Only when he needed to clear his head, he would order a cup. The first sip was awful when his tongue felt the warm liquid. He had another sip and another, and in the end the feeling of awfulness was replaced by the joy of the clarity it could offer. The cup was almost empty, and with it, thought of her walking away had finally faded away.

 

***

It was the second time Ellana had been to the beach. The sky was clear and the blue spreading all the way to the horizon had filled her with a different kind of wonder. She had never seen the sea like that, calm and transparent like fine elven glass. The Storm Coast felt nothing like what was spreading before her eyes.

When Theron finally parked, she found herself surprised by the salty breeze. The two of them walked towards the huge golden beach absorbing the saltiness, when they finally found themselves at the cafeteria he had suggested. It was nice being around him. He was very open-minded for a Dalish, a thing rarely, if never, seen among the people of the clans.

Ellana was in a state of both excitement and awe when they sat next to the huge windows. She could see the salty water right next to her turning into white foam when it crashed on the greyish rocks beneath her. She thought that her decision to accept Theron’s invitation was a wise one, and definitely better than having to spent her afternoon in that bitter office of his.

“Do you like it?” Theron spoke first grabbing the menu.

“It’s very nice. Where did you find this place?” She reached for the big menu in front of her as well.

“Well, believe it or not, an old lady recommended it to me. I’ve been here a couple of times with the guys.”

“An old lady?” She wondered.

“Yes! Her name’s Wynne.” He smiled at her gently. “I met her at the Circle’s Conservatory in Calenhad when I was taking guitar lessons.”

“Circle?”

“I know it’s strange. But I’m not a mage.” He chuckled lightly looking at her jade eyes staring at him.

“I’m sorry.” She hurried to apologise but he reassured her that she shouldn’t.

“I was never really into our People’s heritage. You’re meant to be a Keeper, right? So you understand the sacrifices and duties of the role. My father was a hunter. I was meant to take over the family business after him. But, I didn’t feel like that was what I was supposed to do.”

“So you left?”

“I was fifteen. I couldn’t stay at the camp. That hunter job wasn’t really for me.”

“Wow.”

“Yes. You just met a renegade!” He joked. “I stayed with Wynne at the Circle until I was eighteen. That woman is responsible for everything I have become. She taught me about music and the world and I simply didn’t care whether she was an Andrastian, a mage or a shem."

“I see.” Ellana tried to find the correct words. She’d never met a Dalish that had denied the ways of their ancestors before. There were stories of course, of da’len running away to see the world, but those stories rarely had a good ending, whether true or not.

“I hope that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I still respect the ways of our fathers but—“

“No. It’s fine!” She insisted. “I understand how you feel. Sometimes I feel the same. Being a Keeper is not an easy job.”

“Have you ever thought about giving up? It’s your life I mean. If you weren’t a mage would you still feel that way?”

There was silence for a moment and Theron finally realised that what he said had touched a nerve when Ellana sank in her thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be indiscreet.” He looked inside her jade eyes and found the answer she hadn’t said out loud. Of course, she had thought about the importance of her responsibility as the next Keeper The gift, the burden... “Well, shall I recommend the Apple Rissoles?” She saw him laughing nervously, but she wasn’t offended or anything. Theron was just being honest.

“Don’t they have meat?”

“No. This one has figs, walnuts, apples and spices. It’s good for the Dalish. It reminds me one of my clan’s recipes. I always forget the name. But it’s delicious!”

“If you say so. I might give it a try.” Ellana smiled back and that made him feel thousand times better. “So, how did the  _Grey Wardens_  come up?”

“Well, Faren, Solona and Duncan were already a band before I joined them. They were sort of searching for a guitarist and I happened to be in town. It’s a funny story, because when I met them they were still playing at Faren’s grandma’s basement. Such a lovely woman. She had a vast and colorful collection of… slippers!”

“Really?” She wondered trying to make the picture of the old lady and her flying slippers.

“Yeah. They were heavy as hell! So that’s it. We have been together for some time now. It turned out well. They all study here so it was a good thing that I got accepted in the training program.”

“It’s good to have you around—“ Ellana saw him blushing a little, the tips of his ears turning a shy pink she was familiar with. “I mean there aren’t many elves at Ameridan’s. And you are also a Dalish…”

“I feel the same. It’s good to be able to talk about home with someone who shares it!” Theron added as the waiter finally came to take their order.

They talked about various topics, about their clans, their people, but mostly about the life in such a big city. As Theron had promised, the dish was delicious and she was glad because it reminded her of home. In some ways, it made Ellana feel less homesick.

She hadn’t felt that way for some time now. Not that Marian’s company was bad. Not at all! But Theron was a Dalish and she could talk to him about things that Marian and Sera would never understand. He was fun to talk to and somewhere in Ellana’s mind a little thought existed.

It seemed that Theron actually liked her and not only in a friendly way. The way he looked and talked to her made her feel nice for once. It wasn’t a cold stare but a warm and familiar look that made her laugh.

The two of them didn’t leave until the sun had set and after their dessert they found themselves walking across the enormous beach. It was a nice change for two Dalish that had grown up surrounded by mountains and countless trees. The sea was calm and Ellana really enjoyed that calmness. It made her forget about everything else… even for a little while.

“So, do you know how to swim?” The question was weird but she didn’t mind answering.

“My father taught me how. But not in salty water. The Storm Coast is not exactly the right place to do that.”

“A lake?”

“Luthias.” She answered shoving her hands in her jacket, forgetting about the wound. However, Theron noticed the expression of pain that was drawn on her face.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” He stopped silently to look at her face.

“It’s nothing.”

“Who did it?” The words echoed weirdly in her ears. How could he tell that someone had done that to her?

“Who?”

“Yes… I didn’t mean to say anything but…” He took a breath. “I know how to tell the difference between a stove burn and a magic burn.”

“I—“ She couldn’t find the words to respond. He was right.

“If you want, I know a Healer—“

“No!” She was a bit harsh. “I mean… It’s really nothing. An accident, really. It’s not that serious.” She tried to explain and Theron moved a bit closer touching her arm without notice.

“If you have any sort of  _problem_  you can count on me, Ellana. I already feel you like a friend despite not knowing each other for long.”

“I— Thanks…” She couldn’t take her eyes away from his smiley face. It was soothing to look at and he really seemed to care about her.

“I’m sorry for that.” He slowly shoved his hands in his jeans and started walking forward. “We, Dalish, should always look after each other.”

She smiled to his remark. Could he actually be that nice?

She walked next to him, thinking, until they got in the car and reached Ameridan’s. Theron escorted her to her room on the second floor and stood for a while at her door in order to finish a childhood story. Ellana laughed when he finished and he copied her passing a hand through his tousled hair.

“Thank you for the dessert. And the walk. And the ride back.”

“No need. Hope to see you around more often.” He finally said and Ellana agreed. He was a bit nervous after that and before Ellana added something else, he leaned towards her and blew a kiss on her cheek. He pulled back, ears a shade of pink darker with a silly smile on his face.

“Good night.” He looked at her and then left Ellana alone to deal with that sudden gesture. When she finally closed the door behind her, the feeling of Theron’s lips on her cheek forced a sudden giggle to climb up her throat.

It had felt nice.

 

 

—Marian 18:50 pm

Ellana? I called you twice! Did you forget about our coffee?

 

She had. It had totally slipped her mind since Theron had invited her to the beach.

 

— 20:30 pm

I’m sorry. I just got your message. I forgot.

 

— Marian 20:30 pm

You never forget! Whats up?

 

— 20:31 pm

Theron invited me to the beach.

 

— Marian 20:31 pm

Whaaat? Calling you!!

 

It took only a few seconds before her phone started ringing.

“Ellana?” Her voice had the same inquisitive tone.

“What?”

“You and Theron went on a date?”

“No! Not like that. It was just dessert!” She insisted feeling excited at the same time.

“Just dessert? Are you sure, Ellana?” Her curious tone was slowly replaced by a sly echo.

“Yes!”

“Why I’m not convinced?” She waited and then Ellana heard her laughing. “Theron’s a great guy.”

“I’ve noticed…” Ellana murmured trying not to think about the little good-bye kiss.

“So, do you like him?”

“I don’t know…” She lay down on her bed carefully, examining every corner of the white ceiling.

“You do!” Marian sounded more excited than Ellana.

“Maybe… It’s nice talking to him…”

“Only that?”

“Yes!”

She struggled not to recall the night she’d got drunk. A kiss on the lips… That would’ve been…

“Okay! Do you want to get some coffee tomorrow afternoon, then?”

“I’ll have to study for that stupid essay tomorrow. What about Thursday?”

“Okay. But it’ll be drinks instead of coffee.”

“Fine…” Ellana smiled. She didn’t mind. Marian was a great company whether it was for coffee or drinks.

“I’ll be waiting for more details!”

 

They hung up after a while. Ellana was still lying on her bed, when a sudden thought passed her mind. She stood up quickly and reached for her laptop.

_Nothing…_

She was sure that he wouldn’t dare to send her another e-mail, but she had to check anyway. It would be unavoidable, though, because she still had to give him her essay and the more she thought about it the more anxious she felt. She hadn’t even started it yet. Maybe she should adjust the previous one. Of course, he was aware that her injury would delay her but she was determined not to ask for extra time.

She closed her e-mails and opened her notes. The words she’d written about Fen’Harel were staring back at her. A million thoughts passed her mind but only one stayed.

_Doubt…_

She started typing under her notes, minding not to use proper academic style. If he wanted a piece of her mind, then she’d give it to him.

 

_You requested an examination of whether a being remembered as ‘the Dread Wolf, He Who Hunts Alone, Lord of Tricksters, The Great Wolf, Roamer of the Beyond, the old wolf and Bringer of Nightmares’ has been wrongfully considered the Elven People’s greatest adversary. The only questionable thing I have encountered throughout my studies is Fen’Harel removing the Symbols of our Gods. Nevertheless, you asked a Dalish First to question the figure that has been haunting Elven History for centuries. I was inclined to consider the possibility, though, as requested. Whether the Dread Wolf did it out of hatred or love for the People, the outcome remains the same. I ask myself, where was he when the Elven People lost their immortality? Because while he should have maintained his godhood, the People around him began to wither. If he has been wronged throughout the ages, if there is even the slightest possibility that what he did was for the good of the People, why did he let them die alone?                                                                                      My conclusion is that Fen’Harel had come to like the title of the ‘Villain’ rather than reject it. Such a mantle as the ‘Dread Wolf’ should not have been assumed without proof of his actions. If he is innocent of the crimes the Dalish accuse him of, I must insist that the crime of letting his People die alone is not._

She read the last sections again while she was in the elevator. The words felt heavy and more difficult to read, but she had decided to let them be. He wanted her ideas after all.

Ellana carefully put the essay back in her envelope when the door to the eight-floor opened. She could’ve given it to him on Monday, leave it on his desk before the lecture and no harm done. If he insisted that she should stay after class to talk about  _their_  issue, then she would politely refuse and go.

However, she chose not to follow the easy way.

Whatever he had to say, she would have the entire weekend to process. It seemed better than having to spend her entire week thinking about his harsh words and petty excuses.

The corridor was empty and that made her feel more nervous. She had been thinking about that moment since Tuesday. She hadn’t sent him an e-mail to warn him and she wondered if she should have prepared him for her unexpected visit.

Ellana walked silently towards room 804 and when she finally pushed the glass door she found herself feeling the knot in her throat growing. The glove she had decided to wear to hide the wound wasn’t making it any easier. A silly little thing… He would bring it up whether he saw it or not.

His door was on her right hand and she moved towards it noticing the new black letters forming his name. No mistakes this time. She took a breath and knocked twice on the cold surface, waiting for his cold voice to give her permission to enter. Only a few seconds passed and after swallowing roughly, she dared to turn the doorknob.

Solas was sitting on his desk with a pack of papers lying in front of him. He didn’t notice her at once, but when his eyes shot up he placed his pen down.

“Miss Lavellan.”

She let the door shut behind her, without moving or saying anything.

“I did not receive an e-mail from you.” The words echoed in her mind as she kept staring at his gray eyes. She had to say something.

“Because I didn’t send one.”

“I thought so. I should note that I work with appointments only.”

“I brought my essay.” She spoke again looking at the things on his desk. 

 _Creators…_  

Then, she moved carefully towards the wooden desk and placed the envelope on it silently.

“Thank you.” She was still not looking at him. “Given the opportunity, I would also like to apologise for my improper behaviour last Monday. If you wish to report me to the Department, please do. It is only fitting for violating University Rules.”

“No—“ She finally lifted her eyes from the fine wood.

Was she… ready to cry?

He didn’t know what to think when he noticed her jade eyes turning into a green liquid. Of course, he had made other students cry about things concerning his class. However, nothing like that had ever happened to him.

He stood up slowly, observing her trying to hide her face behind her hands. She broke.

When he noticed the glove. he was flooded by sudden guilt. He didn’t mean to hurt her. She must’ve been in pain since then. His spells were powerful enough despite their simplicity.

“Miss Lavellan?” He tried to find the correct words for the first time in his life.

Her silence was replaced by little sobs and he could feel that she wasn’t in the slightest prepared for that. The same applied to him.

He was expecting insults, harsh words, even threats! But tears… no. He expected nothing but a verbal fight, not the tears of a silly girl who was trying to understand him and clearly failed.

He allowed himself to come closer to her despite her attempts to stay away.

“Please accept my apologies. If you allow me, I c—“

“What?” Her liquid green eyes pierced through him. She was beautiful despite crying. “I don’t need your pity, professor. I’m not here to threaten you in order to give me good marks! Or have them fire you!”

“I never assumed that you would do that.” He had, though, and he felt a little bad for doing so. Had he misjudged her?

“I only chose your module because I thought that…” She paused, examining his strange face. “I really thought… Well, it doesn’t matter now, I guess….”

“I would like to hear the reason.”

“It doesn’t matter! If you wish to keep treating me like I’m nothing, insulting my History and mocking me in front of the entire classroom, please feel free to continue if it makes you feel better.” She squeezed her hand, the pain causing more tears to well on her eyes. “I don’t want to know why you did what you did. I get it. You don’t like me. You despise the Elves.”

“I have said no such thing, Miss Lavellan.”

“Miss Lavellan!” She mimicked him. “Yet you treat me like your enemy!”

“You have misunderstood my intentions, M—“ He tried not to say it again. “Do you blame me for questioning the validity of Elven myths and legends?”

“Our myths and legends!” Her voice had the same quality that forced him to answer back. “The Dalish are the best hope for preserving the culture of our People!”

“ _Our People._ ” His lips formed a strict line.

“What do you mean?”

“You use that phrase so casually. It should mean more. But the Dalish have forgotten that… among other things.”

“Oh but  _you_ know the truth, right?” Her eyes were full of disapproval and anger for the bitter hahren in front of her. “If you know so much, then what are the Dalish?”

“They are children acting out stories minding not if they are misheard and repeated wrongly a thousand times.” His voice hinted at anger and frustration. She couldn’t understand the reason of such hatred.

“Of course!  _You_  know better than an actual Dalish.”

“While they pass on stories, da’len, mangling details, I search the Fade for answers. I have seen things that you would not believe.”

“Fine!” She was angry and that made her miss the most crucial detail about himself. “I’m sorry for questioning your genius! It won’t happen again!”

“Ma emma diana, da’len.” He was serious about it.

“Ahnsul?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed her wounded hand causing her more pain than she could handle. His eyes were that stormy gray that sent chills down her spine.

It was as if…

“What are you doing?” She insisted but he didn’t let her go. She was confused feeling like a cornered Halla hunted by blighted wolves. She lifted her good hand, yellow and purple lightning springing from it, ready to attack. He didn’t flinch, though. Not even when she screamed and threatened to harm him.

“On era’vun, Miss Lavellan.”

Her hand was finally released and he stared at her storming out of his office. There was a little smile on his face, though, and that seemed to have scared her the most. It was one of those smiles that were neither good nor bad. One of those that brought a little of the Void back into the world.

As much as he had tried not to show it, Solas couldn’t keep it in.

 

Ellana couldn’t wait for the elevator so she ran down the stairs, her face smudged by tears, fear and pain. Fortunately, the building was empty and no-one saw her bewildered face.

It was too much to handle. What he had said didn’t make any sense.

Finally, she reached the huge door and stopped to take a breath. The night wind made her face hurt and when she attempted to wipe off the rest of her tears with her hand, she came across something extraordinary.

With gentle moves, she removed the glove. It was hard to believe. She tried to pinch it a little to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming. Nothing. She squeezed the glove in her hand and walked away, ignoring the only light still burning on the eighth-floor.

He was up there, looking at her as she vanished into the shadows.

There was a silent murmur.

Then he walked away from the cold glass with slow steps in order to examine one of his bookshelves. Long fingers grabbed a wooden box with weird wavy carvings. It made the tips of his mouth move. His eyes were still stormy. Talking about the Elves always snapped something inside him, especially when the one opposite to him was a Dalish. It was partly her fault, though.

_Empty…_

His face got tense and as the memory of the content came back to him, blue flames surrounded the box. With slow steps, he moved to his desk, again, squeezing the ancient wood with his hand. He grinned and then discarded the remains of the box in the metallic bin next to it. As he sat down, watching the flames eating the box away, he started thinking about her. 

 _A distraction…_  then he grabbed his phone and dialed.

“Felassan.” His voice was cold again. “How are things at the Winter Palace?”

“Quiet as usual.” He listened to the man on the other side of the line. “But this isn’t the reason you called, is it, old friend?”

“Indeed.”

“Did you miss court intrigue? Or there are more pressing matters what you’d wish to discuss, then?” The voice was calm. He hated that.

“Have you come in possession of what I asked you?”

“Not yet.” Despite his calmness Solas’ ears could discern something more. "The Ambassador doesn’t trust people so easily. Even if that someone is an elf."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading fellow Inquisitors, Champions or Wardens!  
> I have another chapter coming soon. What I can say is that Varric's upcoming birthday party is going to have some familiar guests. And of course some Solas/Lavellan confrontation will also be there... among other things! :D  
> Concerning Theron's rock band, Solona is the default Human Mage Warden and Faren the Dwarf Commoner Warden you can pick in DA:O. I think it is hilarious to have them play along Duncan! (Oh, I'll burn in hell but it is totally worth it) :D  
> Also, I found this site you should check out. It has numerous recipes inspired from the DA series: http://dragonagerecipes.tumblr.com/post/84426933578/summerday-in-val-royeaux. The Apple Rissoles Theron and Ellana are having is from there. I will give it a try when I find some time and let you know if it is as tasty as it looks.
> 
> Shem: Human  
> Ma emma diana, da’len: You should stop, little one  
> Ahnsul: Why  
> On era’vun: Good night
> 
> This is an updated version of Chapter 5 :D


	6. Mackay's Epic Single Malt

It was difficult to focus on something else. She had examined it a thousand times. It wasn’t some sort of illusion. It was real. No red spots, blisters or something else that would reveal the existence of a nasty frostbite.

Ellana could feel the magic. It confused her and when she carefully placed her palm on her cheek, it felt powerful and rather tingly.

She didn’t fall asleep until it was too late. She had caught herself thinking about him, about what he’d done and said, what she’d witnessed at Skyhold, what…

At least her dreams were hazy. However, when she woke up the next day, she felt her head too heavy to stand up. She coiled under her blanket, still thinking of him and his words.

She would see him again on Monday. But even that seemed too long and she needed answers. Finally, after some time she was forced to stand up because of the knock on her door. She imagined who that might be but didn’t hurry to open.

“Good morning!” The same smiley face came across a sleepy Ellana. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”

“Morning! No, I’ve been up for an hour or so.” She pulled the fabric of her robe close to her neck, feeling the cold air of the hall invading her room. “What’s up?”

“Right, I was wondering if you’d like to grab some coffee. It’s okay if you don’t. I should’ve called but I didn’t have your number.”

“Oh. Right. Do you want to write it down?”

His face lit up when she told him the numbers. She would love to go out for some coffee but she didn’t feel like going anywhere right now. Bad timing…

“Do you mind if we have that coffee tomorrow? Afternoon preferably because it’s that birthday party I have to be tonight.”

“Varric’s?” He smiled at her with eyes sparkling. “We’ll be performing there tonight!”

“Really?”

“We could hang out during my break if you like, then. It’ll be a very busy night. Varric has invited everyone!”

“Sounds great.”

“Yes! See you tonight, Ellana!”

 

She went out three hours later.

She had completely forgotten to buy Varric a present, and since she didn’t know what he liked, she ended up at a liquor store next to Griffon Square.

“Can I help you, Miss?” The owner had a broad smile on his face when he noticed her. Of course… she was a customer.

“I want to buy something for a friend.”

“Excellent. What does your friend like?” He hurried to move next to her and share his wisdom.

“I don’t really know…” She mumbled but the man didn’t seem to drop his smile.

“What is your friend like, then?”

“He’s a writer…” She tried to recall something else. “That’s all I know about him…”

“It’s enough. Let’s see.” His voice was calm and he slowly moved towards some big bottles behind the counter. “I’d suggest Mackay’s Epic Single Malt!”

She seemed confused. But she had neither been at a liquor store before nor she knew about those Human drinks.

“This whiskey, Miss, is older than the Maker and smoother than elven baby-butt.”

She chuckled lightly and then asked about the price. The amount shocked her at first.

“But I could give you a fifty percent discount if this is a gift for, as I suspect, a specific dwarf friend.” That surprised her. “So?”

“His name is Varric.”

“I thought so, Miss.” He quickly grabbed a bottle from the shelf. “Varric’s an old friend of mine. He drops by when he has time and coin to spare.”

At least he would like her present. And fifty percent off was a great deal.

“Do you want me to wrap it for you?”

“Yes please.” She sounded more excited than some hours ago and after she handed him the money and bid him farewell, she found herself at the rainy streets of Old Town. The smell of wet soil reeked into her nostrils making her feel at ease. It was a rather familiar and comforting smell that she preferred.

She used her umbrella only because the rain would damage her paper bag and wandered around, finding herself at old cobbled streets surrounded by little shops with handcrafted goods. She wanted to enjoy the rain as much as possible but some minutes later she heard her phone ringing impatiently.

It was Sera.

“Where have you been, Elfy?”

“I’ve been writing that essay…”

“Pffft. Are you coming to Varric’s party tonight?”

“Yes, I just bought him a present.”

“A present? Do we have to buy one?”

“Not always, but it’s a nice gesture.” She kept walking until she found herself on the riverside.

“Fine. What should I get?” She thought about it “Bees?”

“I don’t think he might like that, Sera… How about some liquor? Or… I don’t know.”

“Dragon’s Piss!” The words made Ellana wonder.

“And that might be?”

“Not actual piss. Imagine that! Real piss! Maybe—“

“Are you sure he’ll like that?” She heard Sera laughing and stopped to admire the huge Town Hall on the other side of the river. “Maybe something less dramatic?”

“Piss! What did you buy?”

“A bottle of Whiskey of some sort.”

“From?”

“I think it was called Hubert’s Den.”

“Piss off! That’s friggin expensive!”

Her voice hurt Ellana’s ears a bit.

“He gave me a discount because he knows Varric.”

She started walking again while listening to Sera trying to decide on a gift. It was then that she saw the familiar pointy ears and bald head locking the door of a big old building. She thought of turning around and walking away but she hid her face and waited for him to go away instead.

“Sera!” She tried to speak lowly even though he was far away from her. “Do you know where Grumpy Pants lives?”

“Yes? Why?”

“I just saw him leaving an old building on the riverside!”

“I already know that. Dorian’s apartment is next to that.” Her voice made Ellana wonder again. “Try staying away from his arse. He’s able to ruin a good Saturday morning! Dorian’s words.”

“So, do you know if he’ll come tonight?”

“What’s with that sudden interest? Oh. I remembered, she burnt the hell out of you! Piss!”

“That … I don’t want to bump onto him by accident.” It was more than that but she couldn’t just say it out loud.

“Don’t think so. But if he does, I’ll make sure to have a jar of bees around!”

She thought that maybe Sera’s bees could help get rid of him. Definitely a great add-on for the party! Sera’s laughter continued when she suddenly felt her phone vibrating a little.

“Sera?” She quickly checked the caller. “I have a call from Marian. See you at the bar, okay?”

“Fine. Please wear something that will make you less elfy!”

She said goodbye without commenting on that and then heard Marian’s voice.

“I was just talking to Sera.”

“Did she tell you to wear something less elfy?”

“How did you know?”

“She told me to take you shopping. She was very persistent! I suspect she called you after calling me.”

She heard her chuckling. She could imagine Sera ‘terrorising’ Marian about that. That girl knew how to scare the shit out of people!

“It’s not necessary.”

“Have you seen what Sera does with her bow when she’s pissed?”

“No?”

"Let’s say that you don’t want to find an arrow up your butt...”

“That bad?” She laughed instead but Marian was serious.

“Window shopping at least? I’m already at the city centre. Meet you at Black’s Emporium? Twenty minutes?”

“Make it ten. I’m near the Town Hall.” She finally gave in. What harm could some shopping do? She hung up thinking about Sera’s words. She had already called her an ‘elfy elf’ and that seemed to have bothered her a little. She didn’t really want to attract any sort of attention. Yet, the unfamiliar tattoos on her face made a lot of shemlens stare at her. What if…?

Well that would be interesting.

 

Black’s Emporium was huge and definitely more colorful than the little shop back at her camp. There was every sort of things in there. From fashionable and luxurious gowns to not so modest lingerie that had made Ellana blush a little. 

“How’s your hand?”

“Healed…” The word was a little hard to say. “It didn’t even leave a mark.” She flashed her healed palm to Marian trying not to think about the person who had done the healing.

“I thought you didn’t want to go to a Healer?”

“My clan’s herbs weren’t strong enough to ease the pain. So, I had it healed…”

“Perfect! So, what about this?” Marian flashed another short dress with silver details on both sleeves. Ellana just nodded thinking that she would never wear something so classy by choice. “Maybe not that!” She quickly changed her mind, shoving it back. “It costs a month’s rent! Maker!” She grabbed Ellana’s arm and pushed her towards some shelves with floral pants.

“Isn’t this enough window shopping for today?” She smiled at Marian, trying to prevent any further encounters with clothes that were either too weird or too short for her to wear.

“Not until we check  _these_ out!”

“Aren’t you even a tiny bit tired?” She complained, squeezing her green coat before looking at what Marian had grabbed from the shelves.

“Do you like ripped skinny jeans?”

“Not really…” She stared cautiously at the black fabric with the numerous rips on both legs.

“You have to try something at least!” She insisted. “I think this one fits. Come on!”

Ellana didn’t reply and Marian switched it with her coat looking at how unhappy her face was. She really preferred her clothes to be tidy and definitely neither wrinkled nor ripped.

The fitting room was crowded and Ellana had to wait for a few minutes while Marian was looking at some skirts. The girl with the short red hair smiled and handed her a card with the number of items she would try.

It felt strange when she entered the tiny, almost like a box, room. She freed her feet from her brown leather boots and felt the cold surface underneath. She didn’t mind. The soil was always that cold during winter. Definitely softer and more welcoming, though.

She observed herself as she got rid of her pants, replacing them with the new ripped fabric. It felt softer than she expected, engulfing the thin lines of her hips and pelvis nicely. The only problem was the ripped parts. They allowed the smooth skin from both knees and hips to touch the cool air. She had seen girls wearing such clothes. Some of them were really overdoing it.

She didn’t like it but the confidence that a new piece of cloth offered seemed to fascinate her.

“Ellana?” The voice attracted her attention from the unfamiliar twin before her and quickly moved the thick curtain aside in order to meet Marian’s face. “Look at that! I approve! Try this one as well!” She tossed her a leather jacket that felt awkwardly heavy on her hands. “What?”

The mirror was showing something different from what she was used to. Multiple layers of tunic, leather and scarf usually covered every inch of her body. She liked the feeling of her Dalish garments but that was something different. Ellana had already bought various city clothes, something that, she had thought, would help her blend with the shemlens. She was right.

She changed back into her own clothes hastily, leaving the fitting room in order to hand the girl the leather jacket. It would be too much to buy them both since she had already spent money on Varric’s gift.

“So, you’re buying it?” Marian was waiting for her outside the fitting room, a broad smile pinned on her face.

“I haven’t decided, yet.” They walked away towards the stairs to the ground floor. “The jacket would be too much right now…”

“Well, I could help with that.” They stopped in front of a stall with colorful T-shirts. “If I still have it.”

“Have what?”

“We’re still meeting at your place before, right? Or has  _anyone_ offered to give you a ride?” Her seemingly innocent smile was replaced by a sliest one.

“No!” Ellana tried to stay cool but her smile betrayed her. “I’ll meet him there...”

“So, you are into him!”

“I don’t know!” She hurried to poke her shoulder but that didn’t make Marian stop.

“Theron’s band will be performing until late. Keep that in mind. The place will be like fighting darkspawn! You should watch out for sharp heels and falling drinks. Consider yourself warned.”

“Marian!” Ellana made a few more steps to the cashier’s trying to deal with the slight blush on her ears.

“Ellana!” She giggled. “I wanted to ask you something else. Please don’t be mad, okay?”

“I’ll try.”

“I was thinking… Theron seems to like you a lot! So, could it be possible that he is the one you kissed that night?”

“What? No!”

“It is possible, though. He wasn’t playing when it happened.”

“No…”

“Fine… Are you buying that or not?”

“I’ll give it a try.”

“Perfect!”

 

Ellana found herself spending more time on getting ready than she usually did. She was feeling a bit anxious.

She tried not to think about it too much, though. It was just a party... With shemlens dancing, drinking, chatting, judging, and kissing strangers.

Fortunately, those thoughts went away when she heard Marian knocking on the door.

“What did you do to Ellana? You know, shy elfy girl? About this tall?” Marian joked when she saw Ellana. She wasn’t looking bad herself. It was actually a surprise for someone who used to wear boyfriend jeans and sweaters.

She let her walk inside, listening to the wooden floor cradle under her black ankle boots. The maroon blazer was nice on top of her black transparent shirt. It was one of those she had seen on the mannequins.

“What’s this?” She pointed at Ellana’s smooth neck, where a silver three layered necklace rested on her cleavage.

“An old thing made by a friend at my camp.”

“Nice.” Marian said again looking at how the little stones and feather touched her grey V-neck. She cracked her another smile and then reached for something in her black bag.

“It’s a bit small for me. But it’ll be perfect on you,  _bones_.”

“Really?” She sounded more excited than annoyed.

“Just put it on!”

She followed Marian’s advice, feeling the leather on her arms and neck. The sense and smell were strangely familiar.

“ _Someone_  will be very excited to see you.”

She heard the voice but decided to ignore it as she looked at the big mirror. Her long brown curls fell inside the leather and she tried to fix them with a gesture.

“Let me see!”

She finally walked back to Marian noticing a smile of approval and satisfaction.

“I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.”

“It’s fine. You can keep it. I don’t fit in it any way.” She smiled again, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “Outfit’s done! What about make-up?”

“Just a little. I don’t want to hide my vallaslin.”

“I see.”

She paused for a moment to observe the black lines on her forehead moving to her cheeks, her lips and finally her neck.

“Did it hurt?” The question was sudden and a few seconds later Marian thought that she shouldn’t have asked. The answer was obvious, but Ellana smiled at her.

“It did… But those who can’t tolerate the pain of the blood writing aren’t ready to undertake the responsibilities of an adult.”

“So, it’s something like a rite of passage.”

“It’s also a religious practice. My clan wears the vallaslin to honour our Gods.”

“My friend Merrill used to speak about it. I have to see her for ages.”

“Is she with her clan, now?”

“No. Her clan has turned against her… And she was a First!”

“Why?”

“They forbade her to study those  _things_. You know, big old mirrors. But it was her dream.”

“Eluvians?”

“That one! I don’t understand why! Merrill is such a sweet and kind girl.”

“Only a few Dalish have attempted to study and restore the Eluvians. We have stories about them. They belong to the time of Arlathan and thus we should not tamper with them. Those that the Dalish don’t possess are stashed in private collections or  _Institutes_ …”

“I feel like I hit a soft spot.”

“It’s fine. It’s just not the time to discuss about it…”

“Shall we get you ready, then? Sera will grow very impatient if we are late. Pray that she doesn’t have her bow with her!”

Her smile made Ellana copy her and after she reached for a small chest, she walked into the bathroom to take care of her eyes and lips.

 

Marian was left alone thinking about Merrill and the day she had visited her, asking for her advice. If studying those mirrors made her happy, then Marian was fine with her decision to abandon a clan that rejected her.

She wasn’t the best one to give advice about family related problems. Hers wasn’t exactly the perfect, Orlesian one. Kirkwall had raised her in a way that ‘happy’ and ‘family’ never crossed lines. At least she had an uncle to turn to if things went sour.

Not her best choice but… the only one. That’s why she had left from that god forsaken place. She had tried hard to digest the loss of her parents and brother but having to deal with her uncle’s gambling and alcohol problems was something she could not stare for too long.

Her friends were precious to her. They were a kind of family she was slowly trying to build for herself. It wasn’t perfect but it was hers. And the more she was getting to know Ellana, the more she felt her new little family expanding.

“What time is it?”

She heard Ellana from the bathroom and hurried to check her phone. One message flashing on the lock screen.

“Time to hurry up!”

She pushed the notification silently.

 

— Broody Jerk 8:40 pm

can’t reach coach. will skip practice for the week.

 

The words filled her with the same annoyance. His excessive broodiness and the way her female teammates were distracted by their new goal keeper was really grating on her nerves.

 

— 8:40 pm

Screw you! cant skip practice again dimwit!!

 

The time between her message and his answer seemed to last forever. Marian really cared about her team. Then, why had the coach decided to bring him along? Marian assumed that he enjoyed looking at her annoyed face. Since his arrival he had been constantly bursting into laughter during their fights.

_That blasted Qunari!_

 

— Broody Jerk 8:49 pm

will do as I please

mage

 

“Is something wrong?”

“That bastard! I swear I’ll burn his ass when he sets foot at practice!”

“Fenris? Still not getting along?”

Ellana hurried to add searching for her handbag.

“Is this the face of approval? I need a drink! Better get going, unless we won’t find a parking spot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and suggestions!  
> I appreciate everything you write.  
> I've gone through most of the previous Chapters, so minor changes exist (not something important so don't worry) :D  
> There is not much to be said about this chapter.  
> Just our girl enjoying the prons and cons of shopping with Hawke (and I have to thank the good ol' pinterest for that...)


	7. Aqua Magus... Again

Ellana listened to the fading music while Marian was parking her car some meters away from the bar.

When the vehicle stopped, she went out feeling how the air had turned colder than that morning. The exposed patches of skin on her legs sent little shivers to her pelvis. She felt confident, though, and after she started walking next to Marian, she tried to imagine what her meeting with Theron would be like.

They felt warmer when they reached the huge door that separated the dread cold from the sweating heat. There, a man with a thick black beard spoke to them while checking some sort of list.

“Hawke and Lavellan.”

Marian had to move closer to his ear.

Ellana rubbed her arms waiting to get inside and when the man nodded them, she finally saw the festive interior. There were countless heads synchronising with the catchy rhythm. Theron and his band weren’t on stage and that made her wonder when they’d appear.

The lyrics sounded familiar. It wasn’t the common tongue, neither Antivan nor Orlesian. Ellana tried to focus, to isolate the words and then she realised. It was one of the few songs performed in Elven. Ellana had listened to it before. Her feelings about it, though, were mixed since it was a ballad her People used to sing during funerals. Nevertheless, it had a nice echo.

As she followed Marian, she wondered if that Dalish, Merrill, was somewhere around the bar.

“Hey, you!”

They suddenly came across the sly face with the big blue eyes and short blonde hair. Sera’s eyes scanned Ellana from top to bottom, leaving a sound of approval as she checked her pants.

“So? Do you approve?” Marian leaned towards her but she didn’t seem to listen. “Sera?”

“Got distracted!” A sly smile formed on her pinkish lips. “It definitely doesn’t scream elfy! Good job! More slutty elf for us, please!”

“Where’s Varric?” Ellana felt her cheeks a bit hotter as she tried to look away from Sera’s face.

“Follow me.”

They both followed her to a quieter room, where Ellana saw people sitting around a big wooden table playing cards and enjoying glasses of ruby and yellow liquid.

“Ellana!” Varric stood up from the table at once. Something about his red shirt made her chuckle silently. “Glad you made it! Did you grab a drink?”

“Not yet.” She hurried to give him his present instead. “This is for you. The man at the shop said you’d appreciate it. I hope you like it.”

“I wonder…” He took the bag and unstapled the two sides. “Are you serious?” His eyes were fixed on Ellana’s face as he revealed the heavy bottle. “Where did you get this? Hubert’s?”

“He said he knows you.”

“I’ve known that bilker for ages. Tell me he didn’t charge you a fortunate for that!”

“Don’t worry about that. He was…  _merciful_.”

“Thanks.”

Ellana’s eyes wandered around as Varric moved away to place the bottle aside. Instinctively, she walked towards the faces she had met before. Among the strangers, she noticed a particular face looking at her with a broad smile.

“Our favorite freshman!” She saw the familiar moustache moving up and down. “Come here! Grab a drink!”

“Some soda would be nice…”

“Soda?” His light-colored eyes examined her face in disbelief. “Is this a freshman talking or responsibilities?”

“Add some bad choices to that, Dorian, and voilà!” Another familiar voice ringed in her head.  _Of course…_

“My dear Isabela,” They both looked at the woman in the short white dress and long boots. “Anything to say about Ellana’s nightlife?”

She moved to Ellana elegantly. Her charm was unique, like a pirate princess that had found herself in the shoes of some sexy businesswoman. The pirate princess sat on the table in front of them crossing her legs seductively, caring to show her playful side with every little smile.

“I’m just a businesswoman enjoying a good drink.”

“Are you trying to seduce my friend here?”

“Pffft, please. I’ve already done that.”

“I—“                                      

It was quite obvious that Isabela’s smile worked on both males and females. No race excluded.

“I’m just messing with you, Ellana.” She added making her feel a bit relieved. “How is your sex life going?” And that was how long that relief lasted.

“Isn’t she hilarious?” Dorian stared at Ellana. “How is  _yours_ , Izzie? Still thinking about men and boats the same way?”

“You know what I always say, sailing is like sex! Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick. But do it right, and there's no feeling in the world like it.”

“I think our conversation is making our little friend a tad uncomfortable.”

They both looked at Ellana with the same sparkling eyes and cunning smiles. It was true. Her ears were already tainted by a shy pink that made her scold herself.

“No! It’s fine… Maybe I’ll have that drink after all.”

“Try the Aqua Magus… again!” She chuckled loudly. “It makes miracles.”

“Isabela!”

Ellana’s moan reassured Dorian.

“So, I’m indeed missing something, ladies!”

“It’s nothing really!” Ellana hurried to answer still listening to Isabela’s wild chuckles. “I just had a little too much last time.”

“Define a little too much.”

“Try ‘kissing strangers’ too much!”

 “Interesting.” His eyes locked on hers. His smile, though, was gentle. Like a little approval.

“Care to share the juicy details?”

“I think Marian’s looking for me...”

“Come on, Ellana! I promise to behave!”

She wasn’t convinced, though. That woman could easily turn into a little Desire demon.

“Sit down. Isabela will behave herself. I’m bringing you some cider, okay?”

Dorian patted her shoulder and then left them alone.

“So, do you know anyone else around here?”

“The woman in the yellow dress.”

She turned around, the little movement revealing secret parts of her tanned legs.

“Ah. Josie. Isn’t she a peach? She’s working for your University, right?”

Ellana only nodded.

“Anyone else?”

“I’ve heard a lot about Merrill, if that counts.”

“Kitten!” Her face sweetened a little. “She always asks me what ‘makes people sing’ means. If you get me.”

Ellana tried to prevent her cheeks and ears from blushing.

“Is she coming?”

“I don’t think so. She must be wandering around some creepy ruins. Or something as creepy as that.”

She couldn’t say that she wasn’t a little disappointed. Meeting Merrill, another Dalish, would have made her feel a bit more relaxed.

“Here you are.”

Dorian finally appeared in front of them with another strange face next to him. “This is Cassandra by the way. She insisted on meeting you.”

Her face had something terrifying and charming at the same time. Her name had already been mentioned a couple of times before and she was now sure that what Marian had said about her was true.

“Cassandra Pentaghast. Nice to meet you.”

“Ellana.”

She smiled at her trying to figure out how she’d respond to her race.

“Don’t forget Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena.” Dorian giggled a little. Her smile dropped and her inquisitive eyes gave Dorian a long glance.

“How do you remember all these?”

“I have them stitched into all my clothes.”

“Even your underwear?” Isabela was delighted. “I’d love to see that.”

“You spend too much time with Sera, Isabela.”

“Maybe.” The sly smile returned to accompany her naughty thoughts. “She’s the only one who knows how to have a little fun. Like. Real. Fun!”

 

Ellana chatted with Cassandra for a while.

After the second glass of cider, she found herself talking to Josephine, before joining Marian and Varric for a game of Wicked Grace. She knew neither the game nor the rules but she enjoyed the view of Varric stripping every single one of them from their coin.

Ellana listened to all of them sharing stories about their jobs and personal lives and when it was her turn, she was happy to share. When the strange game was over, they moved the smaller party to the bigger party outside the walls of the room. It was chaotic.

The music in her ears was now familiar. Theron was on stage along with his band and the melodic sound of his voice put a little smile         on her face. They all sat together around Varric’s table but she stared at Theron for a little while, his finger stroking the guitar strings in the most elegant fashion.

She was enjoying her drink, chatting with Dorian and Sera when the first surprise of the night occurred. Sera’s fingers poked her thigh but she didn’t care to ask why.

The  _surprise_  had appeared silently behind Varric’s chair. She wondered how he had managed to sneak in without the three of them noticing.

The second surprise was the way he was dressed. Brown or black pants, she couldn’t say, fitting his legs nicely, a cream sweater that allowed her to see his collarbones, a green cardigan with wooden buttons falling a little longer than the sweater and…

 _A wolf jaw bone around his neck?_   _Oh he wore that on purpose, didn’t he?_

Ellana was staring at him despite Sera’s whispers. He handed Varric a fancy bag and whispered something in his ear without even looking at her curious eyes.

“Ellana?” Sera finally shouted inside her ear forcing her to turn to her annoyed face. “Do you want me to knock his arse?”

“Creators, no!” She felt uncomfortable to the thought of it. Why did he have to show up and ruin the mood?

“I could help with that if you like.” It was Dorian’s devilish voice in her other ear offering help.

“Thanks for the offer but—“ She squeezed her left hand, nails feeling the soft flesh without hurting. “I’ll go grab a drink.”

“Ellana?” Sera wondered looking at the full glass of cider in front of her. The word had attracted a certain face, but she couldn’t tell, because after a few seconds she found herself at the crowded bar.

“What can I bring you?” The man smiled at her leaning over the wooden surface.

“A shot of Aqua Magus, please.” Her voice was serious but the barman just smiled and fetched it for her.

The blue liquid vanished as soon as he placed it in front of her. His face seemed to have resurfaced the events of Friday night. She wanted an explanation so badly, but at the same time she wanted to Firebolt him.

“Can I have another one?”

The barman nodded and after some seconds he listened to her repeating the exact same thing.

“Problems?” He dared to ask leaning towards her as Ellana devoured the third shot with eyes closed. That shit burnt her throat, and only when the burning sensation was gone, she managed to answer him.

“One.”

“Good. People around here seem to have millions of them. I’m Octie by the way.”

“Ellana.” She murmured licking some drops of alcohol from her lips. “What kind of name is that?”

“I get that a lot. But Octham isn’t any better.”

“Right.” She smiled, allowing a shallow giggle to escape in the process. “Another one?”

“Are you sure you can handle it?”’ He folded his arms examining the peculiar tattoos on her face.

“My Problem is here. So I think I do.”

He turned around and fetched the entire bottle along with another shot glass, filling hers first and then the one in front of him with delicate moves.

“Bottoms up!” He said and after raising his small glass, Ellana copied him.

She laughed a little after swallowing and then pushed the glass towards him. Of course, she needed more. The refined Lyrium inside that thing made her feel great. She needed it despite how careless her actions after it would be.

It wasn’t after two more shots that she felt a hand on her bare arm. Fingers squeezed her skin lightly in order to attract her attention. 

 _Sera…_  She thought and smiled at the barman.

“A word?”

She turned around clumsily only to find him too close to her.

“Why you are still here? Don’t you have papers to mark? Tea to make?” She turned around hastily avoiding his cloudy eyes, letting Theron’s voice cover whatever he had murmured next.

“Is there a problem?” Octie asked noticing the change on her face. “Is he bothering you?”

“The Problem I told you about…”

“Ah.” He tried to get a good look at Ellana’s Problem.

“Is that _wolf_ behind me?”

His eyes left hers only for a second.

“Yes. Do you want me to—“

“No.” She looked at Octie thankfully and then drank the rest of the blue liquid in front of her. “A girl has to work her problems out by herself! Thanks for the shots, Octie.”

 

Solas was waiting right behind her. He had decided that this was the best course of action. Confronting her again in a more neutral environment.

A more  _familiar_  as well.

He wouldn’t leave without saying what he wanted to say. But she was so stubborn that she wouldn’t even listen to him. Instead, he found himself looking at her back. Something in the way her hair was falling on her shoulder made his impatience grow a little.

Until she finally turned around. Her face was a bit red and her jade eyes seemed full of content despite looking at him. He rarely got a look like that, but he was sure the shots she’d devoured were probably responsible.

“So?”

“Not here.” He shouted in her ear. “Let’s go outside.”

Solas turned around and started moving, knowing not if she was following. The place was crowded and he disliked that. He tried to move through them without getting his shoes destroyed by the amount of feet around him. He really hated that kind of parties.

He was already half way to the main exit when he felt something pushing his cardigan back to the chaos. His eyes met the troublemaker at once. There was a devious smile on her face as the new song flooded the bar.

Solas knew what that face meant. He’d seen it before on the faces of numerous freshmen as a result of alcohol and bad choices, himself included, but that was a long time ago.

“Professor—“ Ellana’s face had moved dangerously close to his. “Why do you hate us so much?” Her lips were too damn close to his cheek. “Are you allergic to Halla?”

He tried to distance himself from her but failed. The people around them had formed an inescapable circle he had to either break forcefully or stand until the music changed pace. “Enfenim dirtha?”

“Miss Lavellan. Could we—“

“No! I don’t think I want.” Her voice sounded like a sensual noise in his ears. Her body was too close to his and the thoughts had returned. “Do you do anything else than being an annoying teacher?”

The words tickled his ear. “Are you good at anything else? Or judging the Dalish gives you immeasurable pleasure?”

“Do you want me to show you, Ellana?”

He saw her surprised face as she moved back. She read his face in a different way and his mouth turned into a cunning crescent moon as she stared at him.

“By the Dread Wolf! He actually knows my name!”

 He enjoyed the sight of her arms folding on her chest. It made her breasts puffier. As with her words, Solas’ face turned from curious to bitter. But she hadn’t noticed. All she wanted was to—

“I apologise. Miss Lavellan seems more appropriate. Could we now go outside for a moment please?”

“Fine!” Her eyes sparkled as she moved past him.

If she wasn’t his student, he would have enjoyed putting some sense into her. There was something in the way she looked at him; the way her eyes identified him as an enemy.

It was the same stare that forced him to change direction, heading not to the exit but somewhere quieter than that. She didn’t know the place very well and that change seemed to her as an attempt to avoid bumping onto people. But when she saw Theron on her left she was sure they were heading towards the restrooms.

She didn’t stop, though, but followed his figure as it forced people to move aside. It was then that she realised where he was leading her.

“Fenedhis lasa!” Her words finally reached their destination as he shut the door behind them. “Why did you bring me here? Oh… I get it now. Are you some sort of pervert turned on by his  _troublemaking_  students?”

“No, Miss Lavellan. I only wanted a quiet place to explain myself.” Solas’ voice was smooth but something about the way he was staring at her didn’t seem right.

“Go ahead, then. Dirtha!”

Ellana could feel the cold air hurting her body. She wondered if his cardigan was warm enough to keep her warm. The thought distracted her for a moment before his sharp words brought back order. However, the only thing she could hear was a well-mannered arrangement of words structuring a formal apology.

 _Blah blah blah blah_ ill-considered _blah blah_ _inappropriate_ use of magic _blah blah_ responsibility _blah blah_ rules  _blah blah_ wrong foot _blah blah blah_ your irresponsible actions _…_

“What do you mean my actions?”

 She suddenly snapped out of her haziness.

“You are as irresponsible as I am, Miss Lavellan.”

“Care to explain, professor?”

“Consuming drinks that are illegal for your age is a good start, don’t you think?”

“You’re not my father to lecture me about dos and don’ts!”

“Indeed. I am nothing to you. This is a rather friendly reminder as your senior. Do as you please. You of all people understand the importance of responsibility. Or is it the burden of oppression? The Dalish know how to instill that into their da’lens. Or is it only you?”

His voice was so harsh that snapped something in Ellana’s chest the moment he dared to say the word.

Solas had really called for it. He was aware, but he kept pressing to see what she’d do.

“Do you ever listen to yourself when you talk?”

Ellana made a step back as she lifted her left hand to summon lightning. She didn’t hesitate and, thinking not about what she was about to do, she unleashed the energy towards him. Everything he had said and done were amplifying the power of the unavoidable impact.

Everything happened so fast after that. There was a metallic noise and a blue flash that forced her to shut her eyes. When she opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. She made a step in fear towards the stricken barrel with her heart racing as she realised what she’d done.

“Are you done with that little tantrum of yours?” Solas whispered next to her ear, sending little terrifying shivers down her spine. Surprised, she turned around only to find him standing straight, hands folded behind his back with that wolfish look on his face.

“I—“

“You? Irresponsible as I said.” His voice was strangely calm. “I suggest we start acting like responsible adults, Miss Lavellan. Or we will find ourselves in very difficult and irreversible situations.”

Ellana hadn’t listened to that. The only thought in her head was that she could’ve killed him.  She didn’t care that it was the person that had given her hell until now.

Without notice, her eyes welled and the only thing that seemed right was to vanish from his sight.

“I— didn’t want to hurt you—“

She tried to wipe her runny nose with the back of her hand. Solas had definitely hit a nerve. Attempting to hurt him wasn’t the only thing that had triggered her tears, his words were harsh but true to the last word.

That life had chosen her without even asking if she was ready or if she wanted to devote her entire life to her clan.

Ellana turned around with tears still streaming down her face and quickly vanished inside the chaotic room of voices. There was a smile on Solas’ face, another grin that seemed difficult to define, as he watched her leave.

His eyes were rather accustomed to the sight of her leaving. Thinking about last time, he shoved his hands in his pockets and dragged a cigarette to his mouth. The other hand lit it carefully and after a deep breath, he allowed the white cloud of smoke to exit his lips slowly and vanish into thin air.

_Ellana…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank so much for your support! :)  
> DA:I has officially turned 2 years old this month! They grow up so fast... :') 
> 
> I really love Isabela and Dorian hanging out together, talking about naughty stuff! Especially when they both talk about it in front of Ellana! :D  
> I wrote Solas's party clothes after I saw some of Nipuni's designs! I love that girl's drawings! Be sure to show her your love and support on Twitter or Tumblr! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Enfenim dirtha: Are you afraid to talk?  
> Dirtha: Speak


	8. Dreamers

Solas found his way to his cold apartment two hours later. He hadn’t stayed to enjoy Varric’s birthday cake or wish him well.

He had chosen his solitude but his house seemed not the right place to dwell after his conversation with Ellana. Not even the Fade seemed the perfect place to be right now. And he loved the Fade more than anything in the world.

He walked for countless minutes on the riverside thinking about her. There was more to his strange behaviour than she realised. The way her eyes had rolled on his, surrendered in fear, excitement and embarrassment, reminded him of their first meeting.

An encounter that Ellana seemed to have forgotten.

Solas felt so stupid that he’d felt the need to go out for a smoke that night.  It only happened when he was extremely stressed. He hated the taste of it as much as he detested tea. But he thought it was a better alternative than having to Blizzard down an entire block.

He had found her back there, all hazy with a silly smile on her face, and asked if she was alright. It wasn’t his concern, just a drunk girl at the back of a bar, giggling and murmuring to herself in artificial bliss.

Solas had stepped aside to light his cigarette and try to send his troubled thoughts away before killing someone. But it was then that the little ignorant girl had surprised him with a kiss. Her mouth on his had an explosive effect. Something that a cigarette could never do.

She was pretty drunk to understand what she was doing. So, it was nothing more than an impulse.

She had demanded for his participation despite being a stranger and when she moved away without getting what she wanted, something forced his mouth onto hers again. Tasting her lips, their softness and warmth, had excited him in ways he never sought. He could taste Aqua Magus on her tongue and the traces of refined Lyrium felt delicious to him for once.

She was a stranger… Someone he’d forget, if he left and never spoke of it again. But when she moved back in order to run away, the dim light had revealed her face and he was sure that it would be hard to forget.

Solas was sure that remembering her would lead to trouble and his slightest hope was dissolved when she walked into his classroom.

The more he was thinking about that night, the more he pressed himself to forget. It was forbidden! But he’d found his morality slipping away every time that mouth of hers moved.

And when he made her cry…

He’d felt a little bad for all the things he’d said about the Dalish, about her. However, he knew better and the only thing he wanted was to fix that mess without risking his career.

All those thoughts had been spinning in his mind endlessly. Her face was still among them.

He really didn’t care that she had attempted to fry him. He was more skilled and fast than her that she wouldn’t even scratch him. His mouth let a slow murmur before shoving himself between the pillows stilling feeling her magic lingering on his skin. He tried to empty his mind whispering a series of words that formed a slow lullaby. It was enough.

Finally, he surrendered himself to sleep in order to find himself in the only place he loved. The place where he forgot about the crudity of his world.

He could lose himself in there, even for a little while.

That much he allowed himself.

 

***

_Too many…_

It would have been nice if Ellana knew where she was. It felt like the Fade but it was more dreamlike. She couldn’t tell the difference but it was of little importance. Her body was tired and her spirit could feel it as well. The refined Lyrium in that awful drink still lingered.

The memory of her trying to hurt him was spinning in her mind. The rest of the party was fine. However, she noticed Sera’s I-know-you-did-something-but-I-can’t-decide-what look. Marian had thought it was caused by the amount of alcohol she’d consumed and her sudden need to hide from Theron.

She didn’t know what time it was.

Ellana only knew that she’d have to walk back to the Dorms in the morning. But it was her choice when they decided to hang out at Dorian’s place for a last drink and some junk food. She had crashed on the couch before even touching any of that. The pillows had felt so soft on her skin that she couldn’t resist.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself pacing through huge bookshelves and library desks. There was something old and dreary floating around. She could sense it.

However, it felt nice, walking, moving, smiling…

A dream then?

One of those that showed a nice little story, happy, sad, adventurous or amorous enough to entertain the mind. There were huge windows around the room, so big that reminded her of doors to new places and different stories.

She couldn’t control her body. That would explain why she found herself lying in the middle of the room without realising, surrounded by books without names. The ceiling was tall, she tried to calculate how tall exactly but her eyes were playing tricks on her.

_Hanging or floating?_

She couldn’t decide.

Pages were lying around her, holding secrets doomed to stay scattered forever. And then she heard it. A muffled sound that when it grew louder it forced her to stand up in fear of what might be.

It was like metal collapsing on cold marble.

_Louder…_

It felt unbearable to stay still and wait, so, she walked around, eyes still hazy, until a figure looking through one of the black windows was caught by her jade eyes. There was no face, only a black mass that seemed to expand and glow.

 _Too many eyes…_  

The thought lingered until she decided to move and take a closer look.

_Too many…_

The figure didn’t move until she stepped onto something that cracked and broke under her foot.

 _Cold_ … and…  _too many_ …

Ellana dared to knock on the glass with her trembling fingers.

_A spirit?_

No…

_Demon?_

The figure seemed disturbed by the noise and when it noticed her, red pupils appeared on the black mass, forcing her to step back.

Her eyes witnessed the figure passing through the glass. It was something that should never be encountered in dreams; something that made her body freeze; something that made her forget everything but the feeling of pure horror...

It was neither a night terror nor a demon that wanted to scare her, but the Bringer of Nightmares himself.

It looked at her as she tried to move away, but her eyes were still locked on the red orbs that seemed to drip blood. Too many to handle. Too many to stare. Too many that could tear the world apart.

It had finally caught her.

The one thing the Dalish prayed not to happen…

The Wolf had caught her scent…

She saw the invisible threads of magic taking form, black and tainted, springing from the wolf’s head. The glass shattered into a million pieces. Her screams could not stay inside and she let them out as the figure moved closer, consuming her into the darkness of the void.

 

Her eyes were still shut.

There was a fading noise somewhere.

Her mind was slowly emptying.

When she finally opened them, she found herself in front of a door. The black letters formed a name she didn’t even want to read.

Ellana looked at her hands, realising she was holding white pages inside a folder ready to be delivered. Her clothes were different. Something she’d never wear to his class. But she didn’t care.

Her hand formed a fist and disrupted the cold silence. She didn’t wait for his answer and when she entered the room, she came across something entirely different from what her mind had memorised. The dream had weaved a new setting.  

“Miss Lavellan.”

The voice softened the unfamiliarity of the place as the door shut behind her silently. In her confusion, Ellana finally came across the man to whom the voice belonged.

“What are you doing here?”

He sounded hostile and confused.

“I’m not sure. I’m here for the essay?”

“You do not hold anything.”

He moved towards her, his face was bewildered but he looked like his usual annoying self. His outfit was a bit strange, though.

“I—“

She looked at her hands. He was right. But they were some seconds ago, she had felt them but there was nothing.

“I repeat. What are you doing here, Ellana?”

Her name echoed weirdly, like an ancient elven curse that shouldn’t be repeated.

“Where am I?”

She didn’t know what to think when she noticed his eyes. It was like facing a tempest. She felt powerful and terrified at the same time. Such power…

“Here. Now answer me!”

Solas stormed towards her and she moved back afraid of what his anger could do. He disliked her equally, then. The dream was showing her what could happen if the threads of appropriation and prohibition didn’t exist.

“I wanted to know why you hate us so much, professor.” She murmured. “Is it because we are foolish children? Or because our ignorance both offends and excites you? Do I excite you?”

The liquid green in her eyes pierced through his serious mask and he found himself directed by anger and a sudden desire to punish her for such intrusion.

Ellana expected a scold or an annoying argument about the vices of the Dalish. She got none of those things, though. Instead, Solas managed to corner her like a terrified animal. He pushed her back until she felt the solid surface blocking her way and fingers started squeezing her neck.

Ellana didn’t dare to move. She was waiting impatiently for his next move.

“You are so stubborn and impulsive. You speak of the world like you have experienced it. You think myths and legends are true despite their nature and now you are here, distracting me from my peaceful meditation. Are you sure you are not a Desire demon? Are you sure you are not here to tempt me?”

“By the Dread Wolf! Are you mad?”

He was so damn close, his fingers pressing and messing with the soft skin without caring if she was his students or not.

_It’s not real!_

The thought gave her more freedom over her actions.

“The Dread Wolf…”

His head tilted a little allowing her to see the peculiar smile on his face. It was scary… but hid the most secret ways of seduction. “Are you afraid that he will catch your scent if you do not follow tradition?”

“I’m not afraid of him!” She tried hard to remain valiant. However, somewhere between his stormy eyes and sly smile her fearlessness slipped away.

“Who is disrespectful now, da’len?”

Ellana felt a little knot in her throat and impatience rooted in her chest.

It wasn’t real!

“There is something about you I find quite… fascinating.”

“Fascinating? Meaning?”

The answer was burning in his eyes but he didn’t mind to share. Her face had the right amount of fear and insolence that set his mind ablaze.

Instead of answering, he brought the words to her lips. Her face was full of temptation but the thought of her tattoos made him hold back a little. The three lines on her lips burnt his. It was a fire words could never be able to explain.

Ellana was surprised at first. Succumbing into stillness until she realised what was happening. The strict line of disapproval she’d witnessed numerous times was now a thick line of passion that tried to find its way into her.

To conquer her.

He wondered if arousal could be real in a place like that and took him only a moment before his lips traced her neck, reaching slowly to her bare shoulders. He wanted to rip everything apart and feel, feel her thudding heart and hear her whisper his name.

Solas found himself being seconds away from doing something he’d regret when logic returned. His fingers released her flesh and turned away at once, minding not to inspect her face for clues.

_Can dreams feel like this?_

Ellana shook her head feeling his aura on her lips. The places his fingers had touched oozed with magic. It wasn’t warm but cool, like a taste of ice-cream during the hottest summer day.

“Do you have any idea what your actions have caused? Do you?”

“My actions? What about your actions? What about this?”

“This was a mistake, da’len.”

“What?”

Her heart raced a little. An arrhythmic beat that got worse when she stared at his face. There were so many things she hadn’t noticed about him; the little dimple on his chin, the two little scars on his forehead that seemed to hold a funny little story, how his lips were so full when he wasn’t frowning…

What was standing in front of her was an exact copy of the real one. No modifications to make him look younger. No hair to alter the wisdom on his face. No vallaslin. Nothing…

“Because of you, I have felt the whole world change.”

“Felt the whole world change?” Her voice was lower and a smirk appeared on her face.

“A figure of speech.”

“I’m aware of the metaphor… But you? Felt? You don’t feel!”

His lips seemed strangely attractive to her.

“You change—“

Solas didn’t manage to finish his sentence. He wasn’t sure if he had anything else to add. He only knew that he had to seal her lips before saying anything that would infuriate him.

It was Ellana’s face and the impatient biting of her lips that had invited him to another hungry taste. And it was delicious, like a brightly colored fruit that once tasted could make one fall deep into surrender.

He should’ve been out of his mind. She was a Dalish! And he was… Well… He wasn’t fond of them.

But Solas claimed her mouth, her tongue surrendering to his as the threads that held everything in place were suddenly cut. He pushed her until her back touched the wall, enjoying the way she had surrendered under his touch.

_She hasn’t noticed._

His moves weren’t careful, his knee parting her legs as his fingers traveled from the smooth skin of her neck towards her leather covered hips. How had she not noticed?

There was a smile of ignorance on her face when he finally allowed her to take a breath. His face— that mouth.

She had to taste it, again. Her dream was turning into a delicious fling, which would make her die from embarrassment when she’d wake up.

“Ellana—“ He moved closer in order to whisper in her ear.

His breath excited her.

Elven words, ancient, known and unknown made her heart thrum. If he’d said those things in the real world, then she’d have thought that there were two of him out there. One that was extremely annoying and cold as ice and one that wanted to claim her everything.

“Sweet—“ She tried to speak. “talker…”

He pressed his body onto hers, squeezing her wrists and immobilising her. She was responding to him and that made him kiss her deeper until a moan escaped her lips. The sound was so strange, its memory so distant and painful that made him snap out of that impulsive nonsense.

“We shouldn’t. You are a student of mine. It isn’t right.” The words puzzled her. “Not even here.”

“Here?”

He turned around without giving her an answer. The sudden realisation made her eyes hurt and her stomach tighten.

It wasn’t only a dream.

He was there.

In the Fade.

Speaking, looking, touching, kissing…

“Wake up…”

_Fool…_

 

Ellana opened her eyes feeling a weight on her shoulder. When she looked, she found Sera snoring lightly.

Nothing made sense.

_No! Yes! Shit!_

She tried to stand up without waking Sera up. The burden in her stomach forced the alcohol to stir. She wanted to throw up so badly.

Standing up was a little difficult after all those shots, crazy dreams and his face staring at her. She stepped silently around the living room, searching for her leather jacket. Marian was also sleeping on Dorian’s armchair. She couldn’t wake her up.

She couldn’t tell anyone about it. What had happened was just stupid.

She finally grabbed her shoes and wore them clumsily and when she grabbed her phone, she realised it was only four thirty. She didn’t care. The only thing she wanted was to go home and try to send all the craziness away.

The jacket was nowhere to be found but that didn’t stop her from moving to the door silently.

Ellana found herself going down the stairs in the slowest and most silent way. The noise of her heels on the marble made her head hurt, but when the cold air hit her face it went away.

Well… not everything. Because he was also there, leaning on the barrier next to the river and staring at her like a blighted wolf.

She ignored him at first, trying to convince herself that it was all a mistake. He was smoking… that was the reason he was outside. Smoking…

She hugged her arms and tried to walk away when he called out to her. The voice sent shivers down her spine as the knot grew awfully bigger in her throat, blocking every word.

“It is the second time we indulge ourselves in such actions, Miss Lavellan.”

_Second?_

The word didn’t seem to make any sense at first.

“Could we at least talk about it first, before you vanish, again? Things seem to have taken a dangerous turn between us.”

“Between us?”

_Shit…_

“Ah. You are not aware.” A smile formed on his lips. “I have tried to let the events of that night slip from my mind. I thought you had done the same. Unfortunately, your mind was too hazy to recall what happened that night at Varric’s bar.”

“What?”

“It seems shocking at first. But it was an unfortunate coincidence. I should not have acted that way either.”

“What?”

It was hard to comprehend how her mysterious kiss with a stranger had turned into an ill-considered and thoughtless mistake with him. She really wanted to punch him, then punch herself and go away.

 “I know it is hard to believe. I myself find it difficult as well. It was not proper and I humbly apologise for allowing things to get that far. If you a—“

“Creators! You? You were— You?”

Solas moved closer to her. His clothes were the same as the ones he was wearing in the Fade. It was true. He wasn’t a dream!

“So what? You decided to take advantage of me? Treat me like trash because of what I did that night? Creators! I was drunk! Why you? Of all people? You? Creators!”

“Ellana—“

“You used magic against me in class because I kissed you? Then healed me because you felt bad? You invaded my dreams! How the hell did you do that? You— Is this a game?”

She was freezing but that didn’t seem the most important thing at the moment. His eyes were solid and full of disapproval. But it lasted only for a few seconds before changing into something more familiar.

Softer…

“The kiss was impulsive and ill-considered, and I should not have encouraged it considering our situation.”

“Of course! You say that but you were the one who continued!”

“And for that I am sorry. I did not want to take advantage of you that day. I was… troubled. Your action offered me some comfort.”

“Comfort? What about the Fade? Did you need comfort, again?”

Something in the way he was looking at her, something in the way he had said he was sorry, something… It made him look so attractive that she had been biting her lips without noticing.

She moved a little closer.

“Miss Lavellan. You must understand that the reason—“

She suddenly sucked the rest of his words along with the warm air he was breathing. It felt real, muscles and bones forming a mouth that gave him something the Fade couldn’t.

Why? Minutes ago she was shocked and angry.

His warmth flooded her body bringing relief. The lips she had tasted in the Fade had suddenly found their way onto hers again. It felt cold and then hot. Ellana was sure it was a mistake. Yet she was now feeling his tongue in her mouth, his hands on her cold arms sliding dangerously towards the small of her back.

His aura mingled with hers. The touch of his body filled her chest with magic. She tried to part from his lips carefully and look at the damage she had caused.

“How’s that for comfort?”

“You shouldn’t.” He suddenly pushed her away, his tongue still feeling warm and sweet.

“Now you know how it feels.” Her eyes seemed dark and bewildered. “This thing never happened!”

The words felt heavy but filled him with guilty pleasure.

Solas shouldn’t have encouraged that either. But there he was, feeling the warmth of her body fading away as her aura slipped away from his body.

He slowly relieved himself from his green cardigan and handed it to her.

“Sathan.”

She grabbed it and turned away leaving him and his thoughts alone. Her face was colored by disgust.

Solas cursed himself for being such a fool and for letting things get out of hand, again.

Ellana wasn’t special. He had already told himself that she was nothing more than an ignorant da'len. He wanted to—

_Fenedhis._

He walked towards his apartment. Every step made his head hurt. He wanted to look back but he didn't allow himself to turn. 

_Nonsense._

He would never allow himself to follow that path. There was no room in his life for someone else.

Not now. 

However, he still felt the urge to rip her clothes apart lingering dangerously in his mind like a hungry wolf.

_Complication._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas, Solas, Solas...  
> I really love the way he looks at the Inquisitor during Haven. So many feelings drawn on his face..
> 
> I imagine Solas sitting in his apartment, murmuring old Elven songs in the dark. I had Mir Da'len Somniar in mind while writing this chapter. He is so sad at times but somehow he manages to keep his cool remoteness. I really wanted to give him a hug.  
> I ignored him during my first two playthroughs. Didn't even do his personal quest or took him along.  
> One day, though, I saw a post on Reddit that he was into 'Fade-tongue', something about court intrigue and sex. [Winter Palace]  
> I thought it would be interesting to romance a bold (and bald) elf. I felt it would be like Fenris...  
> Imagine what I got instead.... 
> 
> Next chapter will focus a little on Ellana and Theron's relationship. Our two Dalish just hanging out... or maybe not? 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the Kudos, comments and feedback!  
> You are awesome! :)
> 
> Sathan: Please


	9. The Trivial Details of History

The room was cold but Ellana didn’t mind turning the heat on. Her clothes were scattered everywhere. Her shoes were feeling lonely as one was lying away from the other. She was coiled under her duvet wearing nothing but guilt and embarrassment.

Her thoughts were wild. She shouldn’t have done that. Her feelings for him were fixed. Because apart from being her teacher, he was the one that insulted her heritage, her duty and her culture.

Not once but countlessly.

Her eyes were tense and as much as she tried to fall asleep, she couldn’t. His magic still crawled on her skin. The thought of him kissing her was making her face and ears redder than she expected.

The mattress cradled as she moved and she found herself walking on the cold carpet, dragging her duvet along. She sat on the table silently and pulled her laptop towards her.

It was a moment of weakness.

That’s what she kept telling herself until her e-mails loaded on her screen. She clicked on the one he’d sent, her fingers sliding on the mouse hesitantly. Then she deleted it.

She clicked on refresh, but nothing new appeared.

Again.

_Nothing._

Again.

_Nothing._

Each click filled her with something that shouldn’t be there. She pushed her knees towards her chest and dragged the duvet over her head. She wondered if the man who had kissed her was the hahren she was seeing every Monday.

There was something there as much as she was trying to deny it. She remembered everything, Fade and not, the memories of him pushing her towards him made something crawl in her stomach.

Ellana quickly grabbed her phone from the desk and ran through her messages. She should stop thinking about her professor.

At least she had to text Theron an apology.

 

***

— 5:38 am

Sorry for ditching you at the party. I wasn’t feeling well.

 

She left her phone on her pillow thinking about his answer. A few minutes later her head buzzed.

 

— Theron 5:42 am

Still awake?

 

— 5:42 am

Still not feeling well.

 

— Theron 5:43 am

Hope you get well soon :)

 

— 5:45 am

Thanks. Why aren’t you sleeping?

 

—  Theron 5:47 am

Thinking too hard..

 

— 5:49 am

?

 

— Theron 5:49 am

You

 

_What?_

That was a surprise.

For a second she didn’t know if her mind was playing tricks on her or his messages were real. She tried to think an answer but none seemed appropriate.

 

— Theron 5:59 am

Come see the sunrise with me. rooftop

 

Ellana read every single word carefully. She wasn’t sure if she should go. However, she owned him one for ditching him. She didn’t feel like sleeping either.

She quickly wore some warm clothes and grabbed her coat from the chair. The hall was so cold that made her ears hurt.

She didn’t have trouble finding the roof and when she pushed the heavy door, she came across Theron’s back and tousled hair. The noise attracted his attention and she saw him smiling.

“You’re here!”

“I wasn’t going to sleep anyway…”

“I see.”

Ellana stood next to him looking at how the sky had turned a little brighter.

“Aren’t you cold?”

“I don’t mind the cold. My clan preferred mountainous areas to camp, so this is nothing compared to cold mountain mornings.”

“Nice…”

“Did you enjoy the party?”

“It was nice…” She thought about it, again. “A bit unfamiliar…”

“Unfamiliar… yes… Listen Ellana…. I was wondering if— well—“

Theron saw her staring silently at the sun rising. Her face seemed a little troubled. “Will you go out with me?”

She snapped out of her little day dreaming immediately.

“Go out with you?”

His ears turned a bright red.

“Not now! I mean— Will you go out with me as in… a date?”

“I—“ She wasn’t looking at him because she was afraid that he’d see how nervous she was. There were thoughts in her head. Thoughts that she had to put in order before saying anything else.

Instead of speaking, Theron moved closer and surprised her by putting his hand on her cold one.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It is…” Ellana felt nice despite her uneasiness. Theron’s warm hand on hers felt soothing for once. It wasn’t an improper gesture but a kind little thing that put a smile on her face.

She murmured some words and Theron’s face lit up.

“You should go to sleep… You’re shivering.”

“Just a little longer…”

“Alright.”

 

Ellana went back to her room a little happier than her stupid professor and the Fade had left her. All she wanted was to sleep. Theron’s soothing voice and big eyes had made sure that she was going to rest.

Instead of confusing dreams, she found herself swimming in Lake Luthias. Her father was there watching over her. She really missed him.

She had woken up relieved from the burdens of yesterday. Her body was a little sore and she stretched a little. There were notifications flashing on her phone and she picked it up only to find Marian’s worried texts and missed calls. There was also a text from Theron.

A few words that made her sleepiness go away.

 

— Theron 10:21 pm

I hope you are sleeping :)

 

She smiled.

 

— 14:01 pm

Just woke up.

 

She looked at the time the message was sent.

 

— 14:02

 Didn’t you sleep at all??

 

She waited for him to answer feeling the same excitement as on the roof. However, it wasn’t until late that she finally got his text.

 

— Theron 18:43 pm

New roommate just came and wanted to play videogames for a little while. Couldnt say no

 

— 18:48 pm

Videogames…?

 

— Theron 18:49 pm

Tell me you had at least one console at your camp!! :O

 

— 18:50 pm

If by console you mean the consoling air of the forest, then yes.

 

— Theron 18:51 pm

I see what you did there.. :D you should come over to check it out!!

 

She thought about it. Was it an invitation? There was one way to find out.

 

— 18:52 pm

I have some time now…

 

— Theron 18:59 pm

Reallyy!!??

 

— 19:00 pm

If it’s okay of course.

 

— Theron 19:02 pm

If you don’t mind another elven delinquent. room 305

 

She tried not to think about it. But when she found herself knocking on Theron’s door she scolded herself for being too excited. The door opened and she came across the blue interior, the smell of cologne flooding her nostrils with each breathe.

“Ther—“

She hoped to see him but a new face was staring back at her.

“Hey there! Theron said we were expecting a friend of his, not an elven goddess.”

Ellana chuckled a little. “So, what brings you to our humble dorm room, princess?”

“Just let her in!” Ellana heard Theron and searched behind the man with the sun-kissed face. She walked in hesitantly as his roommate examined her from top to bottom, emphasising more on checking her body than her face.

_Strange guy…_

Theron was sitting on the couch in front of the TV. She thought he looked a bit tense but it had to be his new roommate.

“Ellana,” He stood up immediately. “thanks for coming.”

“Shall we bring you anything? Coffee? Tea? A man worthy of your time?” Theron’s roommate spoke again, making him frown instantly.

“Creators! Can’t you just behave?”

“Behave? Me? You haven’t even introduced me!”

“Fine. Ellana this is Zevran. Zevran Ellana.”

“Zevran Arainai. Zev for my friends. Whatever you like for you, princess.”

“Nice to me you.”

Zevran moved closer to her allowing her eyes to take a glimpse at the weird tattoo on the left side of his face.

It wasn’t Dalish for sure.

“So you are a Dalish like my friend Theron?”

“The tattoos gave me away, right?”

He smiled again moving closer to Ellana. “You?”

“No. I’m not Dalish. My mother was, though. Wild little thing.”

“I see.”

“Weren’t you going to take a nap, Zevran?”

Theron had grown impatient. Zevran had both the looks and words to seduce Ellana at once. He didn’t like that.

“Was I?” His eyes made Ellana wonder if it was true. “Pardon me then. We’ll have to continue this conversation another time. Maybe in a quieter place.” He gently grabbed her hand and put a little kiss on her knuckles. “See you around, princess.”

Her ears got a bit red and when Zevran disappeared, she wondered what kind of person made such a first impression. Chivalry was something the humans loved.

“Don’t mind him. He’s a little weird.”

_“I heard that, lover boy!”_

“Seriously? Just—“

Ellana couldn’t hide her new smile.

“It’s alright. I think he’s funny.”

“You do? Creators! He just arrived and he’s already causing trouble!”

“Will you manage?”

Theron growled and grabbed the second controller from the table. Ellana wasn’t close enough to listen to what he’d murmured about his new roommate.

“I’m sorry… I’ll get use to him.” He finally smiled at her. “You still want to play, right?”

Ellana nodded, thinking how bad she was going to be at it. That didn’t stop her, though. She sat down next to Theron and took the controller examining the little colorful buttons.

“This will be your best friend!” Theron’s voice was accompanied by a broad smile. He enjoyed her company. “I’ll explain after you choose a fighter.”

“What are we playing exactly?”

“Dragon Fighters. It’s a fighting game. I’m in Story Mode. Let’s have a 1v1 to show you the basics first. You can join me later if you like it.”

“Sounds… good.”

 

“Fenedhis lasa!”

Theron laughed when he heard her cursing, again. “I didn’t want to activate my ultimate!”

“You pressed L and R, didn’t you?”

“I wanted to jump!”

The screen in front of them was showing Theron’s Warrior celebrating his victory. Ellana’s Rogue wasn’t so lucky after getting beaten by his maul, though.

“Well, if you had used it, then my Qunari would’ve been lying in pieces. You’re getting better. Fancy another game?”

She nodded holding the controller more confidently. She had really liked it. Beating fictional videogame characters seemed enjoyable.

“Are you two still playing?”

Zevran’s voice forced Theron’s face away from character selection.

“Are you going out?”

“I’ll go grab a drink. Do you want to join me?”

“We are—“

“I was talking to your lovely friend, Theron. Unless you want to take me out instead.”

“What?”

His face turned a shade redder.

“I— Thank you. But I promised to help Theron beat the next boss. If I get the hang of it…”

“I see.” The sly smile never left Zevran’s lips. “I’ll be going then.” He walked towards the door looking at them. “Don’t party too much without me, lovebirds!”

“Just go…”

When the door shut, Theron finally felt at ease.

“Are you alright?” Ellana spoke looking at the various characters on the screen.

“Yeah… He just speaks his mind too much…”

“Ah.”

“I had a bad roommate once. So, I’m a little worried about him.”

“Why did you choose this room, then?”

“I didn’t…” Theron looked at the vallaslin on her face. The way they reached to her succulent lips made him stare for a while. “It was the only room they had. Zevran also came here a couple of days ago.”

“I see.” She finally turned her head towards him. “He can’t be that bad…”

Ellana cracked him a smile and then turned to the screen. She selected her character looking at how strong she looked with the daggers and armor. It looked nothing like her and that made her wonder if she should’ve been practising her magic.

“Ellana?” Theron’s voice had something sweet that attracted her attention a little. “I was wondering…”

She found him staring at her.

“Is something wrong?”

“What? Oh! No no! I was just… admiring your vallaslin.”

Her fingers slid on her face slowly. “I’m sorry for staring. I never got mine in the first place and I wonder if it hurt as much as my Keeper used to say.”

“It hurt… but withstanding the pain is something the Dalish must do in order to prove themselves ready for adulthood.”

“You already sound like a Keeper.” His mouth turned into an awkward line that tried to find the right words. “This isn’t a bad thing! You are a First so you know more about blood writing than everyone else.”

“Yeah…” The memory of pain found its way back on her skin. “If you had got yours, which one would you have picked?”

“I grew up in a family that honoured Andruil. So, I would have picked that one, I suppose. What about you? Why do you honour June?”

“I wanted Mythal at first.”

“But?”

“We have a lot of books with stories about our Gods. My Keeper used to bring books written by shemlens during her trips. She studies the ways the shemlens try to explain our ways. One of them said that June is the least understood. I couldn’t understand why he’d written something like that. June is the God of the Craft. It’s straightforward, right?”

“For us, yes.”

“But there must be a reason he wrote that! My Keeper’s knowledge of June was the same as in the books we had about him. Nothing new. But the shem was right. He appeared most seldom of all our gods. It made me think that since his crafts are associated with Andruil, our People tend to forget that June was the one that made them.”

“I never thought about it… Andruil is the most revered goddess among the clans. Her value is unmeasurable in mine. Over half of my clansmen wear her vallaslin.”

“Preserving what faces extinction is part of a Keeper’s job. My job. But something so trivial as June’s portrayal throughout our lore goes unnoticed.”

“So, you decided to wear his vallaslin because it reminds you of your duty…”

“It reminds me that even Keepers sometimes forget about such trivial things. A shem was able to notice something we didn’t. I want to be a Keeper, Theron. I want to preserve the knowledge of the past the best I can. We can’t afford to lose more—“

She lowered her eyes to the pillow on her lap.

“Hey…” Theron’s fingers found their way on her cheek, lifting her face carefully.

“Do you feel that our People have started forgetting the trivial details of our history?”

“I’m not the best Dalish to judge that, but I believe our People are trying hard to preserve what we’re left, Ellana.”

He moved a little closer when her head responded to the touch of his fingers. “We aren’t Dalish because we have pointy ears or, as the elders insist, vallaslin. I don’t have vallaslin, but I feel the pain of our ancestors. I respect our traditions even though I’m not part of a clan anymore.”

“Do you think I’ll be a good Keeper?”

“Again, I’m not the most suitable person to answer… But I think you’ll try to be one. You have the potential, Ellana. You are kind and you’ll try your best. I’m sure of it.”

His smile was kind, full of hope. It made Ellana think that he must be a one of a kind Dalish, considering his past. The vallaslin didn’t define him as one, his soul and spirit did.

Her concerned face was replaced by a smile of content and she leaned towards Theron. His words were true. He was caught by surprise as he felt her hands around his chest. Ellana whispered a silent ‘thank you’ that made his heart race a little.

He tried to return her affection but she moved back. Her eyes were a green he enjoyed looking at, a mixture of different green shades that reminded him of the endless mountain forests at dawn.

“Shall we have another match?” Her voice was calm, more confident that filled him with desire.

“Are you sure you want to lose… again?”

“I’ll try not to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9 Days left for Christmas and I'm thinking of writing something Christmas-y!  
> Thank you so much for all the comments and support. Had to delay this chapter a little but now it's here!  
> I love how things go between Theron and Ellana at the moment. A friend of mine who has been reading the story insists that I should get rid of him as soon as possible. :O But I really can't do that! I'm so sorry...  
> I wish you have fun and rest well during the Holidays!  
> Hope to upload another chapter before Christmas (if I don't write that sort of Christmas Special I've been thinking)  
> Also, Zevran has joined the gang now! I really want to find some fanart of him wearing a Christmas elf costume. Good old Zev :D


	10. A Single Elven Word

Solas’ mind had not yet cleared since Sunday. He had ignored numerous calls and messages from people who were too important to be missed.

He had plans. But the thought of her lips on his had put them on hold. At least for the moment. His trip to Halamshiral was something he couldn’t miss whether he wanted it or not. Some stupid dalliance shouldn’t make his mind cloudy.

He wondered if it would be wiser to take some days off. Personal reasons would be sufficient for the Department. They didn’t like him, so some days away would give them some peace.

_Meaningless feelings…_

That was the reason he distanced himself from them. They tended to make his mind hazy, especially when it involved the presence of a cocky and obstreperous woman. He shook his head, feeling the cold air on his ears for a moment before wearing his helmet. Somehow, she reminded him of  _someone_ …

He had once overheard his students talking about how old-fashioned he looked. Ellana must have thought the same thing until that Saturday.

However, he didn’t consider himself as such. That motorcycle screamed ‘rebel’ from half a mile away and that definitely didn’t describe Mr. Grumpy Pants. It was a pleasure he allowed himself, apart from games that demanded a board and nice chats about the Elven Culture.

There was a sense of freedom accompanying the experience of riding such a vehicle. Every time he hit the accelerator he could feel it. It was the only thing that made him forget about the things that troubled his mind.

He rode past the riverside enjoying the rainless morning. It was still very early. He turned left, riding away from his apartment until he was minutes away from the University.

No-one was there when he reached his spot. It was always nice to be surrounded by silence. His steps were troubled as he carried his helmet and leather bag towards the Department of History.

He came across a smell of fresh flowers when he took the stairs to the fourth floor. He’d been encountering it since his first day as a Professor of the Department.

“Your usual coffee, Professor?” The young lady behind the white stall asked him. His face always made her crack a little smile but she was always careful not to overdo it.

“Not today, Miss Flissa. Some tea instead, please.”

The smile was replaced by curiosity and Solas could discern how it was trying to escape from the tips of her lips. She didn’t ask, though, and, after a few seconds, he exchanged some coin for the cup.

“Thank you.”

That woman knew him for quite some time now. She was aware of his schedule and, as far as she knew, he was never late to grab his coffee and then walk to his office on the eighth-floor. Flissa never saw him during the day and often wondered whether he brought his own lunch or preferred to eat alone at home after work. He was a mystery for her, a thing to pass her time while waiting for her shift to end. It was rather amusing. A little game even.

His drink put a little frown on his face. She noticed the moment she handed him the cup.

Solas thought that the smell was as bad as the liquid itself. Despite detesting it, he needed to clear his head from thoughts that could distract him from things that mattered. One of those thoughts was whether she would keep attending his class. It seemed quite impossible after all those things he had said that night.

There was always another way of course…

Solas started thinking about it after he exited the elevator and walked towards his office. His thoughts seemed to devour him, but when he found a lonely figure pacing nervously outside Room 804, everything was gone.

He wondered at first. Their conversation had made him think that she wouldn’t want to talk to him alone. Not that soon.

She didn’t cease to surprise him.

When he was finally close enough to observe how her high-waist pants hugged every inch of her legs and hips, she turned around and greeted him with a silent nod.

Was he dreaming?

_No._

He was sure that wasn’t a dream. He unlocked the glass door in the most silent way and then dared to look inside those jade eyes that screamed it was too early for her to wake up.

“Miss Lavellan.”

“Professor.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here so early…”

She tried hard to find the correct words.

“Could we—“ Ellana took a hurried breath. “Talk for a moment? I’m not here to cause you trouble.”

“I see.”

Solas finally pushed the glass door, allowing her to step inside first. The whole thing seemed suspicious. It was like she had decided to act maturely. He was curious to see what she’d have to say.

It was a lie that he hadn’t spent his Sunday thinking what their next meeting would be like. He never expected it to be so soon, though. He felt unprepared and somewhat puzzled.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, her presence was flooding him with unexplained feelings of comfort.

 

Ellana was thinking about it since the moment she convinced herself to calm down and remember that she wasn’t some silly eighteen-year-old shem, but a responsible Dalish First that had to act maturely and fix her mistakes. Of course, Theron’s advice had helped, even though he didn’t know what had truly happened between them.

It wouldn’t be easy but it seemed better than having to endure long awkward stares, annoyed faces and the idea of spending time on a module she would eventually quit.

Ellana looked around trying to collect her thoughts. Her sudden presence wasn’t the only surprising thing in the room. She noticed his helmet and the big leather jacket that masked his  _Professorialness_.

_If only Sera could see him!_

She didn’t know if it was the clothes and picture of him on a motorcycle or the fact that he was the stranger she’d been thinking about that made him more attractive.

_Shit… You’re not here to make out with him, Ellana!_

The sudden thought found its way into her head. She tried to send it away but found herself observing him hiding both jacket and helmet in a drawer. She peeked on his white shirt before forcing her eyes to roll back on his face. It was enough to see that he’d missed two of his buttons while his sleeves were rolled up his elbows.

_Was he in a hurry?_

There was something else there. She saw the leather strings hiding behind the fabric. She wanted to ask…

No. She wanted to hold it, to touch it and discover why he had something like that so close to his body. The thought of touching was provoking her. She had to stop and his voice offered the exit her mind was trying hard to find.

“What is the reason of your visit, Miss Lavellan? Are you here to discuss what happened—”

“Yes. About  _that_. Apparently, if I was more careful, we wouldn’t have that conversation right now, professor.”

“Evidently.”

“I’ve thought about… you know and I agree with you that nothing should’ve happened in the first place. I am deeply sorry for my outburst. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get that far considering your status.”

“True. B—”

“But… the Fade—“

“What about it?”

“About what happened between…”

“Between?”

“Us…”

“As I recall,  _nothing_  happened between  _us_  in the Fade. We should allow dreams to neither shake our minds nor influence our actions.”

Solas tried to hide any trace of emotion. Ellana was still staring at him trying to understand why he was lying, when it occurred to her. It was her words.

“Of course…” She accepted the lie. “I know we started on the wrong foot. Such incident should be forgotten and never mentioned again.”

Tension was guiding his fingers when he’d touched her in the Fade. She wasn’t the only one shaking. aHe didn’t know if she had noticed. He hoped she hadn’t.

Ellana really wanted to hear the reason he’d kissed her. It was the only thing spinning in her head that forced her mind to go back to that night.

However, she snapped out of it the moment she noticed him staring at her like he could read her thoughts.

“I’ve thought about it and the thing is… I want to keep attending your classes. If you have a problem with it then I can only quit and you’ll never see me again. I can promise you that. However, you should know that if I stay, I’ll fight to defend what defines my very existence.”

Her words felt heavy in his head. Never seeing her again could solve everything. Something less to worry about.

“Are you setting rules, Miss Lavellan?”

“Isn’t this what you approve? Authority and order?”

“In the absence of rules, order malfunctions. But even in their presence, systems always suffer from the inevitable existence of those who are against them. They are always there, ready to interrupt and bring chaos. But authority is also there to stop them despite their noble motives.”

“So you think I’m someone who will bring chaos in your life?”

“This is just an observation. It is what happens in this world and what will continue to happen. But we are not here to expand on that. Allow me to say that you have thought this through, Miss Lavellan. What happened at the back of a bar without anyone noticing can be easily pushed away from our memory. Since you already know my opinion on the matter, I must reassure you that from now on our conversations will be limited to matters that concern either your academic progress or my lectures. Is this clear?”

“Yes.” She murmured, her eyes still pinned on his face. Could he have forgotten about everything? Because she hadn’t, she couldn’t do it yet...

Ellana had tried really hard to avoid saying something that would ruin everything. But as much as she was trying to maintain the calmness in her voice there were parts that shouted _I still think you’re a heartless bastard who took advantage of my weakness._

“Priorities must be ensured, Miss Lavellan.”

“I don’t really like being called Miss Lavellan.” The words slipped from her mouth without noticing. Such familiarity was bad.

“Is this—“

“Creators no! It’s just— This is awkward, isn’t it? Maybe I shouldn’t have—“

 Her ears felt hotter. Fortunately, he was focused on her eyes and didn’t notice.

“Miss Lavellan—“ He paused but didn’t correct himself. “Unfortunately, neither of us has the ability to travel back in time and prevent such unfortunate events from adding more drama to our lives. I must insist that we are on the same page before proceeding. You realise that my position here in the University is far more important than an unfortunate dalliance with a naive student of mine, do you not?”

_Unfortunate dalliance with a naive student…_

“My clan sent me here to study and that’s the only thing I’m expected to do.”

Her fingers curled onto her sweater in order to feel the soft lambswool before squeezing it. She started biting her lip waiting for his answer.

“Of course.” His voice was steady.

“Well… I should be going then…”

She really wanted to stand up and go but her legs weren’t moving. Her eyes were fixed on his stormy irises and he’d noticed.

“One last thing before that. Do you not want to know about your essay before you go?”

“You marked it already?”

She nodded looking at how smooth he was now.

She didn’t care about her pride. All she wanted was to get on with it before it got out of hand. It took her some seconds to push the inappropriate thoughts away and saw him opening his drawer in order to grab her work.

“I’m actually impressed. This is definitely more you than Gisharel.”

And that rarely happened.

“So you are not failing me?”

Something in his new tone forced the question out of her mouth. She still was a little tense, trying to think what she’d written. However, the words he’d whispered to her was the only thing in her mind, lingering in the darkest corners of her mind.

“I will pardon the use of personal style. I cannot fail you since you fulfill what we discussed last time. The ideas are yours.”

“Okay...”

“I was wondering about one thing, though...”

She hadn’t realised that his voice could be so… relaxing? Was that the right word to describe it? When he wasn’t accusing her of anything, it had a pleasant echo. It reminded her the wisdom of her Keeper mixed with the experienced words of her clan’s hahren.

“Where did ‘Fen’Harel removing the Symbols of our Gods’ come from? As far as I know, it is neither in your bibliography nor in the material available in our library. I suppose it’s not your clan’s knowledge either.”

Ellana didn’t answer at once, making Solas wonder if she was thinking about an excuse. “How are you aware of events that books and History do not recall, Ellana?”

“How?”

Her name on his lips had a bittersweet sensation.

“Are you asking me, instead?”

His elbows touched his desk with a slow and elegant move. There was something behind her jade eyes, an unpleasant memory that was difficult to resurface. Yet, she had dared to write that little discovery in her assignment, minding not if that would raise certain questions.

“I guess…”

“If that’s the case,” Solas finally let his hands rest on her essay and Ellana’s eyes caught every little movement. “there is more to our world than meets the eye. There is knowledge that is only accessible to those who possess extraordinary abilities. As you have already witnessed, we are both in possession of a gift that has been considered extinct for ages.”

She started biting her lip, again. Her Keeper wasn’t going to be happy about him knowing.

“Are you implying that we are… Drea—mers?”

The word didn’t want to leave her lips.

“The Tevinters used the term Somniari. And I am not implying. I am stating it. How much do you know exactly about this rare and marvelous gift?”

“I— Well— Ancient Elves were talented… Dreamers before the fall of Arlathan. Keepers say that sacred herbs were thrown onto an eternal fire for the smoke to guide them to the Beyond.”

“An old friend of mine would consider these notions ‘overly romantic’. A mage who practices dreaming regularly needs not the aid of potions of water, honey and herbs. There is no need for smoke and rituals to dream. You just have to do the most ordinary thing in order to witness the most extraordinary wonders of a world that has fallen into the ruins of Memory.”

That had a nice echo to it. Talking about things they shared felt natural.

She felt like he was talking about the Fade like he was an organic part of it. Like his very existence was depending on it. So strange…

“How do you know all these?”

“I have been studying the Fade for a long time now.”

“Can you dream of the past?”

“I can dream in forgotten ruins and uncover lost secrets by witnessing spirits re-enact the history of a place, if this answers your question. But this knowledge might not be always accurate.”

“Why?”

“The account of such dreams can be biased depending on whose perspective the spirit chooses to emulate. If it is the hero’s perspective, then you will witness actions of self-sacrifice and vigilance. But for a traitor, the spirits might show you only corruption and terrible angst.”

He paused, looking at how her ears had picked every word of his. “I believe you and I have more in common than you think.”

“I fail to see how…”

“I grew up in a village in the North. There was little to interest a young man there. The Fade was always a world full of wonders. Young dreamers tend to have difficulty entering the Fade. Keepers do not even encourage the practice of such gift. But you do not seem to be inexperienced. Does not that support my claim that the Fade was a temporal escape for you?”

“There were a lot of interesting things in my camp. I enjoyed living there. It’s my choice.  _Our_  choice.”

“Ma ane del, Ellana. You live in camps, stranding further away from the cities because you still fear Men’s judgement.”

“So what? Is it wrong to fear those who caused the decline of  _our_  Culture? Or you are one of those who think the Elves brought destruction upon themselves?”

“So, we are going back to that. Why are you so interested, da’len?”

“I want to hear your honest opinions on Elven Culture. Not what is in your curriculum but what you truly believe. You judge the elves despite being one. Why?”

“I thought you’d want to share your opinions about Elven Culture. The Dalish always seem to boast about their heritage in the most inelegant fashion… I’ve already suggested that the knowledge of one’s past can be altered without anyone noticing. Even your greatest Keepers. This inaccuracy is… frustrating.”

“That’s why you dissociate yourself from us then? Do you consider yourself a City Elf?”

“I have my reasons.”

He slowly leaned back on his leather chair. “And no, I do not identify myself as such.”

“Then?”

“I believe the answer would cross the boundaries we just set. Is there anything else concerning our mutual academic interests that you are interested to discuss?”

She really wanted to know more about him. Her sudden visit, her decision to make a step back, everything stemmed from that silly idea that had stuck in her mind. He was something different from the rest. That man seemed to know more about the elves than she did and she was a First. Finding out about things her clan’s older generations had missed made her a bit angry.

There was of course the matter of the murals she had witnessed back at Skyhold. However, that knowledge should not be spoken of. Whether or not he was able to give her answers, she didn’t trust him in order to share what she’d seen.

_He must already know…_

“What you said last time, about the world of ancient Elves. Do you know what their world looked like before the fall of Arlathan?”

Something about that made his eyes cloudy, again.

“There are stories of them living in trees with wooden ramps and Dalish Aravels. Imagine instead spires of crystal twining through the branches, palaces floating among the clouds. Imagine beings who lived forever, for whom magic was as natural as breathing. That is what was lost.”

“Have you seen it?”

“Maybe.” His answer flooded her with wonder. “The Fade holds such images of the past. Yet, no-one has troubled himself to search for them.”

“You sound like you spend an awful lot of time in the Fade, professor.” She added. “Ma’din emas salas’shiral?”

“Eolas nuven’in druathe, Ellana.”

“Ah.” Her eyes rolled on the wall next to her. Square frames were tidily placed one after the other. She tried to read the lines adorning his Doctorate but the words seemed to be of little importance. His name, though, was written in big cursive letters.

It was a little odd that it was just a first name. No surname to give her a hint of belonging, to identify his clan or his People. It was just a name. The word was familiar. A single elven word. Small one. But the meaning had slipped her mind.

“Ellana?”

“I should get going. Some friends are waiting for me.”

Ellana finally managed to stand up clumsily. She was looking at his degrees for numerous seconds, allowing him a moment of silence to observe the tattoos on her face. The black lines that still made his stomach stir. The lines he had allowed himself to taste.

_Rules…_

The word was still spinning in her mind as she turned around and walked to the door.

“Dareth shiral.”

When she didn’t reply, Solas looked at the watch on his wrist.

_An excuse?_

Of course, she would come up with one. What she had done demanded a certain amount of willpower. However, restlessness was drawn on her face despite her effort to hide it.

He would see her in two hours. It would be a good chance to test whether they could discuss without the desire to firebolt the hell out of each other.

_Two hours…_

_Where are you going…?_

Solas watched the door shutting and then grabbed her essay from the desk. The words turned into scribbles as he read. His mind was already running away from his office.

It shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!!! :D  
> Some FenrisxHawke Chapter is coming up next :D
> 
> Ma ane del: You are wrong  
> Ma’din emas salas’shiral: Don’t you have a life?  
> Eolas nuven'in druathe: Knowledge requires sacrifice  
> Dareth shiral: Safe journey


	11. The Marks That  Burn

There was a persistent buzzing that made the entire bedtable shake.

Marian hated that sound so early in the morning. She was sure it wasn’t time to wake up when she opened her eyes and felt them tired and itchy. Those contact lenses she had been wearing for some time now made them feel irritated.

“Shut up…”

Her throat felt too dry to talk.

It finally stopped after a while, meaning that the caller knew she would never wake up even if someone had decided to blow up the Chantry next to her house.

She pulled her legs closer to her body. She could almost taste the dream world when the buzzing returned.

“For Maker’s sake!”

She turned around and searched for it, an arm escaping the blanket under which she had willingly trapped herself. The annoying thing kept ringing as she dragged it on her ear. “I’m sleeping. Too early. Try in two hours—“

“Hawke?” The voice was deep despite its feminine tone.

“What did I do?”

“Nothing.” The voice annoyed Marian’s ears. “I know you’re sleeping but one of your friends is in custody since yesterday night. Aveline’s not happy, Marian.”

“What friend?” Marian rubbed her eyes trying to understand what she had just heard. “Varric’s in jail?”

“If only... That dwarf pisses me off so—“

“Cassandra?”

“Right, yes. White hair, green eyes, some crazy tattoos, didn’t even have an ID with him.”

“Shit!” She suddenly jumped from bed, throwing the blanket on the floor. “Broody as hell?”

“I’d say impolite and brutish but, yes, you could also say that.”

“Why did you call me?”

“We arrested him for trespassing private property. They found drugs on him as well. I asked him if he wanted to use his phone call but he just gave me a number instead of calling himself. Said the person on the other side of the line would not be pleased but to inform anyway.”

“That bastard!” She walked to the bathroom at once, looking at how tired her eyes were. “For the record, we are nothing close to friends.”

The thought of him in a cell had somewhat made her day. However, the fact that he was arrested reassured her that he was nothing more but a shady character.

“I see. I only called because there’s a bail. If he doesn’t pay he’ll face jail time. A proper punishment if you ask me.”

“He has no-one to bail him out?”

“The phone call is usually used to call the one that will bail you out. It’s not a lot of coin. So, I wondered that since he gave me your number he doesn’t have anyone else to turn to…”

A dry sound escaped Marian’s lips. Then her brows came together and her big turquoise eyes narrowed.

“He thinks I’m going to bail him out?” Her voice was an octave higher. A big no was written on Marian’s face, accompanied by a _Say hello to jail, jerk!_ “This is so funny…”

“Despite his rudeness and complete lack of respect, your friend seems to be in a bad shape.”

“How much?” She made a pause squeezing some white toothpaste on her toothbrush. “And. He. Is. Not. My. Friend!”

“50 gold. I just wanted to let you know. Aveline will lock him up before noon if nobody shows up.” Cassandra added making Marian place down her toothbrush.

“Maker! That’s one third of my rent!”

He was definitely not worth it. She thought that some days in jail could do his broody ass some good. But she was the Captain and losing their goalkeeper meant they wouldn’t be able to participate in the University Tournament. That team was her life! Her family. She couldn’t let them down. “He’ll owe me big time! And stop doing that.”

“Do what?”

“Fix everyone.”

They hung up shortly after and Marian tossed her phone away without checking if the first missed call was from someone else. She changed into an oversized maroon hoodie with the University logo on it and a pair of black leggings.

After she shoved her phone in her pocket, she left the warmth of her apartment for the cold air of the city. Her car wasn’t any warmer and when she sat down and started the engine, she turned on the heat.

She had to drive by the Royal Bank of Ferelden in order to withdraw the money for the bail. That was her money. She had earned it all by herself. Although her mother had arranged for her to receive enough to pay her rent, she had chosen to find a job.

The coin felt heavy in her purse and when she parked near the Police Department and headed inside, she felt stupid for listening to Cassandra.

Marian found herself standing in the middle of the waiting room, observing not so innocent people coming and going.

It took some time for the officer in the glass booth to call her and she moved to her with a bitter smile.

“I need your signature here and we’re done.” She handed Marian an old pen and when she signed and handed the money, the officer picked the blue phone next to her and dialed slowly. “Mr. Fenris is free to go.”

She also handed her a statement of release and Marian moved away from the cubicle with a bigger frown. Her hands were freezing and she quickly shoved them into her sleeves. She would scold him for good this time. Such behavior could not be tolerated. The sentences she would use crossed her mind like a well-written script.

She had to wait for some minutes, her foot tapping impatiently on the floor, when another officer appeared along with Fenris by his side. He really looked like shit. His head was hidden inside his black hood. His steps were slow and tired but that didn’t prevent Marian from cursing him.

The officer stopped when they crossed the door. He told him something but Fenris seemed too absorbed in his thoughts. He seemed confused and when his eyes met Marian’s, his face had the most disgusted expression one could have. His eyes were also red. Marian was sure that he was so screwed now.

“Hawke.” The same broodiness escaped from his lips. Something like a poison that killed softly.

“That’s how you greet someone who just saved your ass from jail?” Marian said walking to the door. “Care to explain?”

Fenris didn’t spoke a word, making Marian wonder about the worst. “A thank you wouldn’t kill you, Fenris.”

They walked outside after Marian’s failed attempts to at least find out what had led to his arrest.

“Get in!” Her voice was loud when he noticed him walking away from her car.

“No.”

“I’ll get you home.” She felt the wind tousling her hair.

“I prefer walking.” Fenris turned around instantly ignoring Marian’s annoyed face.

“Hey!” Her voice didn’t seem to change the fact that he was ignoring her. “I’m talking to you, stupid elf!”

A loud moan escaped her mouth but the noise from how she’d shut the driver’s door had covered it. She started walking towards him, observing how the black-clothed figure seemed not to care if she followed him or not. “What the hell, Fenris? Why are you acting like the biggest asshole in the world?”

Marian’s attempts were futile. The more she asked the more he kept his silence. She started running and finally found herself in front of him. His face was covered by white tufts that hid his tense eyes.

“You can’t get yourself arrested for both trespassing and possession and then expect me to take it all in like nothing happened!”

“Why care?” Fenris’ mouth allowed a few words to reach her ears. The whitish lines on his neck and chin felt a little itchy when his eyes met hers.

“This team is my family!” Her fingers had started feeling the magic reaching their tips. “You are acting like a brat that cares only about himself! This is not why we are in this team.”

“You don’t know me.”

“And Ι don’t want to know you!” She clenched her teeth so tightly that something could break if she pushed harder. She wanted so badly to firebolt his ass. That would give him a valuable lesson but cost her many things at the same time.

“All I see is you and your disgusting magic trying to—“ He took a breath. If his face got more tense it could break. “Forget it.”

“Disgusting magic?”

“Do you prefer sinful?”

“Are you out of your mind? Did Elfroot fry your brain?”

“Pathetic.”

He was angry.

If he had a great sword he would’ve attacked everyone around him, including the source of his frustration.

“You are pathetic! Look at yourself! What are you? A junkie? I can’t believe that Bull brought you in our team! Are you even a student?”

“I don’t have to explain anything to you, mage.”

“Oh I see. You have a problem with me being a mage, don’t you?”

“I thought I was already clear about that.” The green in his eyes darkened. The tips of his mouth couldn’t arch more.

“Fine!” Marian folded her arms on her chest to avoid using her magic against him. “Run away like a mutt then.”

The word infuriated him and the next thing Marian saw was his tattoos glowing.

“What’s this?” She stepped back unable to understand.

“Shut. Up!”

Fenris moved to her and grabbed her hoodie. Her face was inches away from his. She didn’t move. The anger on his eyes paralysed her. She could feel magic flowing from his body but she was sure he wasn’t a mage. Then what?

She tried to speak but her words were instantly suppressed.

“What the hell?”

“Are you alright, Miss?” A passerby dared to shout and she finally broke free from his hold.

“Stop bothering me.” He hissed and then started walking away from her.

“Fine! Run away… jerk…” Marian tried to calm down.

“Hey.” The passerby’s voice attracted her attention at once. “Did that man hurt you? Do you want me to call the police?”

“No. It’s fine…” She lifted her eyes to see a man with long blondish hair looking at her worriedly. “He’s just an asshole.”

“If you say so.” He smiled at her.

“Thanks anyway. Sorry for bothering you.”

“I was doing my civil duty.”

That made her smile, but her face was a bit tense, though.

“Glad to hear that. I’m Marian. Thanks again.”

“Anders.”

“Do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar.”

“I work at Café Celene. If you’ve ever heard of it.”

“No way! That’s my favorite place!”

“Really? Are you a regular?” He seemed as surprised as she was.

“Yes! I really love your Iced Vandal Aria!”

“Then you must know Valena.”

“Maker yes! That girl knows how to make coffee!”

“I enjoy it as well. Although, I need something stronger to keep up with payrolls, vendors and taxes.”

“You’re an accountant?” She tried to hold back a little but the man seemed to have awakened her chatty side.

“Do I not look like one?”

She smiled instead. “If you don’t have anything else to do, would you like to have some coffee? I was planning to get one from Celene’s before brunch.”

“I— What about your work?”

“It’s my day off.”

She thought about it for a second. He seemed like a nice guy and she had definitely seen him before. Anders should’ve been one of those sitting at the stools near the bar. He was definitely older than her but that didn’t concern her.

“Why not?”

Her answer was spontaneous. She needed some time to clear her head. She would have to deal with a major issue during practice. Some coffee and a nice chat could at least help her relax a little before the inevitable.

 

***

“Hey Fen, I heard you got arrested.”

“It wasn’t a big deal…” Fenris’ voice was colder than ice.

“Won’t you tell your bro what happened?”

“No.”

“Were you looking for him, again?”

The man’s voice made Fenris growl at his phone. “Easy boy. I’m just worried about you.”

“I don’t need your concern, Slim.”

“Fine. What about info then?”

Fenris didn’t answer. He just sat on his couch with a loud noise and placed his feet on the table. There were numerous pizza boxes on it, messily lying one on top of the other. When he tried to cross them, one of the empty elfroot beer bottles landed on the bare floor with a loud noise.

“Are you still there, Fen?”

“Talk.”

“Some of the guys saw a woman sniffing around our usual spot. She had a picture of you with her, asking around.”

“Describe her.”

“Dark hair, blue eyes with a touch of beautiful cruelty on her face. She didn’t seem Fereldan.”

“Hadriana…” Fenris murmured to himself. He could feel the tattoos burning his flesh as he recalled her face.

“Do you know her?”

“Yes.” His fingers squeezed the phone in pain. “She’s a Magister. She must be staying in the city.”

“I can find out where if you want. It’ll cost you something extra of course. No questions asked.”

“How much?” Another growl escaped his throat.

“Relax, Fen. The boys need money, you know.”

“How much, Slim?”

“Twenty-five gold.”

“When?”

“A couple of days, maybe. I’ll let you know when the boys find out.”

“Deal.”

The man laughed a little before answering him and after some minutes Fenris hung up. He couldn’t stay in his flat any longer so he stood up and went to the only place he could think.

He had things to consider…

 

Fenris looked around the empty room with the blue lockers for a while. He could listen to people talking loudly outside but his mind was occupied.

How the hell had that woman found him?

Hadriana was a person whom he would gladly kill with his own hands. If she was in New Amaranthine, then it meant that someone else, more ominous, would soon find him. He didn’t know how she had ended up in the city. He was sure that after spending some time at Skyhold they wouldn’t be able to track him down.

He was wrong.

That woman was dangerous. So dangerous that she still haunted his dreams at night. As much as he tried to forget, the memories of her beating him and denying his meals was always there, dogging him day after day.

The noise at the door brought him back at once and when he looked, he found the huge Qunari looking at him.

“Bull.” His voice was indifferent but the Qunari didn’t drop his smile.

“I didn’t see you coming, Broody.” He walked in holding a net full of small balls. “You are two hours early for practice.”

“I couldn’t stay at home.”

Bull didn’t say anything. He understood his reasons. He knew that Fenris was still trying to find a way to pay him back for what he’d done for him some summers ago. Every time he looked at his troubled face, Bull could see the terrified face of the young elf hiding in the boot of his van during the Fireball Semi-finals in Minrathous.

For some reason, Fenris had the same expression as that day. It made him wonder if something bad had happened.

He placed the net away and then sat next to him on the wooden bench.

“You know you can tell me everything, don’t you?”

“I’m not in trouble, if that’s what you mean.”

“Trouble?” He couldn’t but laugh. “You are always in trouble. Marian called me an hour ago.”

“Of course she did…” He tried not to yell and placed his elbows on his knees, gently lowering his head to them. “And?”

“You got arrested for trespassing and possession but didn’t call me.”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds like your typical Tuesday.”

“Don’t start with that, again.” His eyes lost sight of the grey floor. “I’m too tired for this shit.”

“Well, shit keeps happening whether you like it or not. This is how this goddamn world works.” Bull’s voice was sincere and Fenris could do nothing but agree for once more.

“I’ll kill her.”

“Marian?”

“Not her.” For once his voice was a little calmer. “But if she keeps pissing me off I’ll consider it.”

“I’ve already told you, first you call me and then you think how to take people out of the way!” He didn’t respond. “Come on, Broody!”

Fenris felt his large hand on his shoulder. He didn’t move though. He was used to it.

“And owe you more? I don’t think so. You’ve already done more than enough.”

“You owe me nothing.”

“My freedom is all I've got, Bull. It's mine and no-one can take it away from me. I'm no-one's slave!”

“So serious?”

“Hadriana’s here. She was sniffing around for me at the Skate Park. Slim’s boys saw her.”

“Vashedan! What are you gonna do?”

It was strange for a man like him to show worry about an elf that caused only trouble to him.

“I’m tired running away. He has to pay for what he’s done to me. I thought he was in town. That’s why that policewoman arrested me for trespassing. But he sent his dog instead to take me in.”

“You haven’t spoken about him for a long time.” Bull’s face was coloured by disgust and anger. You still want to grasp him in the jaws of the aban-ataashi?”

“He makes me sick.”

Fenris tried not to let his emotions guide him. He failed, though. The marks on his skin started burning his flesh as his first memory flashed before his eyes. It wasn’t neither his mother nor a sweet lullaby, but the face of a man whose sardonic laughter gave away his cruel intentions. “That’s why I have to kill him.”

His nails were shoved deep into his flesh. It was nothing compared to his flesh burning. “Both of them deserve to go to hell for what they’ve done!”

“Just take it easy, boy.” Bull tried again but Fenris was already devoured by his memories. “You are not some scum like Slim’s boys.”

“Take it easy?”

He snapped and Bull saw him standing up, tattoos glowing a bright blue that knew well what it meant.

“Will taking it easy get rid of these awful marks that burn my skin? Will it take back years of abuse? Will it bring back my memories? Will it!?” His breath was faster. “The answer is no. What is touched by magic remains spoiled forever.”

“It won’t. But it’ll help you think clear. Ashkost kata, Broody.”

“Think clear?” Fenris yelled at him, his fists waiting lethally on his sides. “He deserves no mercy! Danarius deserves only a slow and painful death by my hand.”  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this was a FenrisxHawke Chapter. Well.. okay Anders found a way through...  
> I felt so sad about Fenris when I wrote this Chapter but it had to be done.  
> Thank you for your support and comments!
> 
> Qunlat  
> Vashedan: Crap  
> Grasp him in the jaws of the aban-ataashi: Crush him utterly and leave no trace of his existence  
> Ashkost kata: You are seeking death


	12. Hunter's Pie

 

“I leave you alone for like ten minutes and the next thing I know is that you walk away in the middle of the night… again! The next day you watch sunrises and play videogames with Theron!”

“I wasn’t feeling well and It’s not a big deal. It was… a friendly thing… just videogames…”

“You mean Theron invited you up there just to see the sunrise in a friendly way? He definitely didn’t do that! He’s into you, Ellana.”

“No! Maybe... I don’t know…”

“Definitely a yes then.” Marian’s voice put a little frown on her face. “I bet that if it wasn’t for the roommate he would have made a move.”

“No!”

“Don’t you want him to make a move? I thought you liked him, too.”

“I… just… can we talk about something else? It’s rather complicated…”

“Complicated? I’d say it smells suspiciously of cologne, but where’s my proof?”

“What proof?”

She tried not to think of the obvious.

“That you’ve met another guy!”

“Don’t be absurd… it’s nothing like that!”

“So you did meet someone! At the party?”

“Marian…”

“Did you? Please tell me! Oh shit… poor Theron, though…”

“Diana! It’s not like that…”

“Okay… Is something wrong, Ellana? You sound a bit off… I’m just messing with you. I hope you didn’t misunderstand—“

“No… I… just woke up too early and I’m not in the best mood… That’s all.”

“Are you sure? You had me worried twice this week. If you are having trouble with your classes or someone’s picking on you I can take care of him. Wait! Is that elf professor still bothering you? I hope not!”

“No…”

Ellana stretched her legs a little, feeling the morning dew with her palm. She had forced herself to walk around the entire campus, avoiding places he was likely to appear. Then she decided to find a spot at the Sports field, waiting for Marian in case she decided to come early for practice.

“Why are you on campus so early on a Monday? I thought you hated Mondays.”

“Why are _you_ up so early in the morning?”

“Even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me…”

“Try me…”

She tried to fix her thick scarf spilling some of her hot chocolate on the grass.

“I was at the Police Station…”

“What?”

Ellana almost dropped her cup.

“That jerk got himself arrested.”

“That jerk? Fenris?”

“That bloody idiot!” Her voice made Ellana’s head hurt a little. “I had to bail him out and he didn’t even say thank you! I told you there’s something wrong with him.”

“It sounds serious.”

“I know! I’m just waiting for the right moment to kick him out, whether coach likes it or not.”

“I see.”

“Yeah… That bigot will get what he deserves!”

“What did they arrest him for?”

“Trespassing private property and, surprise, surprise, drugs!”

“Creators… that is bad. He must be having a hard time.”

“Ellana!” Her voice was loud in her ears. “Don’t show concern about that bastard! Just don’t!”

“But…” She tried not think about it. Fenris was an elf and that was mainly the reason she had come to wonder a little about him. The marks on his skin were unusual. There was magic oozing from them. It wasn’t natural.

“I will be at the Sports facility in about twenty minutes. Will you be there?”

“I have a class in thirty minutes.”

“Great!” Her voice was suddenly sweeter. “I have some good news as well. See you there!”

“Bye.”

Marian hung up and Ellana took a deep breath. For some reason the only problems she had around here involved the presence of elves. At least Sera was okay.

She let herself daydream a little, trying not to think about her professor and that messed up situation she had got herself into.

The buzzing in her pocket woke her up immediately and she dragged it to her ear without looking at the caller. The voice on the other side of the line made her feel comfortable. It was exactly the person she needed to hear in order to put her troubled mind at ease.

“I miss you so much, ma ashalan.”

“I miss you, too.”

“How are you? Is everything alright? Are they treating you well? Are you eating?”

“Yes, mamae. Don’t worry!”

A little smile appeared on her face.

“I’m asking too many things, aren’t I?”

Ellana listened to her giggling a little. She had heard the same questions too many times the past few months.

“How are you? The Halla?”

“I’m fine, da’len. The Halla are healthy. We delivered five healthy babies yesterday. Ghilan’nain enansal!”

“That’s great, mamae.”

“I have some news.”

She heard every word her mother had to say in anticipation. The lines of her face shifted as she listened.

“Okay. Make sure she has my number.”

“Thank you, da’len. Do you want me to send you anything? Herbs?”

“I’m fine for the time, thanks.”

“Dareth shiral, ma da’len. Take care of yourself.”

“I will. Bye.”

She put her phone away and lay back on the wet grass minding not if she got dirt on her hair and coat.

The sky was fluffy and white. Not the same white she was used to but enough to bring back memories of her home.

Ellana waited, glancing at the fluffiness changing shapes until she lost track of time.

 

Marian was there after twenty minutes but Ellana felt like her daydreaming had lasted for ages, slowly consuming her in thoughts that made no sense.

“You seem cheerier than I heard you on the phone.”

“I spoke to my mother. What about you?” Ellana pointed at the smile on her face. Despite her tired face, there were signs she was in a good mood. It couldn’t have been that broody elf, Ellana was sure about that.

“I was having a cup of coffee at Celene’s.”

“Alone?”

Marian giggled a little. It was more of a silly sound.

“A man stood up to that broody idiot while we were fighting… He introduced himself after that broody jerk left. He works as an accountant at the café! Can you believe that?”

“Seems you got lucky. Are you sure about Fenris, though?”

“Sure about what?” Her brows moved to the centre of her face. She had that disgusted look on her face, which Ellana had identified as ‘Fenris trouble’.

“That something more serious is not going on.”

“Why do you even care, Ellana? He’s an ass!”

“I know— I’m sorry.”

“Is it because he’s an elf?”

“He just seems… troubled.”

“Troubled? Try mentally unstable and with an innate hatred for Mages like me and you!” Marian’s words were sharp like daggers.

“All I say is that he might have his reasons to act like that… You didn’t see—”

“I already know that! Everyone has their own problems! You have, I have, all the people around here have! But I don’t see any of us being complete assholes about it! Do you see me supporting that elf professor of yours for freezing the hell out of your hand? Did I say that he did what he did because he has some weird _reasons_ that justify his action?”

“Marian…”

_Reasons… Reason… I…_

“Maker!” Marian folded her arms on her chest. The smell of wet grass found its way into her nostrils as she took a deep breath. Ellana remained silent, allowing her some seconds to calm down a little.

She wasn’t wrong.

“I’m sorry…” Her voice attracted Marian’s eyes from her shoes. “You must think I’m a terrible friend…”

“What?” Marian shouted, her lips forming a sad line that made Ellana copy her. “Don’t say that! I didn’t mean… Maker! What has got into you? Is that Skyhold thing still bothering you?”

“No… I don’t know…”

“Do you know what Sera would say if she saw us now?”

Ellana nodded and Marian started mimicking Sera’s peculiar voice. “You two are smart, but you’re sort of stupid! Piss!”

“Sounds like her…”

“Actually… she already called me an ‘arse-biscuit’ for calling her this morning.”

Ellana laughed, making Marian feel a little better. They had their problems but letting them out like that wasn’t the answer.

“You wanted to say something before I…”

Her words made her wonder if she should share the airport incident. She should’ve told her earlier.

“Have you noticed these weird marks on his neck?”

“Seriously?”

“I mean, have you noticed anything weird about them?”

“Not really…” Marian tried hard to think. “He usually wears those long-sleeved shirts all the time. Why?”

“At the airport… I saw those things on his skin glow…”

“Glow?”

“Like magically glow.”

“Magically? You saw the biggest mage hater _magically_ glow?”

“Sort of… I don’t know. It felt like magic…”

“Seems quite off. But he can’t be a mage. He doesn’t have a Mage aura. How could he?”

“Lyrium?”

“Don’t be absurd! He can’t be a Templar!”

“Because he’s a _jerk_?”

“No… because he’s an elf.”

The words made Ellana think. “The Chantry has specific rules about joining the Order… especially after the Kirkwall Scandal.”

“Meaning?”

“Where had you been, Ellana?” Marian shouted but then realised. “Right… Five years ago the Order recruited two Alienage elves only to find out that they were Qunari spies. Imagine their faces when they found out that the two elves were also smuggling Lyrium!”

“Oh…”

Ellana was aware that any crime concerning Lyrium in those parts was a felony. Humans had different ideas about the uses and abuses of Lyrium. Her clan, though, would use it without thinking about it too much.

“They only accept Human recruits now for obvious reasons.”

“I can imagine.” She looked at her watch only for the shake of doing something, minding not to check if it was time for his class.

So many things were going on outside her protective Dalish bubble. So many things she wouldn’t be aware of if it wasn’t for that scholarship.

“Probably broody face belongs to a cult or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is a follower of the Qun.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you should be careful…”

“Careful? No! He should be careful!”

“I forgot…” She spoke absentmindedly. “My Keeper will visit me on Thursday.”

“Really?” Marian tried to interpret her face. “Is this a good or a bad thing?”

“Good thing!” Ellana shouted a little. It was going to be a little weird but seeing her Keeper could fix a lot of her problems, whether she told her or not about them.

“Can I meet her?” The question was weird in her ears. “I mean if she doesn’t have a problem with me being a what do you call us?”

“Shemlen… Well, Keeper doesn’t have a problem with humans in general. In fact, we might be the only clan that’s trading openly with you. The other clans are a bit skeptical about it...”

“I see. I haven’t met a Keeper before! Another Dalish Mage!”

“Yeah.”

“Does she know how to turn into a dragon?”

Ellana burst into laughter the moment Marian’s eyes filled with hope. She couldn’t help it. “Ellana! It’s not funny! Stop it!”

“You haven’t forgotten about it yet?”

“Of course not! Who doesn’t want to learn how to transform into a dragon! Can you ask her at least? I’ll come pick you up if you do!”

“I will! You don’t have to come and pick us, though.”

“Thank you! But I’ll do it any way. Airport or train station?”

“Train station…”

“Come on! You don’t have to feel like you owe me for that!”

“But—“

“No buts.” Marian smiled again. “There’s also—“

“Fenedhis!” Ellana suddenly stood up, grabbing her bag from the grass clumsily. “I’m late! See you after practice?”

Marian nodded and watched her running away.

“Run! To the Deep Roads!” She mimicked Sera’s voice again. She wasn’t sure if she had heard it but for her, it was hilarious.

 

***

“Can you name what you see?”

Solas lifted a wooden tablet from his desk decorated with little golden pieces that formed a face.

_What?_

Ellana could listen to only one thing, though.

Not even the somewhat familiar and mysterious figure of the woman sitting behind his desk mattered. She knew who it was. Or she had guessed by the persistent chatter that followed her entrance.

“I thought your class was distinguished by sharpness and brilliance, professor.”

Her voice was harsh but maintained her politeness in some way. Ellana could feel his eyes on her but neither lifted her gaze to see nor to respond.

“Lethanavir—Friend to the Dead, Guide my feet, calm my soul, Lead me to my rest.”

Not even that made her speak.

He wondered if her mind was still troubled due to their morning encounter.

The woman stood up elegantly distracting him a little. She had noticed the only Dalish elf in the room. It had intrigued her at first. She had encountered numerous Dalish who boasted about their knowledge and heritage.

That Dalish, though, was silent. The thought of her professor scolding her put a smirk on her face. She knew him, if not well, then enough to know his practices.

“Falon’Din, for those who don’t know or have forgotten. Overseer of funerals and guide to the Elven dead. It is said the Dalish invoke him on their deathbed, or before quests from which they expect no return. It’s a shame we can’t confirm this statement, right professor?”

It was obvious what she was trying to do. But getting Ellana to answer seemed not to be the best idea. Finding comfort in silence must have been a sort of defence.

“You at the back. What’s her name?”

Her voice made Solas frown.

Ellana seemed perfectly still, lost in her own troubled thoughts. There was beauty in her face when she did that. A rare moment since he had got used to her disagreeing and frowning.

“Miss Lavellan.” Solas’ voice was bitter but it wasn’t because of Ellana.

“You’re Dalish, right? Or this on your face is just an expression of some trend?”

“Proudly.” She finally looked at the woman. Sleek black hair was drawn on a messy bun, eyes in the colour of the sun and lips ready to speak harshly.

“So? Can you enlighten us?”

“I?”                                

Her cheeks felt hotter and a sudden yet familiar giggle made her ears copy them.

“I don’t see anyone else with vallaslin on their faces now, do I?”

What was the question? She couldn’t ask. That would make her feel more embarrassed.

“Who’s that Fall on Dean guy? Can’t we talk about something else? Less rubbishy?”

Sera winked at her despite receiving Solas’ strict gaze.

“Falon’Din… My clan’s hunters asked for his blessing when we fought bandits. Our Keeper taught them the prayers.”

“Interesting. But I do not believe they sing songs about Falon’Din’s vanity.”

Solas couldn’t restrain himself as much as he had tried to avoid any unpleasant situation. He had to be perfect, especially today that his _colleague_ had decided to stay and observe. What he wanted from her was the wooden tablet, a smaller replica of the mosaic found in the Temple of Mythal. But she had insisted on staying.

“Interesting indeed.” The woman folded her arms on her chest, waiting for either him or her to answer.

“Do you know more, professor?”

Solas tried to hide his little smile by turning towards the desk. His eyes examined the elven face made of golden pieces causing another little smile that faded when he spoke.

“It is said Falon’Din’s appetite for adulation was so great, he began wars to amass more worshippers. The blood of those who wouldn’t bow low filled lakes as wide as oceans. Mythal rallied the gods, once the shadow of Falon’Din’s hunger stretched across her own people. It was almost too late. Falon’Din only surrendered when his brethren bloodied him in his own temple.”

“My clan never told a story like that about Falon’Din.”

Ellana’s voice forced out a silent chuckle. Her words reconfirming everything they had discussed before.

“The farther the Dalish spread, the further their stories branch and grow. One must be able to distinguish whether or not these stories are evidence of ‘true’ Elvhen culture.”

“Stories that branch and grow…”

Ellana repeated his words lowly, her sudden melancholy breaking free from the corners of her lips. Solas didn’t add anything else. It would be pointless to dispute about what was wrong and what was right with her. Instead, he turned to the woman and walked back to his desk, distancing himself from Ellana’s recollection.

Those bits and pieces.

They were enough to make her think. To make her wonder if that man’s journeys into the Fade could give answers to questions that had recently found their way into her head.

 _Branch and grow…_ _into lies?_

The thought wasn’t pleasant and the more she thought about it the more uncomfortable she felt.

“Miss Morrigan,” Solas finally looked at his watch. “if you have anything else to add about the mosaics please do. We are running out of time.”

“You are the _expert_ , professor.”

Her tone reminded him of the countless conversations he had with her during meaningless conferences. Her face had that same smile.

“Very well.”

He tried to direct his questions towards the rest of his class. They seemed willing to participate despite their limited knowledge of the Elven Pantheon. However, their discussion seemed both boring and somewhat incomplete without her.

 

***

Ellana was waiting impatiently. The various people walking away from the platform made her impatience grow.

She scanned various people leaving the railway wagons hurriedly when her eyes finally caught two elves chatting. The vallaslin on their faces made her move a little but they weren’t the one she was expecting.

It took various minutes before she found a woman waving at her. She clearly stood out from the rest. Her clothes and peculiar face had already attracted some attention.

“Keeper!” Ellana’s voice was lost in the colorful crowd.

“Aneth era, da’len.” Her mouth seemed strict but the words sounded sweet.

“Ar vhalla ma, Keeper.”

Her blue eyes made Ellana feel nostalgic.

She seemed so calm despite the crowd and the unfamiliarity of the place. But she was a woman who had travelled to Human cities before. Nothing could surprise her anymore.

Well, perhaps one little thing…. But Ellana wasn’t going to share it anyway. She smiled at her and added a few more greetings before walking away towards the parking lot. Ellana wondered what would her Keeper think about the city. What would she think about her University, her new friends?

“Your mother sends you her love. She prays you’re doing well.”

“Ma serannas.”

Speaking in their language felt a bit weird. It was the way she spoke, the way she pronounced the words. It was different from the way he did.

“The clan misses you, da’len.”

“I miss them, too.”

Ellana didn’t add anything else. They would have plenty of time to catch up in her room.

Her Keeper followed Ellana silently, observing how some shemlens were examining her face in awe. It felt like she was an exhibit. A piece of History walking among them.

No ordinary person would walk the streets of a Human city wearing what she did. Dalish Keeper robes had that effect. The Keeper was aware of it. But she didn’t mind showing that she was different from them. She was proud to be Dalish.

“Ellana!”

The voice attracted her attention from the people around them. She was a bit worried that Marian was going to meet her Keeper. But she had been begging for hours. Marian wanted to help. It made Ellana wonder why she was so kind to her.

“Anduran atash’ian!” Marian mumbled, a broad but shy smile decorated her face.

“You are Ellana’s friend, right?” The woman’s face made Marian think if she had said the greeting correctly. “I thank you for your help and I’m sorry for your trouble.”

“No trouble at all!” Marian smiled again a bit relieved.

The Keeper moved into the back seat and Ellana put her small suitcase in the boot.

“Did I say it right?” Marian whispered to her.

“Close enough.” Ellana nodded. “Keeper won’t mind anyway.”

“Maker! Why didn’t you tell me right away?” Marian tried to be quiet but failed.

“It’s not a big deal. Sometimes it’s tricky even for us.”

“It was my make-a-good-first-impression line…”

“Don’t think about it.” Ellana reassured her and they both moved into the car.

Marian drove them to Ameridan’s quietly.

The Keeper seemed to enjoy the view of her surroundings instead of making questions about this and that. Ellana knew that she wouldn’t only speak to fill the awkward silence. She was a very patient woman and despite her strict look, she was actually very loving and caring.

“I hope you enjoy our city.” Marian’s voice was full of excitement when they left her car.

“Thank you.” The Keeper replied softly. “Dareth shiral.”

They waited until Marian’s car was lost from their sight. “Your friend seems very nice, da’len.”

“She is.” Ellana hurried to answer. That was a good sign.

“So, this is your Dorm. It looks bigger than the pictures you sent, da’len.”

“It’s pretty big.”

The woman smiled again and Ellana finally showed her the way to the second floor. She tried not to pay attention to the students examining them in the elevator. It made her wonder if her Keeper would say something about it.

They walked silently to her room, her Keeper looking casually at the rest of the doors. There was a weird smell in the hall and Ellana tried not to chuckle. She hoped her Keeper would find everything satisfying.

That little fear that she would disapprove was still in her head. After all, her Keeper was the one that had supported her decision to study here. Ellana wanted everything to be perfect and show her Keeper that standing up to her clan’s elders was worth it.

She finally opened the door and a delicious smell welcomed them both.

“Ghi'myelan bradhe?” The woman inhaled deeply.

“Dad’s recipe.”

The smell carried not only appetite but memory. It was her father’s favourite, always enjoying it after a good hunt with her clan’s hunters.

When he passed away, that smell was there to remind her of their precious moments. It wasn’t sad but nostalgic. He meant so much to her.

“My brother would’ve been so proud. Seranna will be pleased to know you don’t forget were you come from.”

Ellana smiled. “I’ll leave your suitcase here, Keeper.”

“Da’len, you don’t have to use formalities with me. We aren’t in our camp anymore.”

The words were familiar in her ears.

“Habit.”

“I see.”

“Calling you ma'asa'ma'lin is a bit weird…”

She placed her small suitcase carefully next to her bed. “How was your trip?”

“Very good. The amount of time shemlens spend on examining a Dalish, though, doesn’t cease to amaze me.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Are they treating you well here, da’len?”

Ellana moved to the kitchen as the woman sat comfortably on her bed.

“It was a bit difficult at first. But it’s alright now. I have met some interesting people.”

“Shemlen?” Her voice was curious.

“Not all of them.” Ellana mumbled proudly, slicing a piece from her freshly baked pie. “There are elves and dwarfs staying at this dorm as well.”

“Elves?”

“They are studying here. It’s good for a change, I suppose. This city is so big.”

“I’m glad to hear that, da’len. I was worried at first.”

“Worried?”

Ellana already knew the answer to that.

“As everyone in our clan was. Despite how big or how colourful this city is, da’len, the Dalish are always a weird sight.”

There was a moment of silence between them. “But I would like you to know that I’m proud of you. You’ve done what no-one in our clan has ever attempted.”

“Really?”

“Yes, da’len. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for you. How they’ve treated you or how many things you keep to yourself in fear you’ll make us sad. But I see you are good here. Your mother would love to hear that. She worries a bit too much for you.”

“She does that…”

Ellana finally put the slice on a plate and handed it to her Keeper.

“A mother’s concern is the most natural thing in the world.” The woman’s voice was soothing. “It’s how I feel about everyone in our clan. We might be a slightly bigger one but still a family. And every family needs someone it can rely on, share its problems and ask for guidance. Sometimes this duty can hurt you and make you feel lonely. But in the end, it is the most rewarding thing in the world. By looking at you, Ellana, ma Sael, I feel that thing. You remind me of how far we can go and how much we can accomplish. Your family will always be by your side.”

The Keeper’s words flooded her mind.

They reminded her the reason she had been studying so hard. When her Keeper spoke like that it always made her doubts go away. She was going to be something important. A person whom her larger family could depend on.

Ellana wanted to be that person more than anything. She wanted to help a much as she could. But recently she had found the same responsibility she had embraced scaring her a little.

“Is it good?”

Her Keeper had a bite from her pie.

“Ma serannas, da’len. It’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I think I might have accidentally caught the Blight on my way to Crestwood Village!  
> Just kidding... seriously though I'm going through the nastiest cold I've ever had. There were things I wanted to write but had to stop every five minutes because of that awful cough I'm still trying to get over. I'll try to upload the next chapter as well. 
> 
> A little about Ellana's mother:  
> I wanted Seranna to be the clan's First Hunter (if something like this exists) after her husband died. I'm estimating her to be around 50+ and, although she goes out for hunting, her role is more of a consulting, getting the job right thing. I also imagine her being responsible for the Halla that drag the aravels, caring and nursing the cute Halla babies. I sort of based her on my own mother. By the way, she has been seeing me playing all DA games since 2009 and occasionally asks (now during the Holidays) what I'm doing/playing now. She saw Solas once during the Haven cutscene and called him something that I've tried hard to translate as accurately as I can since we are not native English speakers: A bald pointy-ear [creature walking around covered entirely with bandages while wearing a long black coat. Btw it enjoys punishing little children if they misbehave]. Yeah... This is the translation of a five letter word in my language... Thanks, mom. You just turned Solas into a pervert!  
> But now that I think about it... she might have called my Lavellan the same thing because of the ears, I guess. So, I believe this can be the perverted aspect of solavellan hell. (Creators...)
> 
> Also, thinkfirst, this line was for you: "Yeah... That bigot (Fenris) will get what he deserves!" Thank you for your feedback! :D
> 
> Diana: Stop  
> Fenedhis: Crap  
> Ma ashalan: My daughter  
> Mamae: Mom  
> Da'len: Little one  
> Ghilan'nain enansal: Ghilan’nain’s blessing  
> Shemlen: Humans  
> [O Falon'Din] Lethanavir—Friend to the Dead, Guide my feet, calm my soul, Lead me to my rest: Elven Prayer of the Dead  
> Aneth ara: A friendly greeting, more commonly used among the Dalish themselves rather than with outsiders. (Literally: "My safe place")  
> Ar vhalla ma: Welcome  
> Ma Serannas: Thank you  
> Anduran atash’ian: Mispronounced by Marian. Andiran atish’an: Enter this place in peace. A formal elven greeting.  
> Dareth shiral: Safe journey  
> Ghi'myelan bradhe: Hunter’s Pie  
> Ma'asa'ma'lin: Aunt


	13. The Lost Boy

Despite the silence of the room, Ellana felt comfortable with her Keeper reading her book and asking her about her life in the University. It felt like her mother was there. If only she could have made it…

But their clan’s responsibilities couldn’t be overlooked.

Her Keeper wouldn’t stay for long. She had only come for the night. Then she would visit the Dalish Clan staying at the Exalted Plains. She had been invited by their Keeper to attend his First’s funeral. Ellana had once saw a picture of that man. She’d thought Keeper Hawen looked like a grumpy old man.

“Deshanna?” Ellana called her from the bathroom. The Dalish woman was sitting on her bed, writing something in a small leather journal with green leaves. She looked younger under the soft light. Her hair was beautifully drawn into a careful braided bun that Ellana always liked but never quite managed to get it right.

“Yes, da’len?”

“I was wondering if you would like to go out for a walk… It’s alright if you’re tired. You are leaving early tomorrow so…”

“Don’t worry about me, da’len. A walk sounds good.” Deshanna smiled and then put her glasses on the bedtable next to her.

It didn’t take them long to get ready and the two of them found themselves walking towards the old streets of New Amaranthine. The weather was cold but her Keeper didn’t mind at all, wearing only her elegant Keeper robes without shoes.

The city seemed _different_.

Ellana hadn’t noticed until it was dark enough to see them. There were hundreds of lights everywhere, wrapped around street lights, the riverside barriers and the old buildings.

It was something extraordinary for her eyes. The sight was unfamiliar but filled her with wonder. There were people walking on the streets instead of hanging out at a cafeteria or a bar as they usually did when the weather was bad.

“These weren’t here yesterday!” She remarked trying to get a picture of numerous lights creating a curtain made of pure white light.

“It is the time of the year that shemlens celebrate the beginning of Umbralis, da’len.”

“Satinalia?” She was surprised. “Is it now?”

Yes, da’len.” The woman responded looking at the bright curtain of lights. “I can assume that the Antivan tradition of celebrating Satinalia for more than a week has found its way here.”

She tried to think why she had totally missed it. She was sure Marian should’ve said something. But she couldn’t recall anything.

“Will your friend spend this holiday back home?”

“I…” She tried hard to recall the slightest thing. “I don’t really know…”

“I see.” Her voice was sweet. “You know, what marks this holiday is the wearing of masks, the fool, large feasts and the giving of gifts. Sounds familiar?”

“Dhea’him Venuralas?”

“In a sense.” Deshanna smiled. “We see Satinalia as an attempt to imitate this ancient tradition of honouring the Creators. If you witness Satinalia then you will be able to tell for yourself.”

“Of course.” Ellana’s mind ran to her studies. Dhea’him Venuralas was something she couldn’t miss.

Every four years, those who had proven themselves worthy of wearing the symbols of their gods would gather at Dirthavaren to celebrate. The shemlens would call it a festival but it was nothing like that.

The shores of Enavuris would turn into a place of honor and respect, not a place of indulgence of the senses.

That Dhea’him Venuralas would be her first and Deshanna would be there to present her officially as her successor in front of every clan along with the other new Keepers.

Ellana had studied that age-old tradition. When she was a child, she would also ask Deshanna and her mother about all the details.

She had once saw Deshanna’s mask. A wooden dragon-like head with numerous colorful feathers that looked like a mane. The Dalish would wear those masks, feast to honour Andruil, dance under the starry sky to honour their gods and, in the end, burn the one who betrayed them.

The last part always made her uneasy. Although it was a celebration of their Creators, some would wear the mask of Fen’Harel to scare the youngest, more naïve vallaslin wearers.

“You shouldn’t think about it, da’len.” Deshanna’s voice distracted her. “The Day of the Gods is not close yet.”

That made her feel a little better.

“I don’t worry about it.”

“It’s alright if you do. I was a little worried when I attended my first one.”

They started walking again, talking about the clan and Ellana’s friends until they ended up at café Celene.

Ellana really enjoyed Deshanna’s calm and content face. She had travelled around Human cities only for the purpose of acquiring knowledge. But that was different.

The foreign music was pleasant to their ears. It was cheery enough to make Ellana hum it unconsciously.

“You told me you have a class on Elven Culture, right?”

“Right…”

A little frown replaced Ellana’s cheerful face at once. Instead of adding something she took a sip from the hot coffee in front of her, minding not the burn on her lips.

“Is something wrong, da’len?”

She didn’t answer until the warm sensation on her throat was gone.

“Not really… It’s just… The professor is a bit weird.”

“A shem?”

“No.” She searched for her napkin. “He’s an Elf.”

“An Elf?” Deshanna was a little confused. “I’m surprised to hear that. Is this man a City Elf?”

“I suppose…”

Ellana tried not to show her own confusion about his origin. She shouldn’t really expand on that topic at all.

“It’s unusual for a City Elf to find himself in such position. Shemlens are quite particular about that. He must be quite _exceptional_ to be granted a position in a University.”

 _Exceptional…_ the word stuck in her head.

“I suppose… He doesn’t act or speak like an Elf, though.”

“City Elves and the Dalish have a lot of differences.”

Ellana already knew that. The Dalish were not fond of them. They considered them the black sheep of the family. “But this is neither the place nor the time to expand on such delicate topics.”

Deshanna smiled at her grabbing her tea. Ellana was glad. She rarely enjoyed conversations that left her a feeling of unhappiness. 

 

“Dareth shiral, Keeper.”

Ellana’s eyes met Deshanna’s one last time before she got into the bus. She waited until she heard the announcement and then the bus disappeared. She didn’t leave immediately. The smell of gas flooded her nose as she breathed.

Ellana didn’t like that smell. It was so bad that made her throat itchy. She finally caught the bus to the city centre. It was too early and the only thing that kept her company was some old shem ladies whispering. It was obvious they were talking about her face and her ears. Old people had a hard time accepting the fact that elves with tattoos on their faces roamed their city.

 _Savages_ … That was the word she had once heard. It had hurt her a little, but didn’t leave a mark. Ellana grabbed her phone in order to cover the whispers that had found their way into her ears. There were messages she had decided not to open until her Keeper left.

 

— Theron 19:50 pm

Hey!  I’ll go out for a drink with the guys around 9 do you want to come?

 

— Theron 21:23 pm

WARNING!!! Zevran has invited himself :/

 

— Theron 21:49 pm

Ellana? Are you coming?

 

She tried not to giggle. She thought he must be having a difficult time with Zevran around. He looked quite _peculiar_.

 

— 8:02 am

Sorry for not replying. My Keeper was in town. Did you have a good time?

 

Ellana didn’t wait for him to answer. It was too early for Theron to be awake. She wondered how their night out was. The capitalised ‘warning’ gave her an idea that put a little guilty smile on her face.

Her phone was silent and she found herself looking outside the cold glass. It was too gray today but that didn’t affect her mood. The whispers finally went away when the bus made a stop and Ellana saw the old ladies walking right next to her window.

She wondered what would happen if she smiled at them. Would that shock them? Make them burst into flames? She giggled a little and let her lips form a broad smile.

To her surprise, one of the old ladies smiled back. She didn’t seem to be listening to the other two chatting loudly. When the bus started, Ellana turned her head and looked at her. She was still smiling.

There were times she thought that what the older Dalish said about humans were true. But that little thing made her feel that their differences weren’t as great as the hahrens believed.   

She waited for her stop silently.

Lately, she had noticed that the feeling of mobility generated thoughts that she couldn’t explain. It was as if she was left all alone, the world spinning faster and faster until it stopped. Ellana had found herself feeling like that when she had taken the train to the city, then again when they went to Skyhold and now.

She couldn’t explain it. Maybe it was caused by her homesickness, although she didn’t feel that could explain it. Homesickness couldn’t affect her mana that way.

The bus stopped and Ellana found herself at the city centre. The light rain encouraged her to stay, wander a little and clear her head before going back to her boring room.

The smell of wet soil was soothing, triggering pleasant memories as she walked. She passed Hubert’s Den and headed towards the little park with the pond. Ellana could see the fog thickening but that was another thing she enjoyed. This whiteness made everything look more familiar.

There was no-one there. Not at first.

As she moved closer to the pond, a weird figure appeared and she slowed down trying to see what was in front of her.

A large round hat.

She thought she’d seen that somewhere but she couldn’t quite recall the encounter. She walked towards the figure, though, and along with it she could hear little squeaking noises.

“Don’t worry, they are used to people.”

The strange voice startled her.

“Excuse me?”

“The nugs.”

“Nugs?”

“It’s quiet today. They like the quiet.”

She moved closer, still unable to see the figure’s face. “Humans used to trap them, but they don't remember them now.”

The figure sat down next to the four pinkish nugs. Ellana saw him giving them something that looked like bread. For some reason, the picture wasn’t that strange.

“Are you taking care of them?”

“If you hold out your hand, they will nuzzle it. It's how they call you friend.”

“So… they are your friends?” She tried again. There was something familiar about that voice.

“Nugs are kind. Almost everything is bigger than they, but they're still happy.”

“I guess they are.” She smiled a little. “I should leave…”

“You have already left. Not once but twice. How does it feel?”

“Excuse me?” Ellana made a step back.

“They left you. Little steps. Cries. All alone but not. It was better.”

“I’m sorry… Are you talking to me?”

“No. Not you but _her_.”

Ellana looked around but there was no-one else around them. The figure stood up silently and the nugs ran away towards the bushes. He turned towards her, removing the strange hat from his head.

“Are you alright?”

His eyes seemed extremely tired. The dark circles made them look narrower and somewhat hollow.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you lost?” Ellana grabbed her phone at once, ready to call someone.

“Lots of things are lost here.”

“Do you want me to call anyone, I mean. You seem…”

“I am here to help. Do you want me to help?”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Ellana made another step back, afraid that the man might be dangerous. His face gave away hints that something was wrong. “I should get going…”

“Leaving is easy. Soothing, easing for the troubled mind. I’ll be here if you need me.”

Ellana started walking away puzzled. His words didn’t make any sense. She hadn’t come across someone like him before. It was rather inevitable for such a big city. It scared her a little but that face made her wonder. It was just a boy. A lost boy who was feeding some nugs at the park.

Ellana moved faster, thinking about that weird hat he was wearing. Images of Skyhold reappeared in her head. The ominous figure standing opposite to her, his teeth sharp and his eyes dripping blood.

She tried to push those thoughts away but new little details resurfaced. She hadn’t blacked out after the Dread Wolf had cast his magic. There was something else. A voice. Her head hurt.

She stopped immediately and turned towards the pond. There was nothing there, only a veil of white fog that covered everything.

Her head emptied as she looked.

“What?” She mumbled to herself unable to remember what she was thinking or what she was looking for.

Ellana felt the rain soaking her head. She looked up only for a moment. Tiny raindrops ran from her forehead to her cheeks.

Then she walked away thinking about those apple rissoles she had with Theron.

 

***

“Hit em hard, hit em fast!”

“Chief? You know we are not supposed to hit them, right?”

“Relax, Krem Brulee. I’m trying to fire you up.”

“I think you actually mean it…” Krem grabbed his water bottle from his bag.

“Chargers!” The coach’s voice was deep and loud. It suited his huge muscular body well. “Why are we here today?”

“To win!”

“That’s the spirit! They won’t even know what hit them!”

“Coach?”

Bull turned around when he heard her voice. He saw the Captain standing at her locker, tossing some things inside and then shutting it with a loud noise.

“Can we talk?”

Despite being twice her size, Krem could see that the huge Qunari was somewhat concerned about what she could do.

“Krem?”

“Don’t get me into this, chief.” He looked at him with a little sly smile.

“Fine.” He stood up and moved towards the showers after her. Bull shut the door behind him knowing that this was going to be loud. The team was used to it by now. All their little fights were about the new player.

“Where is he?”

“Where is who?”

“Don’t mess with me, Bull!”

“Mess with you? Believe me, if I mess with you, you’ll know it.” He smiled but Marian didn’t even move. “Fine… What’s wrong this time?”

“Where’s your _golden_ boy?”

“He’s not here?”

“I’m serious. We have thirty minutes to warm up before the game and he’s nowhere!”

“He’ll come. Don’t worry, boss.”

Marian grumbled folding her fists on her torso.

“I’m not worrying. I want him gone. This works because we are a team. We respect each other. Clearly, he doesn’t even know what that means.”

“Yeah… He’s stupid.”

“Stupid? That’s your answer?” Her face was somewhat scary.

“Asshole? Yeah… Suits him better.”

Marian tried hard not to yell.

“He’s a blasted junkie, Bull! A blasted elf that just wants to attract attention. I won’t even mention that he’s illegally joined us… because he’s not even a bloody student, is he?”

“His situation is _complicated_.”

“Of course… You take his side… What is he to you?”

“A friend…”

“I doubt that.”

“Just give him a chance. He’s not that bad when he’s not brooding all the fucking time.”

“Oh I gave him a chance! I bailed him out for your sake! For our team. I can’t even sit and talk to him. He’s a selfish brat who cares only about himself! If this thing carries on… I’m afraid I’ll have to—“

“Why don’t you, then?”

Marian was caught by surprise.

“That’s it!” Bull shouted. “I’ll give you a time-out, again.”

“What?” Marian turned to him a little shocked as Bull headed towards the door. His bulky figure was lost from her sight as she tried to understand what had just happened.

“You!” She finally turned towards the showers. “You did this?”

“I did nothing…” The voice sounded calmer than usual.

“Come. Out!”

Her voice echoed loudly in the room. She waited for a few seconds but he didn’t appear. “Have it your way, then.”

Marian headed to the door but when she tried to open it, it was impossible.

“What the hell?” She yelled furiously. “Bull! Open the damn door!”

 _“It’s time-out time.”_ His voice infuriated her.

“No! Open the damn door. Now!”

“He won’t.” Fenris’ voice distracted her from burning down the door.

“You are the one behind _this_?” Her voice was harsher but she didn’t turn around.

“I was taking a shower. You are the one who’s not supposed to be in here.”

“Go fu—“

She punched the door one last time before turning around. It wasn’t the first time she’d got a ‘time-out’. It pissed her off that Bull had to do it, again.

Fenris was standing at the white bathroom sinks, wrapping a bandage around his fingers.

“Bull what is t—” She spoke again looking at Fenris’ naked back, a white towel separating them from an embarrassing moment. The weird sight made her think. It was something she’d never seen before.

Lines, branching and swirling, engulfing every piece of his flesh. It was that tattoo thing Ellana had asked her about. She hadn’t seen how far it spread.

There was something in the way those lines looked. Like a tree spreading its branches everywhere. It didn’t look like a normal tattoo.

“Will you be staring for long, Hawke?”

Marian tried hard to move her eyes away from his naked back to his cold reflection.

“What’s this?”

“None of your business.”

“It isn’t normal…” She whispered lowly, the lines were somehow attracting her. She couldn’t tell why. For some reason, she was mesmerised and all she wanted was to touch them. The same feeling of magic but not magic had reappeared. “When did you come?”

“Early.”

“And you said nothing? Are you serious? We’ve been calling you!”

“I was here.” Fenris spoke in the same calm voice that made Marian a little nervous. It wasn’t normal for him to be like that.

“I want you to go.” Marian folded her arms on her chest trying to look away from his cold reflection.

“No.”

“I want you to leave after the game.”

“No.” His voice was now a little closer to his usual one.

“I want you to go!”

“No!”

She lifted her eyes and looked at him. It wasn’t his reflection that was looking back at her, though. She clenched her fists, again, magic surging through her body. She was trying hard to control it.

“You expect me to be okay after that little tantrum of yours on Monday? You’re a sick bastard... And you obviously need professional help.”

He didn’t reply. “Do you even listen to me?”

Fenris turned around and walked towards her. His chest was marked by the same branching lines that reached his chin. It looked beautiful but painful at the same time. Marian couldn’t decide.

“Bull insisted I should talk to you before this stupid _game_.” His voice was more of a growl than words.

“He was wrong.”

“Whatever.”

He was so close that Marian could touch his tattoos. “Now go away.”

“You’re an ungrateful bastard, know that?”

“So I’m told.”

His weird voice puzzled her. Something must’ve happened because that wasn’t the same Fenris that had sort of attacked her on Monday.

“Fine… Fine! Have it your way. I won’t be held responsible for anything that happens to you from now on.”

“Words from a true Apostate, isn’t that right… mage?”

Marian’s eyes narrowed. She wondered how much Bull had told him about her.

“It was my choice.”

“A shame. Didn’t your family consider you dangerous?”

“Just. Shut up!” She yelled at him again unfolding her impatient fists.

“See you at the _ring_ , mage…”

Fenris was lost from her sight. The door was somehow unlocked. Maybe Bull had left it like that all along.

Unpleasant memories and feelings found their way to express themselves through her fists. She hit the white tiles next to her hard.

Again and again and again until her knuckles left their bloody mark on them.

Marian finally took a deep breath and moved towards the sinks. As she poured water on her hand she murmured what he’d told her. It took her a moment to calm down and when she heard Krem calling for her, she wiped her hands with a cloth and went away.

If he wanted a fight, then she’d give him one.

 

Ellana made it to the Sports Field half an hour after the game had begun. She tried hard to find a spot to sit since the terraces were full of people shouting and clapping.

She searched for Marian among those wearing the black uniforms and finally spotted her in the middle of the field, running after a whitish ball. She observed her moving fast towards one of the goals, avoiding the other players who tried to stopped her. It seemed a little brutal. Especially after Ellana saw two players falling down in a rather painful and clumsy way.

The crowd startled her when Marian landed the ball into the net. She had to keep her bag close in order not to lose it. Ellana cheered along with them but Marian could neither listen nor see her.

She spotted Krem and the elven girl they called Dalish celebrating Marian’s goal with the rest. She had already introduced her to the team but she could hardly remember everyone’s names.

It took fifteen minutes before the man with the whistle called for a break. Ellana scanned the field for her and finally watched Marian moving towards her Qunari coach. She was yelling at him; she could tell that.

Ellana decided to stand up and move closer. Marian would feel better if she saw her. It took her some minutes to reach them and finally realised that Marian wasn’t yelling at her coach.

“Marian?” She shouted but Marian didn’t seem to notice her.

“Don’t waste your breath.” The sudden voice made her wonder. “She’s been at it for _hours_!”

“Varric?” She looked at the Dwarven man holding a bag of popcorn.

“I have to admit, Hawke yelling at people is far more entertaining than attending her Fireball games.”

“Have you been here long?”

“Forty minutes or so. And it’s been a delight so far. Do you know Broody over there?”

“Broody? You know him?”

“Only what Marian has told me about him. I also gave him that nickname.”

“You have a nickname for everyone?”

“Well, not everyone. Just the people I find interesting talking to.”

“I see.” She smiled at him wondering if he had come up with one for her.

“In case you’re wondering, yes, I’ve already thought about calling you Unlucky.”

Ellana smiled. “Why?”

“Because of Chuckles but I’ll come up with something better.”

“Okay…” She frowned a little but tried to hide it.

“Here she comes!” Varric shouted and Ellana saw Marian walking towards them.

“You made it! Both of you!”

“Looks like you’re having a little _brooding_ problem over there.” Varric didn’t hesitate to speak.

“I’m this close from kicking his ass!”

She demonstrated with her hand.

“Your fingers are touching.” Varric burst into laughter.

“Exactly!”

“This will be interesting!”

Marian turned around mumbling something.

“Marian! Wait!” Ellana hurried to grab her T-shirt, though. “Varric was joking. You’re not going to hit Fenris, are you?”

“Yes, I am!”

“Won’t they disqualify you if you do?”

“Shit!”

“She’s right, Hawke.” Varric’s voice soothed her a little but she still needed to punch something.

“He’s the worst teammate in the history of teammates!”

“Are you winning?” Ellana asked her but Marian’s face gave her the answer.

“It’s not my fault that our _golden_ goalkeeper can’t do his job right!”

Her voice was louder on purpose.

“Calm down now. Whether you win or lose, you’re still having drinks at my place, right?”

“As always.” At last she cracked them a smile.

Ellana liked that. She had come to enjoy those little things. “Do you know where’s Sera?”

“She’ll be here in ten minutes.” Ellana checked her phone again.

“She’d have approved…” Marian’s turquoise eyes sparkled. “I’ll have to go back.”

“Good Luck.”

“And stay calm!” Ellana added after Varric. She wasn’t sure that Marian would stay that way but she could at least hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos.  
> Maker, it feels great to be healthy again. :D
> 
> I also wanted to share this with you. I've spend so much timem resting that I've discovered some pretty cool things.  
> This is a solavellan [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TlJPgm5Vi8) I found by chance. I absolutely love her voice and the lyrics! You should check it out if you want a trip down solavellan hell, again.
> 
>  
> 
> Da'len: Little one  
> Shemlen: Human  
> Dhea'him Venuralas: Day of the Gods  
> Dirthavaren: Elven name for the Exalted Plains (Literally: The Promise)


	14. The Tipsy Lion

“Arse-cakes! Pish-anty cough-ass!”

“You spent time with Dorian, Buttercup?” Varric laughed a little looking at Sera giving two fingers at the visitor’s goalkeeper.

“Piss! Those arseholes are cheating!”

“Varric?” He took his eyes away from Sera’s peculiar face when Ellana shouted at him. “Something’s wrong.”

“What?” Varric’s eyes searched for Marian worriedly. In fact, he had been expecting for something bad to happen. It was only a matter of time before one of them did something stupid. “Shit! I told her not to—“

“Finally, some action! Kick him! Kick him hard!”

“Sera!” Ellana grabbed her arm trying to make her sit back. “That’s her teammate!”

“Your teammates can be arseholes, too!” Sera shouted at them cunningly, resisting Ellana’s pull and encouraging Marian to hit harder. Ellana could listen to the crowd shouting at Marian, confused and angry. There was no explanation for such outburst. However, she knew Marian had been waiting for an opportunity since that day at the airport. The two of them were a stubborn, broody and volatile combination that needed no reason to start a fight.

“I’ll go get her. Buttercup, don’t start a riot, okay?”

“Fine!” Sera’s eyes were full of disapproval. She leaned back folding her arms on her chest, letting a cunning smile form on her lips. “Like Miss Elfy here could ever stop me!”

“This isn’t funny, Sera… Do you think we should help Varric? Do something?”

“Uh uh! You’re worrying too much and we have the best seats! Just enjoy the show. Kick him right in the dangle bag, that’ll give him a lesson!”

“Sera!”

“Beeees?”

Ellana ignored Sera’s guffaw and focused on Varric’s short figure running towards the huge Qunari coach. She could see them shouting but their voices were consumed by the voices of the crowd.

Marian didn’t look good. It was nothing like the funny and sweet girl she knew. Such anger was overwhelming.

 

“You selfish son of a bitch!” Marian’s voice pierced Fenris’ ears like poisoned daggers. She kept pushing him back, harder and harder, until Fenris lost his balance and his body landed on the wet grass.

Despite feeling his bones hurt, he neither said a word nor tried to defend himself. He seemed to be comfortable around such raw anger with eyes sparkling and lips forming the most horrific smile Marian had never witnessed.

The white hair fell messily on his sweaty face and although his skin was darker than Marian’s, it looked pale enough to make him look like the ghost of a man tormented by fear. A man whom life had shaped into an angry animal, always scared and suspicious of everything and everyone.

 Marian hadn’t noticed, though.

“Stand up!” Her throat hurt from breathing in more air than she needed. “Stand up you coward and fight!”

She stood over his body looking angrily at his taut eyes. She shouldn't allow herself to push harder. If she stepped down, then there was still time to undo what she had done.

Fenris' cold smirk, though, fuelled her fists and rage found new ways to express itself.

“Marian stop it!” Bull tried to intervene running towards them as fast as his muscular legs allowed him.

“Hawke! Leave him alone! Are you insane?”

“Back off, Stitches!”

“Maker! Leave him alone!”

“What are you waiting for?” Fenris looked at the fire burning in her eyes. “Are you afraid?”

Marian got to him, yelling words that made no sense. She grabbed his uniform and started punching him in the face, her fists flooding with her aura the harder she hit him.

“Hawke!”

There was whistling and voices that told her to stop but she didn’t listen to them. The magic hurt her fists, it burned her knuckles but it wasn’t enough to make her let him go.

Not yet.

Tears streamed down her face but no-one could see them. Voices kept swirling in her mind until Bull finally pulled her away. She tried to escape but he was stronger than her. “That’s enough!”

“No!”

Bull held her tighter, trying to convince her to stop kicking and punching him.  However, she only allowed herself to take a few breaths when she saw Varric coming closer. He seemed worried. Only once had he seen her like that. He understood but the rest would surely punish her for that.

When she calmed down the voices made more sense in her mind. She looked at Fenris lying on the grass, blood covering half of his face. But those green eyes were still looking at her. His smile hadn't faded from his face despite the pain of his broken nose. It flooded Marian with an emotion it was hard to explain and endure. He looked… satisfied?

It was that moment when she understood. That was exactly what he wanted. To prove that he wasn’t the only one responsible.

“Please escort this woman away from the field.” The referee yelled at Bull and he ungripped Marian at once. Her feet felt heavier than usual and her head hurt.

“You stay.” She told him instead, catching another glimpse of Fenris’ face. He was smiling and she couldn’t take it. She thought it would make her feel better but it didn’t. She felt horrible, her stomach was a mess and she had to go.

They saw her running away like a wounded animal chased by wolves. And although Varric tried to go after her, he knew it was wiser to give her some time alone to pull herself together.

“Nice job there, Tiny.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bull lowered his muscular body to Varric’s face. “She just jeopardised her entire career!”

“Weren’t you supposed to keep an eye on them?”

“I thought they were cool! I gave them a time-out!”

“Time-out? Seriously?”

“Look, I’m not a fucking guru but my methods always work!”

“Well, this time they didn’t…” Varric folded his hands on his chest looking at Bull’s black eye patch.

“Vashedan! Can you talk to her and see if she's okay? I have to sort this shit out.”

“I’ll try but you know her...”

“Just talk to her!”

“Coach?” Stitches’ voice forced Bull to turn his huge body clumsily. “What the blazes is going on? Fenris is leaving!”

“The hell he is!”

Varric stared at him chasing after Fenris. That boy was crazy, walking away after getting beaten while his blood was dripping everywhere as he walked. It was a nasty sight and when he looked at the disappointed faces of Marian’s team, Varric was sure they were thinking the same thing.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and started writing a text when he saw Ellana and Sera walking towards him. One worried and the other weirdly amused by the turn of events.

“That was a friggin show, wasn’t it?” Sera laughed but Varric didn’t say anything to her.

“I have to go talk to her...”

“Tell Marian… If she… She can talk to us…” Ellana nodded at him worriedly grabbing Sera’s arm. As much as she disapproved of violence, deep down she knew that somewhat similar had already happened between her and her professor. She was glad that Marian hadn’t used magic against Fenris. That would’ve been her ticket out of the University.

“Yeah, tell her I’ll be here for her, if she wants to finish off that jerk!”

“Sera, not now.”

“She’ll appreciate the thought… Now excuse me, I have a farm to visit.”

“A farm? Who goes to a stupid farm?” Sera’s voice made Ellana wonder but Varric’s voice was reassuring.

“It’s her secret hiding place.”

 

***

When his plane landed, Solas looked at the fancy blue aircrafts parked at the distance. The flight attendant’s words pierced his ears but he didn’t mind paying attention to her instructions.

“...welcome to Halamshiral, Orlais’ most famous seasonal resort...”

Each word echoed like an insult. Halamshiral wasn’t always an Orlesian holiday destination. Solas knew that the city was once a place where the Dalish from all around Thedas would gather. Now it was a place for tourists who wanted to admire the Great Winter Palace or find a way to sneak into President Celene’s grand balls.

He left the plane a little annoyed by the impatient humans pushing to go out first and finally inhaled the smell of plane fuels and metal. It was a rather unfamiliar smell that made his nose itchy. He was never particularly fond of urban life. A nice quiet village seemed more appropriate for him and his hobbies.

Everything was exactly as he remembered. It hadn’t been long since his last visit. Not by choice but necessity. He followed the rest of the passengers to the border control check point quietly, grabbing his documents from his pocket.

“Your passport, please.” The officer examined his face and his black suitcase thoroughly, putting a little smile on Solas’ face. He was happy to hand it over. Human suspicion about non-humans was a usual phenomenon he had to deal with almost daily. There were even times he found it amusing. All those remarks about his weird ears, his posture and his culture didn’t usually touch a nerve, though.  “No surname?”

The officer checked his passport, again.

“Is there a problem, officer?”

“Do you have other official documents on you, sir?”

Solas searched his heavy coat for his University ID and handed it over. He saw the man arching one eye-brow when he read the words. Obviously, an elven professor was too much for him. That was exactly what Solas enjoyed. Proving wrong those who thought that a mere elf could be nothing more than a servant, a thief or a scum.

He was more than that and he knew it.

“Professor?”

“Will this suffice?”

His voice was so calm that surprised the officer.

“Are you here for work or leisure?”

“Work, mostly.”

“That’ll be enough. Enjoy your stay.”

He gave back his documents still examining every part of his face for something off. However, he wouldn’t find it.

Solas put everything in his coat and, after smiling politely, he moved away from border control. He kept thinking about his appointment until he exited the airport and called for a taxi.

Every minute he was there counted. He had to take care of his business and then go back to New Amaranthine, a city he found terrible and of no interest.

No. A city he still found terrible but of  _little_  interest.

That girl, Ellana, had found a way into his thoughts, again. And despite convincing himself that he was not a man who indulged himself into childish whims and dalliances with his students, she was a mystery he would like to crack. He had come across the Dalish numerous times in his journeys. They didn’t usually leave their camps or mingled with other races. The arrogance and ignorance of the Dalish repulsed him. But she was there, free from that bond.

Ellana must’ve had something different from the rest. He kept telling himself that the Lavellans were more open to the world. But still…

He shook the thoughts from his mind and entered his hotel room. Placing his suitcase on the table and unpacking a fresh set of clothes.

He found himself in the shower first, his lean naked body feeling relieved under the warm pressure. Her frowned face and the way she bit her lips when she was annoyed put a little guilty smile on his lips.

It was unlike him to think of such distractions or, in that case, encourage them. olasS quickly switched from warm to cold water. His skin hurt a little but he couldn’t find a better way to push her away.

As much as he tried, his hunger for a touch was always there. There weren’t many things he was afraid of. But the thought of him dying all alone in a world full of ignorant fools frightened him.

 

His phone started vibrating when he was tying his shoes. A new text flashed on his screen and he quickly opened it.

He found two new messages from a number he hadn’t added to his contacts, yet.

 

— 044-xxx-xxxx 8:54 pm

The Tipsy Lion

32 Judicael’s Crossing

9:30 pm

 

— 044-xxx-xxxx 9:30 pm

You are late.

 

He read the words quickly and shoved it in his leather jacket before leaving.

The elf who had arrived in his professory clothes and coat looked nothing like the elf that had left the room. On his way to the elevators Solas caught the girl with the housekeeping cart staring at him for a few seconds before vanishing at the end of the hall. He didn’t mind. Such things were a little foolish for his age, but they reminded him that he was once young and hot-blooded. The presence of a beautiful woman would not escape his attention back then.

As he went own, he felt that the elevator was taking forever to reach the ground floor. It made his impatience grow a little and that rarely happened.

“How can I help you, sir?” The elven man at the reception desk was happy to help him when he approached.

“I had a motorcycle charged in my room. 502.”

“Of course, sir.” The man searched for the keys, giving Solas a moment to examine him.

Put an elf in a fancy suit and human haircut and you won’t be able to tell the difference. Solas had heard of instances where elven women would undergo surgeries to remove the pointy tips of their ears and make their eyes smaller. The price for becoming a part of the human society didn’t seem painful or expensive enough for them. Such incidents gave him reason to justify himself. If the elves weren’t proud of who they were, then this world was already torn asunder.

“Thank you.”

He walked out elegantly ignoring the elven man’s stares and found the motorcycle parked outside the hotel. He didn’t manage to put his helmet on when his phone sent little vibrations to his torso.

“Can’t find the place, my friend?”

“I will be there in a few.”

Those extra minutes in the shower had caused that phone call.

He hung up and let the noise of the motorcycle flood his head. The city was full of tourists taking meaningless pictures of themselves. If the monuments of this city could talk, they would have countless stories of shame to share.

Among those tourists there were also elves and Solas thought that they looked more miserable than he remembered. He recalled all those pictures of ancient elven garments and robes found in his book. They were so majestic that even an elven servant could pass as a noble despite lacking manners. He missed all those fine leathers and soft elven cloth.

The thought of the past kept him company until he saw the outline of the Winter Palace in front of him.  He wasn’t far from the meeting point but took him a few minutes to find a spot to park. When he removed his helmet, the smell of beer and piss reeked into his nostrils like the Blight. The entire city had that smell during the night.

He examined the sign outside the building and checked his phone before entering. The dancing lion holding a huge pint on its hand perfectly summarised its name.

The interior was unfamiliar. A mixture of warm reds and browns with countless yellowish flags with lions hanging all over the place. It somewhat gave the bar regulars a sense of pride and belonging, because as it seemed some of them already considered that place their home, wandering around shirtless.

The Orlesian music playing at the back made Solas wonder of his friend’s taste. If he didn’t know him, he’d say that he had chosen that place for his delight. The smell of piss was replaced by a stronger smell of wheat, barley, and alcohol. It had the same effect on his nose as the plane fuels.

“My friend, it is unlike you to be late.” The man with the big pointy ears at the bar finally spoke to him.

“Excuse me. I was occupied with matters of my own.”

“Can I order something for you? Or is this place too Orlesian for your taste?”

The man’s violet coloured eyes examined Solas. He hadn’t seen him for a while but every time he could swear that he looked exactly like the day he first met him. His clothes were the only different thing about him. And he had seen him wearing various pieces of clothing over the years.

“If I didn’t know you, Felassan, I would say that you have finally found a way to amuse yourself. Apart from telling bad jokes, of course.”

“Was that a joke, my friend?” Felassan smiled at him, bringing the glass with the brown liquid to his lips. “There are not many things an honorary member of the Winter Palace Association can do around here. Prestige and etiquette are too important in these parts, friend. Especially when you are an Elf… At least this reminds me of…”

He didn’t finish his sentence and had another big sip instead. “You seem different.”

Solas found comfort in his silence, shutting every little noise from the crowded bar. “I insist you have a drink. It’s not as terrible as it smells.”

“I am fine.”

“You were not always so 'fine'.” Felassan’s smile attracted his attention, again. It’s honest and a little nostalgic at the same time. The two of them used to drink together, talk about the Fade and enjoy the endless night sky.

“I suspect you do not have the passphrase, yet.”

“Ah.” His voice became more serious than playful. “Come.”

When he stood up, Solas noticed Felassan’s clothes. That modern version of Elven robes added some familiarity to him. He was always fond of tunics and leather belts with golden details. The vallaslin branching on his face, though, reminded Solas of another story. It was the only time the two of them had argued.

Felassan led him to the back of the bar silently, greeting some of the bar regulars with that annoying smile.

“It will take time to convince Briala that I have a genuine interest in her affairs. Trust is a hard-earned commodity, my friend. You of all people know that.”

“And by amusing the ambassador with stories about Arlathan you believe that she will trust you enough to hand it to you?”

“Ah…” He crossed his fingers on the table, smiling cunningly. “The servants’ reputation for excellent hearing precedes them.”

“You have been sharing the Fables with her. Tell me, what interest does she have in listening stories about gods she does not even believe in?”

“Stories were always what brought the elven people together. Whether they believe in them or not. Sharing knowledge of the past, fables, poems and history. Briala is fascinated and this woman is hardly impressed. I, on the other hand, have found myself impressed by her.”

“May I ask why?”

“Briala is a woman that has a particular sense of unity and determination in the struggle against elven oppression. Our conversations usually focus on how things could change. This part of the Eluvian network she controls… she plans on using it to lead the rebel elves into an uprising that’ll shake Orlais. Something that will remind them that the elves are no clerks or servants.”

“Using ancient Elven artefacts of unknown power to start a revolution that will benefit the mass… It is difficult to believe that the ambassador is solemnly doing this out of pity for  _her_   _people_. This woman, whose personal affairs are closely tied to Celene’s, must have more to gain.”

“Briala is not the woman you think, my friend. During my stay here I’ve witnessed things you will find difficult to believe. Is it so hard to imagine that Briala wants to help her people reclaim what was theirs?”

“Are you trying to convince me that Briala’s cause is just, Felassan?”

“All I try to say is that this woman cares deeply for those elves. You can say it is a political manoeuvre to gain favour and followers. But no-one ever made a change without support. Celene and Briala’ affairs have severed their relationship and Gaspard’s tactics to siege power by bringing his cousin down is heavily criticised by Briala’s supporters.”

“I see.”

Solas thought that Felassan’s words felt more like a comparison than a simple statement of facts. Curiosity flooded his mind and he tried to guess the reason behind his friend's behaviour.

“The end justifies the means… Somehow…” Felassan paused for a moment, thinking of his words. Instead, he decided to keep the thought to himself. Adding more fuel to the fire didn’t seem wise. “Never mind. I will acquire the passphrase but I need more time. Will you be staying long?”

“My flight is scheduled for tomorrow morning.”

“You could have stayed longer. I do not get visits from you anymore and we hardly speak. We used to talk about so many things back then… We used to make such a fuss… Do you remember?”

“Ah… That day involved honey, chairs and a lot of cockiness.”

“That was… my fondest memory.” Felassan chuckled, making the first wrinkles around his eyes move along. “Haven’t you missed those days?”

“Those days were over years ago.”

“But don’t you ever desire a moment’s respite, my friend? Haven’t you found anyone interesting enough to draw your attention from this  _grand scheme_? Even for a little while?”

“Is that what you find when you look at the Ambassador’s face, Felassan? Have you developed feelings for her?”

“My feelings for Briala are simple. You could name it friendship if you like. Is it a problem?”

“Far from it. People should seize any chance for a moment's respite in times such as these. Excuse me for being harsh. It has been a long day.”

Solas let himself lean back on his chair and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He took a deep breath and the smell of Orlesian beer felt less disgusting than before.

“I know you. The real you. You used to be different, Solas.”

“That was a long time ago. People…  _change._ ”

“Alright… There is one more thing I would like to ask you.”

“Ask then.”

“What happened to that child? The one you brought at the Sanctuary looking scared and fragile as an embrium bud. I recall how she had grown fond of you... Considering—”

“She died.”

“But I thought you—“

“You thought wrong.”

“But, I thought you… She was… how old?”

“Three.”

“A da’len thought that the Dread Wolf was good enough to like him... You know children don't like scary monsters... Didn’t that mean anything to you?”

“She was a confused child like all those who took refuge at the Sanctuary after—”

“A child of the Evanuris, though.”

“That’s enough, Felassan.”

“Excuse me, my friend. As you said, it has been a long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pish-anty cough-ass: Vishante Kaffas (literally: You shit on my tongue)  
> Vashedan: Shit
> 
>    
> I know it's been a long time since I updated this but I had to deal with moving in to my new place (in a different country). 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> <3


	15. Bethany's Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Varric finds Marian after punching Fenris during their match. Ellana discovers she needs to get rid of something she forgot she had. Zevran being Zevran. Music night in the Common Room.

“Are you enjoying the smell of manure, Hawke? My nostrils are already hurting from the stench!”

“Varric…”

Marian looked at him with eyes red from crying. She didn’t mind the smell. It was something that reminded her of good times. Her father would bring her and the twins there often when they were little. Carver used to be afraid of the august rams running around but Bethany loved feeding and playing with them.

_Bethany…_

Marian never spoke of her and when her thoughts ran back to her family, she avoided thinking about her. It wasn’t out of sibling rivalry but due to the fear of uncertainty. Before Carver’s death Bethany was responsible for exploring some Thaigs in the Deep Roads. Since the day she accepted that cursed offer, Marian had never been at peace. Her mother shared the feeling, but Bethany left anyway.

A week later they informed them that the Thaig Bethany was excavating had collapsed, killing everyone but Bartrand Tethras. Marian and Varric were only acquaintances at that time, but what brought them closer was the evidence that Bartrand was responsible for the collapse and death of all those people. Numerous lives had been lost in an instant for one careless man’s cruel ambition.

She prayed that Bethany had somehow survived. Her magic was strong and Marian still hoped. However, three years later, Marian had no sign of her.

At least, until a few days ago…

The air felt wet and earthy in her nose as the memories came back. Her father had told her that they had been planning to move to Lothering, buy a farm and live there peacefully. Carver hated the idea but he would have changed his mind eventually.

That dream would have been beautiful.

It would have given her mother the peace of mind she desperately needed after eloping with their father. That marriage was something Bethany always found romantic. Their parent’s secret meeting at that side balcony during Perrin Threnhold’s banquet excited her young mind. Marian was never into those stories and preferred chasing lizards with Carver than listening to them. But after a long time, when her family was gone, she could see that her parents were brave enough to choose what they truly wanted.

Happiness. That was it.

A piece of happiness…

“You remembered this place…”

Marian finally looked at Varric’s face and slowly jumped down from the huge haystack.

“It’s not the first time I find you here, Hawke.”

“Ah...”

“Are you alright? You broke some ugly elf nose back there.”

“How bad was it? I… it was… a blur.”

“It was messy, but he’ll live. Plenty of alcohol should do the trick. I bet he’s a wine person.”

“I don’t know what got into me. I just saw him there and…”

“Wanted to kill him? A pretty common reaction if you ask me. He looks like a jerk and you always had that I-have-to-kick-the-hell-out-of-that-jerk attitude.”

“Right…”

She breathed in the smell of soil and looked at the yellowish field spreading in front of them nostalgically. Counting the number of haystacks scattered all the way to distract her mind was strangely satisfying.

“Listen, although I don’t disapprove of what you did there, I’m a little worried... My guess, they will either remove you or disqualify your team from every game until next year. But if you c—”

“I decided to step down as team Captain, Varric… At least for now…”

“What? You want to leave the team?”

“I thought about it... This incident just made my decision easier.”

“But why?”

Varric moved a little closer to her trying to catch a glimpse of her face. “Is something, wrong?”

“It’s easier to show you…”

She made a step back and grabbed her bag lying on the grass. Inside, tossed among her uniform and various snacks, lied a yellowish envelope she didn’t have the courage to open. “I received this some days ago…”

She pulled the envelope hesitantly, her fingers almost trembling, and handed it to Varric without looking.

“That’s your family’s seal, isn’t it?”

“My mother’s.”

“Is it from your grandparents?”

“No. I can’t be.”

“Why didn’t you open it?” Varric looked at Marian trying to understand. Her red eyes looked tired and ready to succumb to tears, again. He couldn’t let that happen.

“Because… Because the address… Look at the letters… That’s my sister’s handwriting!”

“Bethany’s?”

The name filled Varric with the same nervousness. For three years, no-one had found any sign of either Bethany’s body or proof that she had somehow survived.

And now a letter had appeared out of nowhere.

“I can’t… What if…?”

“Do you want me to open it?”

“I don’t know…”

“Marian… What if—“

“She’s alive!?”

Her voice was loud, full of anger and worry. It would take time for that wound to heal.

“Yes…”

“For three years… Three fucking years! If she’s alive, then why didn’t she show up?”

Varric was speechless. He couldn’t say anything to comfort her. It made him furious that it was his brother that had caused it. Thats angst… It made him feel equally responsible for it.

“I’m sorry…”

Marian was caught by surprise when she felt Varric’s arms around her.

“Varric…”

She knew it wasn’t his fault. For three years, he had done everything in his power to help her. It was responsibility at first, a way to make up for his brother’s selfish actions, but as he got to know her, he came to care for her. He had seen something in that girl’s face that had reminded him of himself.

_Bethany…_

She held onto Varric, hugging him tightly while shoving her face on his shoulder to hide her tears. Varric was no fool. He could feel her sobbing and murmuring things he wished she had the strength to forget and move on.

“It’s alright. Let it out. It’s going to be alright. You are going to be fine. You always do. Okay?”

Marian cried until the burden on her chest felt a little lighter. She pulled back slowly and took a deep breath before wiping the tears from her red cheeks.

At the distance, she could see the sun diving. A perfect mix of pinks and oranges that turned the scattered haystacks into little colourful hills. She remembered those colours. Her memory had preserved them like a precious photograph. It flooded her with joy knowing that once they had all looked at the same sunset together. Her mother and father holding the three of them in their laps, giggling softly as the dark veil of the night took over.

“Is it okay if I take some time off work?”

“Will you go see him?”

“Gamlen may be the most disgusting, selfish and rude man in the world, but he’s still my family…”

“I see… will you need company?”

“Thanks, but…” Her blue eyes sparkled like little polished fluorites when she looked at him. “It’s something I’ll have to do alone.”

Varric helped her stand up and returned the yellowish envelope. He could feel the burden slipping from his fingers as she picked it. She would open it when she would feel ready, hoping that some words would be able to offer her the closure she desperately needed.

“Are you good to drive?”

“I’m fine… dwarf dad…” Her voice still had that sad hue mixed in between.

“Hey! I’m not that old!”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Her eyes felt dry and itchy but it was nothing she couldn’t handle.

“Fine… Don’t forget to give your friends a call. Ellana is worrying sick about you. Sera… hmm… not so much. But you know her. She’ll show it after ten shots of tequila.”

“I don’t blame Ellana… all this must be too strange for her.”

“I guess so… she seems very nice. I’m glad you two hang out.”

“What was that, again, dwarf dad? Approving of my friends? Giving advice? What’s next? TheTalk?”

“Just go...” He ordered. “Little prick…”

Varric folded his arms on his chest, giving her an annoyed yet playful look that meant he’d remember that. Deep down he enjoyed it, though.

Varric saw her smiling at last, that silly smile that meant she would be back to her normal self soon, and then heard the engine roaring. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Sense has never been my strong suit.”

He mumbled a slow ‘Maker’s balls’ as the car moved. She would be alright. He was sure of it. She just needed time.

“Take care, Hawke.”

 

Ellana stared at her phone, again. Her index tapped impatiently on the screen to unlock it but there was nothing there. Not yet. Sera had told her to relax a little and stop acting like a worried ‘elfy mum’. Marian wasn’t a child and Varric had said she’d talk to her.

She let a slow breath out and stood up from her chair shoving the metallic device in her pocket. There was surely something better to do than worrying too much. She only had to discover it.

Her wardrobe was wide open and when she walked towards it, the smell of peony and lavender flooded her nose. Her fingers brushed the different fabrics trying to decide if she should rearrange things, when they suddenly stopped. Ellana wondered why she hadn’t given that back already.

It was weird enough that they had done that _thing_ she couldn’t even name. Now her professor’s cardigan was hanging among her own clothes. She finally pulled it from the hanger and examined the fine wooden buttons. It looked like something she’d find at a little local shop than Black’s Emporium.

She wondered if…

The fibres almost touched the tip of her nose. It still had his scent despite absorbing the smell of peony and lavender. She could tell it was a rather familiar earthy smell, worn leather, a hint of vanilla and amber that produced a faint prickle at the back of her nose. It felt quite soothing and she took another deep breath trying to connect his smell with the one she had memorised.

Maybe it was the worn leather. Her clan had a fine collection of such leathers and oils made exclusively by the clan’s craftsman.

_Maybe…_

_What am I doing???_

She quickly moved to the kitchen and searched for a plastic bag. That thing had to go. Ellana crammed it clumsily into one and after she tied it up, she threw it back in her wardrobe, ashamed by her action.

_So stupid…_

The smell followed her around the room and she only got rid of it when she found herself locking her door. The corridor smelled of freshly baked pizza and cigarettes. It was better… It should be, but trying to forget it was more difficult than she thought, though. It swirled in her mind forming the picture of his lips kissing hers ever so softly, his fingers tracing her skin without restraint and his voice whispering nothing but words that a man of this status should never say to a girl like her.

_Fenedhis…_

She tried to repel it, blaming her stupid attraction to him being her first kiss.

When she reached the ground floor she checked her mailbox but there was nothing but colourful gym flyers with muscular shemlens posing in weird ways. She considered walking since it wasn’t that late when she heard music coming from the common room.

The sound pulled her towards the door and when she pushed it, she was surprised by the number of students sitting inside. There were faces she had never seen around and faces she had greeted only once while doing her laundry.

Theron was sitting on a stool with his bluish guitar on his lap, performing a song she was sure she’d heard before. She walked towards the big pool table on her left enjoying the sound and rhythm of his voice when she noticed another face leaning on it with a bottle of beer on hand. The top of his hair was pulled back into a little blonde bun that revealed every line of his sun-kissed face.

“Ellana!”

“Hi.” She tried to recall his name for a few seconds. “Zevran, right?”

“Have you forgotten me so easily, princess?”

His smirk made Ellana smile at him shyly.

“No… I had a long day. It’s hard to even recall what I had for lunch.”

“I see. A long day needs a good night’s sleep. Or other stuff that will make all this pressure go away, don’t you agree?”

His remark got her thinking but preferred not to reply.

“Have you been here long?”

“Four bottles long.” Zevran looked at her with big amber eyes full of bliss. He turned around elegantly and brought her a new bottle with a blue griffon on it. He passed it to her with a smile that made her cheeks feel a little warmer. “Here. That should fix this long, possibly crappy, day of yours.”

“Thanks.”

She didn’t hesitate to grab it and examined the label thoroughly to avoid Zevran’s eyes.

“You don’t like ale?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just… alcohol and I don’t get along well…”

“Ah, a freshman’s struggle.” Zevran moved his body closer to hers. “It gets better with time. Trust me. During your third year you’ll be drinking things you didn’t even know you could!”

“You are a freshman, too.”

“Ha!” His voice was loud and clear. “An Antivan, though. Have you heard of it?”

“I know some people from there.”

“Are they pirates, ne’er-do-wells, merchants, charmers?”

Ellana found it amusing. Isabella had a similar straightforward charm but Josephine was a simple and sweet woman.

“I can’t tell for sure.”

“I see. What do you think of me, then?”

“A pirate maybe? I don’t know…”

“Ah!” Her words put a sly smile on his lips. He was a charming man, Ellana could see that. “That, my friend, was a good guess.”

He brought his bottle closer to hers and the noise filled Ellana’s ears for a moment. She copied Zevran and had a big sip from her bottle feeling the strong bitter flavour satisfying her throat.

“So… what does an Antivan pirate do here exactly?”

“That has a nice echo to it but no. Try Antivan Cyber _Assassin_!”

Ellana seemed confused, murmuring a silent ‘okay’ while trying to process it. “I’m messing with you, of course. Or ain’t I?”

Zevran burst into laughter attracting the attention of a dwarf girl sitting in front of them. She seemed to have listened to their conversation.

“Ellana!”

The sudden voice turned her eyes away from Zevran’s mischievous face.

“Hey.”

“Didn’t see you coming. Been here long?”

“Just now. I heard music while checking my mail.”

He cracked her one of his friendliest smiles and put his guitar on the pool table. Music flooded the room again as another boy started playing music on the piano near the corner. “Is this a regular thing?”

“No. Some guys saw me carrying my guitar while getting back from practice and sort of insisted we play a song or two. Seems more people heard the music, too.”

“Obviously, these  _guys_  are big fans of you.”

Zevran leaned forward to look at Theron’s precious reaction. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Ahem… Is this guy bothering you, Ellana? I could inform management that a suspicious Antivan guy is harassing people around the dorm.”

“Oh you wouldn’t do that.” His voice was more playful than annoyed. “Harassing women is not my style, Theron. Courting, now, that’s the proper term.”

“Well… Zevran was just telling me he’s a… Cyber Assassin?”

“Are you still telling people you are an ‘Assassin’? Creators!”

“It has a certain charm, hasn’t it?”

He lifted his bottle towards Theron and had another sip to annoy him a little more.

“Try saying that to an officer. He’ll find it very… amusing. Then throw you in jail, for good. Problem solved.”

“A life of danger!”

Ellana grinned a little and tried to hide it by having another sip. “At least, Ellana likes it.”

Theron narrowed his eyes a little as he looked at him.

“He studies computers or something.”

“Ah.”

“It’s called programming. Know anything about computers, Ellana?”

“Took me some time to figure it out but it’s okay now…”

“So, it’s a Dalish thing, then?”

“Dalish thing?”

“I’ve seen Theron doing some awful things to his computer. If you ask me, I give it six months.”

“I was just…” Theron took a breath to avoid yelling at him. “Anyway… pass me a bottle. I need to drown my one regret.”

“Which is?” Zevran’s voice sounded like a seductive whisper in their ears.

“Having a roommate.”

Ellana tried harder not to laugh but finally let it out. They both seemed like good guys to hang out. Or more… She hadn’t decided yet, but she was sure she liked Theron a lot.

When Zevran passed Theron the ale, she felt her pocket vibrating. She reached for it still smiling, when Marian’s named flashed on it.

“I have to get this.” She hoped off the table listening to Zevran teasing Theron.

“Sure. I’ll keep the lone singer company. He adores me after all.”

She smiled at Theron and then left the common room in a hurry. Outside she could feel the cold finding new ways to invade her body.

“Hey…” Marian’s voice was slow and tired.

“Hey… How are you?”

“Fine.”

“Good.” Ellana tried to find the right words without pushing her to speak. “Are you home?”

“Been here a while now…” Her words gave Ellana a picture of how she should be. Eyes puffy and red, lips unwilling to open and speak clearly. “I spoke with Varric in the afternoon.”

“Do you need anything?”

“I just need some sleep that’s all. Thank you for asking… I called to tell you that I’ll leave for Kirkwall in the morning. I have some things to take care. It’s kind of urgent.”

“Of course. Yes. Didn’t need to say anything.”

“I might spend the entire winter break there. I’m sorry. We said—“

“Don’t think about it!” Her voice was sincere. “I’m a Dalish, did you forget? Satinalia isn’t a Dalish thing anyway…”

“I’ll make up for this… Sorry you had to see that.”

“Do you need to talk about it? It was pretty… rough.”

“I know. I should’ve stopped but I couldn’t…” She heard her taking a deep breath before speaking. “By the way, Krem will be the new captain.”

“What?”

“You know Krem, right?”

“Yeah, but… did the committee decide to punish you?”

“No… I quit before they kicked my ass. I spoke with Bull earlier. He’s mad because he said they would have given me a six-month break instead. But he’ll be okay.”

“But why? I don’t get it.”

“This thing with Fenris made me realise some things. Priorities if you like. I have some things to take care and getting myself into that stupid game was only a way to avoid them. He’s still the greatest asshole in the History of Thedas, though. But by hitting him, I just became worse than him.”

Marian chuckled to the sound of her words.

“Listen, Marian, I might have seen something… back at the airport…”

“If it’s about him, it can wait. Apologising to that asshole would be one hell of a day. But not right now.”

“I see.”

“I’ll have to go now. My eyes are super sleepy. I might not be around my phone for a while but feel free to text me if anything happens.”

“I will. Sleep well.”

It was a mess but Ellana was glad Marian had come to terms with her anger. Obviously, there was something more. Something greater than a rivalry.

The cold air hurt her nose with each breath she took and finally found comfort inside the slightly warmer hall. Theron and Zevran were waiting for her in the common room, enjoying the music and their ale.

“Everything alright?”

Theron could tell she seemed a little stressed. Her face was always so calm that the slightest annoyance was drawn all over her lips and forehead. He had seen that look before.

“Marian… quit the Chargers.”

“Is this a bad thing? Sounds like a bad thing.” Zevran interrupted them putting his elbow on Theron’s shoulder.

“Fenedhis! I totally forgot about it! The match was today, wasn’t it? I was with the group until late and missed it. Did anything happen?”

“She sort of punched someone in the face.”

“Someone took this match thing seriously. I like it!” 

“It was her teammate…”

“Shit!” Theron felt his shoulder hurting from Zevran’s arm but didn’t say anything. “Where is this woman? I need to meet her. Talk about it more privately.”

“I won’t even comment on that.” Theron finally pushed him away from his aching shoulder and gave it a quick rub before speaking to Ellana. “Did anyone talk to her?”

“Sweet Mother of Mercy! You have to relax a little, Mahariel.”

Zevran’s voice didn’t seem to have any effect, though.

“Varric… but she quit anyway.”

“But she loved being captain!”

“I know, Theron. But it’s her decision.”

“Right. I guess she’ll eventually talk about it.”

“All I say is that a good banging would solve everything. Maybe with that person she punched. ‘Make love not war’. That’s a shemlen thing, I think, right?” Zevran stood up from the pool table elegantly. “Now excuse me, I have some business to take care. See you later.”

“Creators… For once more, I’m sorry for him. He can’t be helped.”

“Don’t worry. He doesn’t seem that bad.”

“Trust me, he is.”

She shrugged a little and sat next to Theron. The boy was still playing, flooding the room with his voice.

“On a lighter note, will you be heading back to your clan for the holidays?”

“Marian, Sera and I were thinking about going to Denerim for the holiday festival but I hardly believe this will happen now. Will you?”

“Yeah… It’s been a long time since I saw them. Zevran will also go to Kirkwall for a few days. He said there’s a tournament of sorts. I’m guessing poker?” He thought about it a little more. “I hope it is poker. He has that shady vibe. I can’t really tell anymore.”

“Who knows.” She laughed and the black lines on her face moved along with her cheeks. Theron thought she was beautiful when she did that. She was beautiful when she smiled. It suited her best. But it wasn’t the right time to tell her that. He had been thinking about it for some time. Maybe after the holidays he would ask her out and see how things would go.

He would love to show her his favourite places, grab a drink, talk...

“Want another drink?” His voice was low, like an embarrassed whisper meant only for her ears. The thought of him asking her out made his ears feel warmer and wondered if she had noticed. Her cheeks looked a little redder than usual. He wondered if it was because of the way he was staring at her. Had she understood?

"Why not?"

Theron turned his eyes to the ale bottles next to him trying hard to repel the image of her smooth neck, red cheeks and soft lips standing right next to him.

 _A few more days..._ He reassured himself. _Don't be weird..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Responsibilities, responsibilities... why do you keep me away?


End file.
